My DH often accuses me of looking for things that aren't there, but you know what I believe that is part of his PA behaviour. I do not deliberately look for things, it is just that my radar goes off and I question him. This past weekend for example, I gave him warnings about all his behaviours that cause stress when packing. I thought I would get ahead of the behaviour, set clear boundaries. Well it did not stop him and did not stop the complaints when we were camping of all the things I did not get done (which I did not get done due to his constant interruptions). I could go on for ages about a lot of his behaviour this weekend.

Liz - I get what you are saying, but I think what we have here is major difference of experiences. Whislt there is a part of me that you love you to experience some of the PA behaviour that we have just so you get where we are coming from, another part of me does not, as it really is not nice and it is much nicer to go through life not knowing the pain it causes.