Okay, fourth time lucky....trying to get the words our right here so I don't upset you. (Don't know how many times I've deleted what I've written!)

I can understand where you're coming from.

It is okay for you to be selfish.

In fact you aren't being selfish at all.

What you are doing is hurting.

There is nothing worse than a mothers day when you were supposed to be a mother. Just like there is no worse thing than a fathers day when your child doesn't have a father but you see them all around you.

We take so many things for granted in our lives that it's hard for people to understand how much it hurts to see happy families together. Gosh, even if they aren't so happy, just doing the weekly shop or anything mundane. It tears at your heart and leaves an emptiness that nothing can fill except that which you are missing. My body ached watching families together, a family that I thought my son and I would never have.

This mothers day you are hurting and I think you deserve to do what ever it is that you want to do. If you want to go and spend the day with your mum, I think you should. Make the day about her. The other thing you could do is just to tell your DH that you want to spend the day with him. His daughter can go to his mothers house (drop her there on the way out). Go somewhere and enjoy some grown up time together. He's probably hurting to but doesn't know how to help you.

Allow yourself to grieve and allow yourself to heal.

Wishing you love and joy on your journey.