incomplete, I feel your heartache & your pain, sweets xxx

I think that this situation is different for all of us - so perhaps there is no real advice that I can give you as to how to go about it... everyone will react in their own way - and you just can't help the way you feel... feelings happen all on their own & we just aren't in control of them

To give you a little idea on me - we've been through 7yrs of TTC through IVF (6 full cycles & countless surgeries in between)... and in the time we started trying for a baby we have watched over 12 babies been born through friends/family while we were going through IVF after IVF, etc etc.
In most cases, the couples that were having children hadn't even met when we had started trying for a baby, so we watched them go through meeting/engagments/weddings & then babies while we were trying... most of them have gone on to have 2 children now..... it rips your heart out & you just can't explain the agony to anyone that hasn't been in your position xxx

I do feel in your situation that your SIL & husband were a little insensitive coming over tobring you the news.... especially knowing what you've been though so far with no result
In their defence though, I completely agree with Anney... they have been through their own battle (shorter & smaller than yours) - but they are probably oblivious to your complete feelings, because they just have no comprehension as to having done it as much as you (if that makes sense?)

I have found on my TTC journey that people honestly just do not have ANY comprehension of what you go through - and you talk to people who have been through it once or twice, and although you can feel their heartache, they still have no idea on what its like for someone like yourself who has been through multiple attempts.

I resigned myself to the fact that people are just ignorant - and I don't mean that in a nasty or petty kind of way - but in the true sense of the word ignorant.... being that they are completely clueless & just have no idea.
And how could they? They haven't been here

I have no real advice for you except in terms of your husband - however yucky it came to be, you guys managed to connect on a way you haven't previously in terms of talking about his feelings... and thats a major breakthrough.
Honestly, its so hard to get men to talk about how they really feel about anything let alone something as emotional & sensitive as an issue like this.
It will help you to get through further attempts - I honestly believe the true test of a solid marriage/partnership is a few cycles of IVF treatment
Congratulate yourselves on getting to where you are - and doing it together.

As far as Christmas etc goes - just do what you feel you're capable of.
I went through countless family functions listening to family members talk of their excitement & then watch babies unfold afterwards - some times I got through it & sometimes it was too much.
On those times I just didn't go - you have to be true & kind to yourself & part of that is realising what you can handle at that point in time. What might be too hard today may be ok tomorrow & vice versa.... so just take each situation as it comes & do what you are capable of.
Nobody has to understand it or accept it - once again, how could they if they're not going through it - so you do whats right for yourself to make it through xxx

My very, very best wishes to you & your husband for achieving your dream.... it CAN happen - after 7yrs of working hard & incredible sacrifices, my almost 11week pregnancy can offer you some hope that it can happen for all of us long timers

I can also suggest that a read through the TTC journals on BB may help you out as well - there's a lot of girls in here who haven't done it easily - but are either still in the process or have just made it - very inspiring & also makes you incredibly hopeful as they're not just girls that have been through it once & were lucky

All of my best wishes on your TTC journey - and stay strong & be kind to yourself xoxoxo