:yeahthat:

... thank you Dianne, i was thinking the same thoughts but i didn't know how to put it into words !!

I know it is hard to swallow but as Dianne has mentioned it's so true, even though someone is our sibling they are under ' no ' obligation to help us (sad but true )

Sue it's clear you can't so far get past your brother not giving or at least offering you help when it was very much needed ... he seems to be far too caught up in his own world and i can't see how after all this time that will change. For you it's doesn't mean you have to accept this but for your own sanity you need to just see how things are and the sort of person your brother is and for you not to put anymore of your energy into something that won't change.

If your children have used the word " hate " towards to describe how they feel about their own Uncle ... and you have described maybe some dislike towards your own brother well i think it might be time to cut the ties (i understand easier said then done, i know from experience) ... Is their a reason why you can't ?? Because clearly he is causing you all some level of discomfort or grief on some level ... think of it this way because he is your brother you are under no obligation to ' have ' to be in his life and he in your's & your children.

Do you have strong ties/relationship with his wife or children ?? ... Is that the of one of the reasons you are still in contact with him ?? (So sorry just guessing here)

Sue is there anyway you can get past your brother not helping you whether it be past, present or future ? ... and Do you actually ENJOY being in your brother's company ??

Sue we are only here to help and not judge you i so hope you believe that

Hugs to you again Sue xOx