Its unavoidable when a child comes into a family that the dynamics are going to change - you're not so much 'hot young lovers' as opposed to just 'mum and dad' and it can take a bit of getting used to and adjusting so you can be both things.

Im sure that he does love your DD, but it's hard for men to quantify that love. It's easy for us as we are naturally more loving and nurturing people and have had 9 odd months to form a bond with our babies, but men just have to wait until baby is here to be able to fall in love with them kwim? - I bet if you asked him he would say that he does love his DD, but maybe not in love with her and that's fine - sometimes love has to be worked on and doesn't always happen instantly.

You said that she was a surprise baby, well that may have something to do with it too. He may not have been mentally prepared to think about a baby and about how it would change things. When we found out we were pg with our first it was a huge surprise - we'd been married for only 6wks and DH had previously said that he wasn't ready for children yet when we'd discussed it. And yes, he did struggle with the changes and not having me all to himself was the biggest issue, but did he love his son? you bet he did, would die for him, but it wasn't something he could easily show because he had zero experience with babies before ours was born and just didn't know how to stop him crying or to settle him to sleep - especially when he was out working all day. He didn't have the time that I did getting to know him so in the end it just boiled down to him feeling somewhat inadequate in not knowing what to do with him really. is there something that they can do together - like the bathing, or even just sitting and playing with her - she is getting to the age now where she is starting to take more of an interest in her surroundings now, so if he sang silly songs or pulled funny faces, she would respond to that now and it would go a long way to make him feel like he is doing something with her.

HTH.