I agree I am not the same person I was before LTTTC. I will never be. I know exactly what you're talking about n2l despite it now being 6 years ago that I went through it, despite not personally wanting any more children.

One of the reasons I took an extended break from Belly Belly was, being a mod of the LTTTC forums, I could not let go of how my infertility defined me, and at that time, I really felt like I needed to, in order to move on emotionally. I had had a child, via IVF, and still I felt all the grief, the injustice, the trauma (and I so agree with that word) of having to go through what I did to have him. It sounds so stupid to say that since I did have a child, but strangely enough, that doesn't heal you, I honestly don't think it ever will. It doesn't revert you to the person you have been forced to become.

Having said that, I don't think the person I became is a bad person. I am more proud of the person I am today that I would ever be of the person I was before I struggled with infertility. But there are times, more than I care to admit, that I wish I hadn't had to feel what I did, to experience what I did, to get there.

Today I don't feel like my infertility defines me. But it is part of the fabric of my entire person, and makes up who I am.