Interesting thread and I'm glad to see the interest in it, particularly as I am a bloke going through IVF at the moment with my wife. I contribute a fair bit in the LTTTC/AC thread.

Mikael's situaton is very similar to mine as far as the percentage of malformed sperm are concerned, but I wouldn't describe my/our emotions in the same way. Yes it has been difficult at times, and yes I definitely have felt inadequate and to blame for the situation we find ourselves in, but for the most part our life has continued fairly much as normal throughout the first treatment cycle and we have remained positive and generally happy. It has been hard watching my wife have to take all the needles and all the poking and prodding, but most people have some hiccup in their life to deal with and this is ours. My wife has been extremely supportive and doesn't blame me at all. I'm just thankful that science has progressed to the point where we have the opportunity have our own children. We didn't require ICSI and ended up with 4 good quality blastocysts. The first transfer didn't work so we're both looking forward to getting on with the next one.

I don't agree with this statement: "We stand over in the sperm-donor corner, knowing that our less than perfect sperm could be replaced by the high IQ sperm of a Nobel Prize winner at a moments notice." as I feel it misrepresents the process that occurs in dealing with male factor infertility, and the steps taken before reaching sperm donor stage. In fact, most men who produce some sperm have a reasonable chance of creating a baby through current ART, even those with very low counts and very high abnormalities (TZI rating).

Something I have noticed throughout our foray into AC is that much of the focus is on the woman, even when in our case, the problem lies with me. Even our initial consultation with the nurse was basically me riding as a passenger with most instruction being directed at my wife. I've also noticed amongst my mates that none of them have any idea about MF issues, and have the belief that, generally speaking, infertility is the domain of the woman.

I'm pleased Mikael has written this book and ventured into relatively unchartered waters. I'll be very interested to see how this thread progresses.