Oh your post reminds me of where I was about a year ago. When we fell pg with #2 I knew that Dh only wanted two. I guess I always thought I would talk him around... Anyway shortly after DD was born he was ready for some permanent BC. He even asked the OB if he could tie my tubes after the birth? WTF anyway I refused and it was a Catholic hospital anyway :-) So he signed himself up for a vasectomy and now we are offically infertile.
That period between having my DD and when he got the vastectomy done was gut wrenching. I desperately wanted another baby but I didn't know if it was simply because I knew I couldn't or if I really did want another baby? At times I was happy with my 2 gorgeous ones but at other times I knew we were meant to be a family of five. In the end it was hopeless as DH was adament about only having 2 and pushing a 3rd would have strained our relationship to breaking point.
We are now in a very happy place with our 2 gorgeous kids. It has taken me all this time to be OK with not having a 3rd. I still get a twinge when I see newborns and pregnant people but we are focused on the next stage now and have it clearly in sight. I found it handy to set some goals that we couldn't acheive with three - overseas holidays, time to myself to do my hobbies etc and it is working! I often consider donating eggs or similar as I feel it is such a waste for me to be able to have kids and not while others struggle - I wish they would invent a way to transplant a uterus as I would happily give mine away :-)
The thought of giving things away was (and still is) a little hard although I am doing it gradually to people who really need it so it is giving me a good feeling as they go.
So in a long winded answer to your question, yes the urge to have more does go away. i also wondered if after I had #3 if I would want #4 and I think the answer would be yes I would. I found 2 kids was much easier than one and would have loved to had a huge famiy full of kids but I am very happy with where we are now - and live though friends and online friends pregnancy instead :-) - bonus no morning sickness
to be honest although i know the urges will be hard for me to deal with after this bubs is born but for us its more for finacial reasons that we wont be having more. we'd need bigger cars, house etc....
I was so sure that baby #3 would be our last, and up until Matilda was 1 year old I still thought that. But that urge came back. Slowly at first, but now that my 'baby' is about to turn 2 the desire to be pregnant again is oh so strong. DH is back and forth. One minute he wants to have a fourth, the next he doesn't. Doesn't help that TTC is just not working atm. It is taking much longer this time than with any of the others. Anyway, four kids will definitely be our limit. It has to be - even if the 'urge' came back after having #4, which I know it would, my head would have to overrule my heart. Besides, we will make it an impossibility by getting DH the snip.
I have just had my 5th and I'm now wondering if maybe we should try for 6 lol. DF is going for the snip in 8 weeks so maybe the decision will be taken out of our hands. Anyway if we go for more then never mind the tarago we will need a bus lol
Liz - As you know DH and I were angonising over the same question...Well as you know my urge got the better of me and number 3 is on the way. I already feel that this is it and once number 3 comes I'll be complete feeling.
It is interesting to face the possibility of never having another bub. I have witnessed a lot of my friends draw the line in the sand and say enough is enough, however the decision seemed to need a mourning process. I guess when you decide not to have anymore apart of your life has completed, your body has done the job is was born to do and now there is nothing. Even though this bub is the last with me I think I'll go through a bit of grieving.
I'm definately feeling complete after having my third. The urge has completely left me so i know my preggy days are over - so much so that i got them to clamp my tubes while they were delivering Isla. I know if i'd listened to my head and stopped at 2 then i would have always been wondering and yearning. I followed my heart and am very glad i did.
I can't say whether it's right for you or not but i would say follow your heart, you'll know.
all the best for the decision making ,although thi sthread was started a while back so you may have already decided!
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