Incomplete, for you and DH. I too think your SIL and her partner were insensitive to lump that on you without considering how hard it would be for you to hear. A simple phone call would have been more sensitive, without any fanfair.

Your post made my quite teary. I know that anger and rage very well, and it is completely natural and normal. I had three colleagues announce their pregnancies within 6 weeks of each other - two of them hadn't even been trying. I said "congratulations" and walked away whilst everyone else stood around talking about it. I nearly choked on my tears and my anger, and had a complete meltdown that night. At the time it seemed like I was over-reacting, but it's such a primal and deep feeling of need, desperation, frustration, anger and confusion - why them and not us?

Stay with your feelings and feel what you feel. Don't try and justify them or make excuses for them. And take the time you need before putting yourself in family situations that make you upset. Your SIL should understand, after what she's been through, and I hope she and your other family members do as well.

I wish you and DH all the best. There are no quick-fixes. Take care of yourself and DH, and surround yourself with supportive people.

Thinking of you.