hip mummy - this has been going on way before our newborn came along. It was actually worse, when she was 2-3 I slept on the couch so he could sleep with her in the "big bed" - our bed. I did that for a year! sheesh! Great point on kids not wanting to feel different - which is what goes through my thoughts alot especially with the new bub - I just want to treat them both the same, with a little bit more special attention for 6 yo due to fact she doesnt see her dad for half the week - but that said - im afraid admitting there is like a "flaw" with her life (by giving her special treatment - in the form of priveledges and treats etc) would only make the situation worse because she could someday realise shes being compensated for - She actually has a huge extended family who adore her to bits - I dont think she is too hard done by when it comes to love and affection - only because she doesnt see dad every day which is not to be sneezed at at all....This is a hard situation...

nothing 2 lose - good point on being aware of the difference between her and her sibling - we think about that alot - as above - where do you draw the line and find a happy balance between spoiling and giving special privldges to soothe the differences.
That said, 6 yo has a great life in the way of lots of family and always doing something different with mum or dad and thier extended families. Our newborn wont have that kind of experiences.