N2L I think you have said beautifully what some of us feel but dont know how to write it to make sense.
It definitely changes you and I can relate to do much of what you write. I know for me getting a bfp will just be the first step, as last time it was short lived like many other beautiful women in here.
With all my heart I hope that this journey brings you that much wanted baby, you bring a world of strength and advice to us all and can only hope that in some small way we all help you with your struggle as well.
Once again, beautifully written words expressing your true feelings and emotions xo