Friends and Family Supporting LTTTCers

[briggsy's girl]

** Warning PG mentioned **
Shari - sorry to say this, but your friend's issues aren't about LTTTC - her reactions (and her DP's) aren't typical of a long termer - there are many other issues in there. as much as you've tried, i will, as a long termer, step up and say you can't help them any more if they aren't willing to help themselves! it really does sound like she is a toxic person as you mentioned, and as much as there may be some jealousy from her that she hasn't succeeded in taking a pg further than she has, she also needs to take responsibility for her own actions and stop taking things out on you

as to her comments re scans - sorry - but she has NFI! the ONLY scan that is considered a must is the morphology scan, which they do between 18 and 22 weeks - NOT at 24 weeks. she's talking out her butt. obviously she thinks cos she has had early losses, she knows everthing - and she doesn't. your next scan will be around the 20 week mark (give or take) and between now and then you need to surround yourself with positivity support wise.

as hard as it is, you have to STOP assuming her behaviour is related to LTTTC and start assuming it is just HER. you've done all you can within your power to try to do the right thing by her and she has crapped on you. you deserve better than that!

i can't say whether your friend is or isn't defined as LTTTC - it's a fine line - but given her refusal to help herself in anyway, i'd be reluctant to classify her LTTTC in the same way i would someone who has gone through the hell of facing their issues, changing lifestyle, subjecting to tests, treatment etc. but that is more working on what i have read here kwim??

i guess i just want to remind all those trying to support someone that is LTTTC that you CANNOT support them to the point where it is detrimental to your OWN health, well being, happiness in your pregnancy. it's fantastic that you want to be there and support your friend, but at the same time, you also need to embrace what you have or you will never be truly happy and you will end up resenting the person who IS LTTTC - i really hope that makes sense. from my POV, as a Long Termer - i don't expect those more fortunate than me to quash their own happiness to protect me - i just ask that they understand my journey and respect me when i can't participate in their happiness at a particular time kwim??