Yes it's OK for them to walk on eggshells around you. But better still is to tell them what you need, because then there can be no confusion, and the heartache is lessened for you all. Plenty of people have given me great advice (I've had some rough times with ppl close to me having unplanned pgs and giving me all the details - I ended up hiding under my desk and sobbing one day) but that is the best. Talk, if you can manage it, write if you can't. Let them know exactly what you need. "I am happy for you and I want the best for you (because you do, you know it.) but I'm really having trouble expressing it right now because of...... [whatever]" to let them know what you need, maybe also include something like "What will help me the most is if you just keep it to the basics. I'm having trouble dealing with the details - it just reminds me of our struggle and makes me quite emotional"

I know you have those nasty thoughts - I think we all do, but some don't want to admit it, even to themselves. I had them about a friend, when she announced number 4. But then 4 weeks later she lost that baby and I was so so so so sad. Turns out I didn't actually want that to happen, not to anyone. The thought may cross your mind, but it's not genuine, it's just a manifestation of the hard time you're having right now.

You'll make it through! You and your partner are on your journey, and it is hard work. If you're honest with everyone and tell them what to expect, and they can't handle it - well, they're the ones with problems, not you.