I have heard there are quite a few books coming out at the moment about IVF and will be interested to know what they are about and read them. I have heard there are a couple of funny fiction ones too.

I personally don't think there is enough support provided for either partner in an IVF cycle (same sex couples included). From the perspective of the highly efficient, churn them through clinic it is a medical procedure that is highly managed and carried out. Medical information is given regularly to the couple or individual however in my experience and talking with others on BB and elsewhere very little of this is explained or interpreted in advance or at the time and we are left constantly wondering what this 'information' means for the cycle and what we should think of how we are progressing and how this effects our chances. In terms of coping with the emotional side of it for both partner there isn't as much available as I would have expected in 2007, 20+ years into the AC technology. Sure with my clinic a couple of sessions with a fertility psychologist is thrown in if you want to use it, but she is overworked and hard to book into, so if either partner has a crisis during the cycle and need to get a psych perspective or assistance this can be near impossible, which just adds to your stress. Also I find that the clinic nurses, who are easier to access for assistance, are already overworked and not necessarily trained to deal with both of our emotional responses to a cycle. It is not really part of their job description (although my clinic's nurses are wonderful and do their very best to help).

In my experience a FS always want to talk about the specific medical details of your and your partner's case but not stray into how this is affecting you both and the decisions you need to make along the way. We are on our own here. Sure this is not necessarily their role but where else can you sometimes ask or discuss these issues at the moment.

From my DH side, I asked him and the hardest thing for him is watching me go through all the uncomfortable procedures and hormones, and there is little for him to do but offer me support. He said it would be great for him to have a partner's support group to use if he needed it.

For me, I would like the clinic to put more emphasis and even awareness raising on the things you may need to think about, cope with or face during a cycle. It isn't just a medical procedure, it is a life changing journey which many others being churned through are also undergoing so more support and recognition of the importance of this aspect to an IVF cycle is important.

Thanks for raising the topic Cailin.

dusty