Baby Socks

I think you're handling a very difficult situation EXTREMELY well. He's showing the typical abusive partner pattern - a few warning signs beforehand then more when you're pregnant and then getting out of hand when the baby is born.

While you're feeling relatively calm (which I think is amazing under the circumstances), I'd be finding out about Domestic Violence Services in your area - not so much for right now, but just so you have contact numbers to hand should you need any in the future.

Chances are he WILL try to win you back and he must be reasonably persuasive if your mum ended up feeling sorry for him. That, by the way, has floored me - FFS he hit you and it's not like he was the perfect partner before then. He wasn't helping you with the baby, didn't want her around so it's not like this is just a minor glitch.

When I first told my DP about your original post, his exact words were "well, he sounds like a total loser." I think blokes often put things much better and simpler than us women! Another bloke told me (when I was giving him a VERY LONG story one day about an on again, off again relationship that completely tormented me) "look Fiona, if someone loves you they make your life easier not harder, they don't make you cry they make you smile so even if this guy is telling you he loves you, it doesn't seem like he's making you happy."

I have no doubt that there are reasons that your ex has turned out the way he is. I am a firm believer that everyone comes out good but circumstances can make them bad.

But, I also believe that it takes A LONG time for people to sort themselves out from bad childhoods - I usually give people until they're 30.

So even if he does try to re-enter your life saying he's sorry, it won't happen again, he may mean it but it's not realistic. It took years for him to become the person he is, it will take years for him to change.

You don't have the time to wait that long and your DD deserves a positive upbringing.

Lastly, I want to say that many women return to abusive partners and feel ashamed that they've done so because everyone 'told them not to' and they then feel like they can't go and seek support from those they originally sought support from. This does not mean they're stupid. It can be very difficult to leave especially when you love/care about someone. I hope you stick to your guns of getting him out of your life but if not, please do keep posting here and/or get some support from elsewhere.

As I said, I think you're handling this extremely well and fingers crossed, he has gone for good.