thanks scooby

well i got a bfn on the test i just done

is there any use me using my last pessarie tonight, seen as though not pregnant?

god i HATE THIS

the worst part is yet to come. i have to look my dp in the eyes tomorrow when he gets home and tell him that it is all over
i fear the look in his eyes cos the guilt that i feel, its cos of ME that he hasnt got a child yet, how can i make it better for him when all i do is bl**dy fail
he has so much trust in my body but yet i keep on failing, month after month and yet he is still here loving me?? i feel so bad.

i wish he was here right now, i am scared and i am angry and i am hurt. i wish i didnt have to be alone tonight

sorry about this