Younger Couples Chat ~ January 2008 #2

**Kazmar** · January 14th, 2008, 11:09 AM

hey girls i've got a question 4 u: Does anyone else feel guilty about going out as in clubbing? I just cant bring myself 2 do it. B4 Bella i out every weekend a real party animal but now i had the option 2 go and i passed coz i got butterflies and really nervous about it and it was a wk away! How do i get over it? And stop feeling like a bad mummy. Also once Bella is 1 i wont mind her being looked after by MY mum but never DP parents. THey just have such diiferent ways of thinking 2 me and have lots of things that i disagree with, 2 DP when he was young, the way they raised him and things they say 2 her and around her. 4 example his mother calls lil bugs, WOGS, she 4 gets what i am and also they keep saying "Oh Bella will b such a good lil Aussie". Im getting really ****ED OFF such talking about it so ill stop. U'll all soon learn i have major issues with the stupidity of my IL's. I just dont want them 2 ever say 2 her that she's more Aussie or make her think that being Europian is a bad thing. Sorry guys i got carried away but it's a big prob i have and it's only getting worse.

**Early Kids** · January 14th, 2008, 11:40 AM

Kass, big hugs... I have IL probs too! I think we all do to some extent! Your heritage doesn't matter in the sense that Bella is beautiful and healthy and thats all that matters. She will embrace her background when shes older. I am an Aussie, but I am also English. my dad is a pom. nigel is Aussie, but his fathers side is Dutch. Brendan has the choice of being what he wants. if he wishes to embrace the aussie way of life he cans but if he wants to embrace the rest of his heritage he can do that also. Dont listen to what they say, just nod and smile

Take Care

**rustygirl** · January 14th, 2008, 11:47 AM

It's not up to them who she is....the fact is, that she was born half Aussie half European and that is that! No matter what they say she will always stay that way. Try not to let it effect you.

And don't worry about worrying that they will make her think that being Aussie is a good thing and being European isn't. Your her mother. You decide how you will bring her up!

**Early Kids** · January 14th, 2008, 11:51 AM

Well said Nina!

**Kitt3n** · January 14th, 2008, 12:01 PM

Clubbing will never be as much fun ever again! soz!!!
I think DD was about 2 when i left her for the first time to goclubbing again - and the place was so damn boring. Most people who go clubbing dont have kids - and their lives are so different. Not they they are empty, but when you have a little one and you go clubbing you kind of look around, thinking to yourself that you are so lucky for this (clubbing) not to be the best part of your life!!
About the "wog" thing - what narrow minded IL's... that would drive me nuts. Next tiem they something about her being brought up aussie add something to the extent of "well, yes, she was born here but i will do everything to ensure she is taught about, and embraces her heritage".
Not sure what nasho you are, maybe getting the lil one to do dancing of the area you are from will spark an intrest in your nationality? She may resent you after their comments if she isnt interested of her own accord.

**Kazmar** · January 14th, 2008, 12:01 PM

By all means i dont want her 2 dislike being Aussie but i think they know that she's more part of my family then theres. Well in the end if it gets 2 much clint will say something coz he gets annoyed at them also. And my family have a lot more 2 do with Bella then his and she's just another one of "us girls" in my family, we're very close and she slips in there. I think im scared of her being like them! But i no she wont coz she's mine and will grow up knowing what there like and 2 take know notice of there unintelligent comments. She already gets so frustrated with them when they hold her 4 2 long....hahahahaha it makes me laugh. I kinda just imagine Bella and i, when she's a teenager, her and i in the car driving home from visting them laughing at how silly they r. Though i want her 2 love and respect them, she'll learn 4 herself what there like.
Thanx guys it's an issue im slowly getting over, i need 2 relise that she's mine and always b my daughter and noone can take that away from me.

**Kazmar** · January 14th, 2008, 12:08 PM

catrionalee: I agree about looking around thinking thank god this isn't the best thing in my life. My mind just isn't there anyomre and i have more fun catching up with ppl who have kids and having a drink and good food.
As 4 the wog thing that is a great idea 2 get her involved. I was born in melbourne but im the 1st generation 2 b on my mummy's side, im french/italian. And my meme (nana) speaks 2 Bella in french which im so happy about coz i didn't learn it and i really feel asthough i missed out. Though my meme thought me how 2 speak english and pretty much brought me up! Coz my meme has such a stronge accent I had a french accent until i went 2 school........hahahahaha ppl used 2 ask me where im from and i was like "Australia!"

**rustygirl** · January 14th, 2008, 12:16 PM

That is sooo cool that Bella has so many different nationalities in her! What a multicultral family! Love it. Awesome that your meme speaks to her in french too. Don't worry, you will always meet people that just don't get it. You just have to keep telling yourself and Bella that it has nothing to do with you. That is how they were bought up....by people with a closed mind!

mummycate · January 14th, 2008, 01:08 PM

I'm lurking, under a tonne of stress.

**Kazmar** · January 14th, 2008, 01:25 PM

Thanx Nina ur posts helped lots. How r u feeling?
Catherine: How is everything going?

**rustygirl** · January 14th, 2008, 01:36 PM

I'm good. I have all the aircons on cleaning out our cupboards in preperation of the removalists on THURS/FRI. We did a big throw out about 2mths ago. I can't believe that I have filled 6 garbage bags already!!!

Hope your ok Cate....

**JCE0810** · January 14th, 2008, 01:44 PM

Kass- Sorry i'm of no use to you over the clubbing question. I wasnt much into clubbing or drinking before i fell pregnant so i wont miss it once i've had bubs.

Cate- I've been checking your other threads and just want to give you a big

. I hope things get better for you.

I HATE QLD WEATHER, sorry had to get that off my chest. This morning it was showering and now its a yucky/muggy/humid hot day. I've got the fan on in the office (where im on the computer) & the aircon & fan on in our room once it cools down enough (aircon isnt cooling as it should) i'll go and lay down for a while. As i hadnt been downstairs since this morning i didnt realise it was so hot down there so ive got that aircon on as well.

**reganelizabeth** · January 14th, 2008, 01:55 PM

Kass - I didn't really feel guilty going clubbing, I just didn't have any interest in it. Most of the guys were just sleazy and it seemed most of the girls were just looking for guys. I'd much rather be home with my little man and DP. Or just go shopping with friends or have dinner etc. It's pretty hard though cause all the friends I had were still really interested in clubbing and stuff.
And as to your silly inlaws.. It's quite sad how some Australians think it's ok to say things like that. But I'm sure your daughter will be proud of her heritage. There's sooo many italians in Australia, espesh. Melbourne, that she won't feel ostracised or anything.
Cate - is everything ok?

**reganelizabeth** · January 14th, 2008, 01:57 PM

Joanne - OMG it is muggy today. We live on the second floor - WITHOUT air conditioning. We've got ceiling fans and floor fans everywhere and it's still hot. I was so excited when I saw it raining this morning - so over these water restrictions.

**rustygirl** · January 14th, 2008, 02:33 PM

Should I be worried? Our new place in Bracken Ridge doesn't have any aircon!! UURRGGHH!! Scared now!

**Kazmar** · January 14th, 2008, 02:41 PM

Yeah no i dont miss clubbing at all im just not interested anymore and when i c my m8's with no bubs they always try and get me 2 go and must think its coz i have a bubs but thats not the case, i just dont want 2. The thing is, it's clints birthday on friday and some of our m8's bubless want us 2 go out. Prior 2 this i had said 2 clint lets go away 4 ur birthday just u and ur girls and he was all excited. Then as soon as he heard about clubbing it seemed 2 me asthough thats what he wanted 2 do. But i didn't say anything i just let him make his own mind up so i could c how important Bella and i were 2 him. Then without me saying anything he said "I dont want 2 go out, i wana spend the weekend with weasel and u." (Weasel being Bella, hes always called her that.) So I was so happy! But i know the time will come when he wants me to go clubbing with him, so i have 2 find him some m8's with bubs. The poor guy has no with bubs.

**JCE0810** · January 14th, 2008, 03:28 PM

Regan- i know the weather $uck$!!. Wish it would make up its mind whether its going to rain, be sunny or hot & humid seriously this 4 seasons in one day is starting to pi$$ me off!!!!!!.

Nina- cant you ask the Army to have aircon fitted to the house as 1/your pregnant and 2/you'll have a newborn soon??, cant they be accomdating??

This baby is all out at the front at the moment, NOT comfortable i can tell you. She was all out at the front yesterday too but nothing like she is now.

**Early Kids** · January 14th, 2008, 03:42 PM

I definately dont miss clubbing! I went 3 times when I was 18 and obviously before DS and each time I saw someone be stabbed.... i didnt want to be in that situation again so gave up... its not my scene! LOL

Hope everyones good. Big Hugs Cate

take Care