Thankyou for this thread. Until you go through it you just couldn't imagine how hard it is.

Early on, the timed sex - forcing yourself to have sex when you didn't want to. This is destructive in itself.

Watching everyone around you get there so easily. Having to tell everyone that you just aren't interested in having kids yet to hide the fact that you are having problems, when on the inside you want nothing but a baby. Keeping that dirty little secret.

The invasive procedures of IVF. The transfers would always cause me great stress as the invasiveness would bring up some issues I have. Being utterly traumatised at the point where you should be having a great time with your husband in bed is not a great way to start a pregnancy.

The fear of the pregnancy, not wanting to sneeze in case you hurt the baby that you'd fought so hard for.

The lack of trust in your body/nature and the dependence on high intervention doctors because that is what you're used to.

The fear that the hormones that you pumped into your body will cause you cancer or something down the track and take you away early from the kids that you worked so hard to conceive.

The fear that the artificial conception has left your children vulnerable to birth defects/other problems.

The fear that in using IVF you have bypassed nature and caused your own beloved children the same heartache that you've gone through.