^ Well then I'm definitely not a child abuser as far as the law says Always on the bum/thigh (seeing as nappies act as a big bit of padding and therefore don't allow me to get the point across), always with an open hand and never hard enough to leave a mark - just enough to give her a bit of a shock, hurt her pride worse than her backside, and enforce the message that 'no' means just that... and I only use it when she's being deliberately disobedient (ie has been told several times 'no' and still does it regardless) or when she's in immediate danger where having a stern chat or waiting for her to listen to me is putting her at risk (eg touching power cords/opening the oven door while it's open etc). Or, when she's throwing a completely unnecessary tantrum and a quick tap on the bum sort of shocks her out of her hysteria and gets her to stop and think long enough for me to talk to her and calm her down.

As far as judging goes, I'm sure there are parents out there who would judge me for using smacking as discipline, but I didn't set out to be one of those 'smacking' parents - maybe for other parents, non-physical forms of discipline work perfectly well and that's awesome for them, but for DD in particular, sometimes it's just necessary. I'm just waiting until she's old enough to understand me properly and we'll review that when the time comes, perhaps as she gets a bit older she won't need to be smacked as other forms of discipline will work - but then again, maybe not (I remember being smacked right up until I became taller than my mum at the age of 10). DD2 may be a completely different child and may not ever need to be smacked, I will certainly try to avoid it if I can.

At the moment I'm being really mad at DH because he thinks it's entirely hilarious to 'teach' DD cuss words - he's already taught her the 's' word and today he had her repeating the 'f' word back to him in her tiny little girl voice - 'buck, buck'... I know she's going to pick those words up eventually because DH and I use four-letter words as frequently and casually as we use words like 'dog' and 'car', but I don't think it's funny for him to sit her down and teach her how to say them, kwim??
So I'll be in for it as she begins to speak more clearly, all the daycare/school mums will be pursing their lips and glaring at me because DD is teaching *their* kids how to cuss...