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Thread: Long Term TTC & Assisted Conception - May 2007 #2

  1. #37

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    Big big hugs for you Lou. You know I'm thinking of you and always here for you.

    Hugs also for Sonya and Ellie, you all deserve so much better than this.


  2. #38

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    Hi Girls... I dont know many of you - although I feel like I do - we are all going through the same thing!?!
    Just wanted to say hi to BW and BG... I also want to give out a couple of hugs to all you girls who have gotten some pretty rotten news this week - Sezjm - you are SO right... everyone here deserves a lot better that all of this. My question - why is it so damn hard??

    I havent posted for a couple of days, I was waiting for my AF so that I could ring to make an appt to start injections for my first round of IUI. AF arrived right on cue - day 28... so I am going to the FS tomorrow to have a 'dummy' run of the injections and will actually start giving them to myself on Monday evening... im very nervous, scared, excited and anxious! One thing that I feel a bit confronted by atm is DH. He has asked me not to tell anyone 'when' we start all of this. He said that he doesnt think it would be a good idea to put that added pressure on ourselves incase it doesnt work. How does everyone else's partners feel about it? xx

  3. #39

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    HI Karena

    every DP is different in what they will discuss and who they'll discuss it with. My DH is mostly pretty reserved unless he's in a convo with me, and then he'll put his two cents worth in - but tonght he came home from the pub and told me that a mutual friend (who's daughter went through IVF a few years back) asked how things were going and so he gave him some generic info (which surprised me - he usually just goes "yeah, we're getting there") - neither one of us really lets people know where we're at, but some people know we're cycling and we're both ok with that. DH has just told his boss we're "going through ivf stuff" so that if he says he can't work, he's not asked why. i've done much the same with my bosses at work - they asked today how the whole ivf thing was going, so i just said i was feeling like a bit of a science experiment cos nothing seems to be going right - and that i'm now so used to the injections that they really are just a non-event - turns out my direct manager and his one-up are both chicken-s**t scared of needles and freaked out! hehehe, will teach them to ask me questions on the spot!

    as for whether to share - i honestly believe it helps to have at least one close real life person that has a bit of an idea where you're at (not just us bb girls!) - not specifics (or they ask questions about whether you've found things out or whatever) - but just so if something gets you down, you've got someone to go and have a cuppa and a cry with - mine is my SIL and i'd be lost without her (even when she lived on the other side of the country - if i was having a bad day, i'd ring, we'd both make a cuppa and sit there having a chin wag!). hubbies are very different and don't like to share as much - i think their hurt manifests more as humiliation and disappointment and they don't want their mates to know that things aren't working - guess it's a pride thing!

    please don't think i'm saying it won't work though hun! just expressing the way DH's attitude comes across. fingers crossed that things go brilliantly for you - i'm on day 3 of needles so i'll be a few days ahead of you hun - we won't exactly be cycle buddies, but i can lead the charge for us if you want!!!

    must away - having typed this i realised it's time to go introduce some more synthetic hormones into my belly - good luck hun
    Last edited by briggsy's girl; May 11th, 2007 at 09:13 PM. Reason: i can't spell for anything!!! oops

  4. #40

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    Thanks BG. I totally understand WHY DH doesnt want people to know exact details or exact dates for that matter. I have just found it really difficult lying to those people who know we are seeing a specialist by telling them we wont be starting treatment for another couple of months. I broke today, told my best friend who lives in Perth. I had to! Obviously my MIL and my Mum know aswell - but sometimes I feel like they just dont understand - they are almost a little old fashioned and just say "oh, well you will be fine darling.. blah blah blah". I just know that if it doesnt work or if it does and then I M/C - I will need a shoulder to cry on, other than my DH's!

    What I would love for you to tell me is what the blood test is for after 6 or so days of injections? Do they check your levels to see if you are about to O? Then how many days after that do they do an U/S or even do the 'procedure'? Im being impatient - I am sure the Dr will tell me tomorrow when I go for my appt to pick up my needle friends (or foe's)...

    Anyway - hope the injections arent hurting you too much - you mentioned you were a bit sore the other night! Hope you are feeling better! Glad we are 'kind of' going through this together... it feels good to bounce off someone! Have a good night!

    K xx

  5. #41

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    OMG - i just had this post finished and lost the lot - so not impressed

    ok - firstly - needles are not gonna hurt at all - well, i can't say not at all, but nothing more than a mozzie bite once you're used to them. i find the area around the injection site just gets sensitive after the injection - more a kinda heightened almost ticklsh feeling than anything else. i think the pain i mentioned was a bit of niggling around my right ovary (which is also the side i got the cramp on last night, so maybe it was totally un-ttc related muscular issues...)

    as for day 6 blood test, they'll test your blood estrogen levels to check if they're within "normal" limits. if you're responding corectly you'll probably be called in for an u/s to check the number and size of your follies - you might be asked to have a couple more days of shots before trigger, or it might be administered straight away. it will all depend on how you're progressing - hope would be that you'll get great levels and have trigger on day of U/S (remember, my experiences are so totally out of the norm - BW and I have those warning messages "WORST CASE SCENARIO"!!!)

    i don't think telling your friend was a bad idea - it's really difficult to go through this in isolation and it's so much easier to share with someone a little more emotionally detached than mum or MIL. my mum knows we're going through some treatment, but never knows what or when for the simple fact that it's hard for her to stay objective when i need a shouder to cry on - if things don't work out, then it's an opportunity for a grandchild that SHE has missed out on, not a failed cycle that WE have gone through - it may not be the case with you and your mum/mil (my mum is probably a little more selfish than other people - the angels that SIL and I lost were a loss of a grandchild for her, and she lost sight of the fact that it was US that had actually gone through the loss iykwim?? sorry, big vent - rather grumpy at her in general!)

    take care hun, good luck with picking everything up - and if you need some advice at any point, feel free to drop me a message (here, my journal or the email addy in my profile!)

  6. #42

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    :hugs: Ellie I hope things are looking better for you now
    Welcome Karena I hope you find all the support you are looking for to get through this journey. Some people do just understand more than others.

    I have been MIA for a little while. We finally have decided to put things on hold until July. Mainly so we can save up for IVF/ICSI and pay off some bills. We are trying to reduce the things that stress me the most. Its been a hard decision to make but I also needed the time to work things out. I have been mostly trying to keep myself together and havnt had a lot left over to support others which is very unlike me.

  7. #43

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    Ok this is nuts my bb are so frigging huge and sore! they normally go really saggy once af has arrived, which was yesterday and full forse today.

    *TMI*
    ive had a lot of clotting today and really bad headach, feeling very $%!& this arvo

    trying to keep up fluids

  8. #44

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    Ellie, lots of hugs, thinking of you...

    Lou, ouchies at the sore BB's! Hope the pain disappears soon.

    BIG hello to everyone else, hope you are all well

    Only 3 weeks and 6 days until our FS appointment. Just a question, I made the appointment in my name only, but the GP is getting DH's 2nd SA results forwarded onto the FS. Do you think I should have made the appointment in both our names? Or should I just ring and say that there will be some results arriving for my DH?

    Of course I only just thought of this and the FS is on holidays up until a few days before we see him. Hmmm, might have to ring on Monday and see if anyone is there or not?

    DH is wanting to do his 2nd SA on Friday. We will have to drive the 75klms to get it to the "collection centre" and I have to call before hand as well. Will try to call them on Monday to first confirm it's ok to take it up there and then see if I need to re-call on Friday. Sometimes living no where near certain facilities is the pits!

    Nic

  9. #45

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    Hi Girls...
    BG - thanks for that advice! Today was really interesting - the appt with the FS (well, the Nurse). They gave me a 'dummy' injection - so now I know what to expect for the next week (minimum). It didnt hurt - thankgod! I left the appt with a bit of a headache though - its a lot of information to take in! Ive got the pen with the Pergeron, another injection incase I dont ovulate and another 2 injections for after they do the insemination... (which you already know because you are doing it too - DUH!)
    Hubby and I felt so weird walking out of there with our cold pack of 'goodies'!!
    Anyway, bring on Monday evening - I just want to get to Saturday now to see how everything is going!! What day do you go for your blood test or U/S?? xx

  10. #46

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    hi girls

    Nic - i'd just ring the clinic and let them know DH's name and that some results will be sent to them - with my clinic, they've got DH's name on my file too. and yeah - living in the middle of nowhere sucks sometimes (although we only have to go about 30km's to the path lab for bt's or SA, we have to travel over 100km to the clinic for procedures - and that means we're too far away for DH to do his "thing" at home!)

    Lou - so sorry AF is being a wench to you - she never does what she should be doing! hope the pain has settled down. no idea re the bigger bb's - mother nature is obviously playing havoc for you

    karena - glad you found the injection ok this morning - it's really not too bad. i have the little esky pack in the fridge with everything in it - and so far (13 weeks since we first got it), no one that has been to the fridge has even noticed! weird! obviously no one finds it odd that we have an esky bag in the fridge (either that or our friends/family are really unobservant). the info about the needles can be really confusing - i'd suggest you grab a display folder for treatment sheets and injection info - i'd be lost without mine! i just put each new protocol sheet in the folder and then take that and my treatment diary with me to appointments. i have the puregon pen and a heap of vials of puregon (i'm on a fairly high dose now so go through a vial every three days) - also the pregnyl trigger shot and two booster shots - was told i didn't need to have the booster shots as i could use progesterone pessaries - but i don't have an issue with the needles - and the pessaries are something like $3 per day or something.... because of the protocol i'm going through, i'll also be given another type of injection following the U/S to stop me ovulating until the FS is ready for it - so after tuesday's U/S i'll be doubling up and getting two needles each night! (i'm SO glad that i have no fear of needles - although after all of this, i'm sure i'm going to be a little wary of them at some stage - it will be that whole "not again" syndrome!). good luck with it all hun

    as for me - day four of injections and feeling a little heavy in the lower tummy - not sure if it's ovarian nigglings or not. have lots of muscular ouchies in general tonight after a very busy day in the garden, so i'm not prepared to say whether one ovary is responding more than the other or anything like that. i have to admit though - i have really sore bb's tonight - and it's been going through my head wondering if it's related to the meds or to the work in the garden... oh well, only time (and an invasive u/s) will tell how my body is respponding - but in all honesty, i think i feel better about it all this time. i'm just having a more positive feeling in general this time around...

    plus we cracked an egg this morning and it was a double yolker, so i'm hoping that's a good sign of things to come... mum used to say it meant there were going to be twins born in the family... mentioned that to DH, so that's the egg that went on my plate for brekkie!

  11. #47

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    Just quickly - im starting to go cross eyed im so tired...
    I just had to say - BG - thats so cute about the double yolker! Love it!
    Lots of luck for u/s ...
    Its good to feel positive isnt it? My MIL came over today and she said - "I wouldnt get your hopes up too much for the first cycle.." Why not? What is the point in being negative about it before you even start????
    Here's to being positive I say!!

  12. #48

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    Thanks BG Will give them a call Monday. What a pain that you have to travel over 100klms for your procedures! I can sympathise with the travel, our FS is 200klms away. (although we obviously haven't had any appointments yet) Our PHI pays for travel over 180klms return, so we get little bit of fuel money too.

    Nic

  13. #49

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    hmmm, maybe i should check our PHI for the travel thing - could be interesting - i've had so many visits to docs and dentists that are at least that distance just getting there let alone return!!

    i'm kinda in two minds about whether to feel really positive karena - it's great to hold onto hope - but just remember that first time out it is a bit experimental to see how your body responds.i've managed to stay positive through all of the ups and downs of the actual treatment because i believe EVENTUALLY it will work - and how are we going to find the RIGHT combo if we don't experiment first? i hope that makes sense hun! like you, i'm a little tired at the moment so i might be waffling a little!

  14. #50

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    Dropping by to give my greetings and love to you all.

    There's been some major chart obsession happening here over the last few days, but I've started spotting - AF will be here tomorrow, I'm sure. Feeling decidedly low about Mother's Day being the day I have to call the clinic to start my FET cycle. Feeling pretty excited about the fact that I first of all ovulated, and secondly managed to maintain a decent length luteal phase. I think I still have the utter terror of the transfer though... not the actual process itself, but more that this could be what actually gets me pregnant. I'm really not sure if I'm more scared of it working or not working. I'm not sure if that makes any sense at all, but that's what's running through my head at the moment.

    Nic, our clinic does everything for both of us together. We have one big file with both our names on it. Probably would be a good idea to call them and let them know that some results for your husband will be coming in, and what his name is, so they know that information goes with you.

    Sending big, big hugs to Ellie and Lou. I'm sorry that I can't help out in your situations, but I am thinking of you both.

    And a very special for Summer. We all understand that some times you just need our support and can't offer much in return. We've all been there before at one point or another. Do what you need to do for yourself. I hope you manage to work through things and find your way back to yourself.

    Apart from the chart obsession that's been happening, work has been insanely busy. I'm feeling very run down and drained. I need to take a day off to just relax and recover, but I just haven't been able to. Getting a sore throat and stuffy nose now, so something's gotta give somewhere!. I have Tuesday off work to take DH for his varicocele embolisation, but we have to be at RPA at 8am, so there's going to be no sleeping in there! Have spent today cleaning up as my parents are coming to stay next weekend... it will be good to see them, but I realised I'm going to be on the letrozole while they are here - experiencing the hot flush hell! Maybe the second cycle won't be quite as bad. We can hope! So not looking forward to all the early mornings and blood tests for the FET cycle... if I haven't collapsed in a screaming heap before that starts, I think I will very soon after!

    BW

  15. #51

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    Hi Ladies

    Ive been a little MIA lately ive been reading everything but just not posting strangely detached i dont know this cycle is really strange..

    We are 7 days into the TWW andi dont have a clue feeling sick and tired and just blahh.
    A lot more practical this cycle and less emotional and it feels really nice not to be on pessaries or crinoine and just let my body do its thang! MOthers day is sucking though... spending a lot of time wondering if our little emby is sticking like i want it to..

    Oh well

    So sorry to hear your news Ellie & Loula hope you are both ok..

    Summer - completely understand the saving if this FET cycle doesn't work we are going to have to pull the money from somewhere to go with another IVF/ICSI cycle, though the new rebate on ICSI will be nice!

    Karena - Welcome!!

    Melbel - Hope the Lap went well! Thinking of you

    BG - Good luck it must be nice to be back on track again! Id definately go with the bosster shots we did for this FET and i feel so much better than last time!!

    BW - Good Luck with the FET cycle!

    Talk soon
    S

  16. #52

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    It's CD1 and I need to call the clinic... but making phone calls stresses me out. If I can't predict the way the phone call will run, I tend to panic and freeze and end up delaying the call for ages and ages...

    So... I need to call the clinic... but what do I tell them? My cycle information sheet just says ring on the first few days of your period. Nothing else! The handbook from the clinic says to call my fertility care nurse on day 1 and they will advise me of t he next steps. I've never been assigned to one particular nurse, and I still can't think what to say.

    I have the direct number to the nurses, but when they are busy (as they often are on weekends) that often diverts to reception. I just feel really odd starting a phone call with "Hi, I'm Butterfly Warrior and I just got my period"

    I know it's really, really silly to be so stressed out and scared of a simple phone call!

    BW

  17. #53

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    BW - i'd be calling up and saying, "hi, this is BG, and i was askedto call to sign on for my next cycle of FET" - they're going to know what it means anyway hun, and it's much easier than telling a complete stranger AF is vsiting

  18. #54

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    True... it's amazing just how much stress will stop clear thought processes. "This is BW, and I'm calling to start my FET cycle" sounds good... And then it doesn't matter if I get a nurse, or a receptionist. Feeling less stressed, but still pretty damn nervous!

    BW

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