To answer the original question, yes I judge. I come home from mother's group feeling depressed for the entire next day due to my different parenting style from some of the other mothers, but of course I don't say anything because all the babies are happy and healthy.

I'm most judgemental on myself, however, and I shudder to think what some of my friends would think if they knew my baby had self-weaned by 4 months, despite my desperate attempts to keep going, so I'm not going to tell them.

But I really wanted to comment on the issue of protecting the child from the child molester, and I just wanted to say that unless you have proof there's no point alerting the police, and without proof it would be wrong to alert child protection services. I don't believe taking a child out of the care of the mother is in anyone's best interest. The foster care system is not the better option. However, you might consider organising a proper intervention for your friend with her friends and family, she would do much better with loving support than judgement alone (of course you have to judge her first in order to decide she needs an intervention) since she's found herself in such a bad place in life.

Regarding the wearing of shoes ... I ran around barefoot as a child. It's really very common in Australia for children to run around barefoot. Everyone's barefoot on the Gold Coast, riding their bikes and skateboarding around the beach in bikinis and that's all. Obviously if there's broken glass you need to teach your children to be careful, but shoes are overrated.