Saffy, I know it's terribly hard - I'm sure your friend means well but she just has no idea. It can be very hard for women who have no problems TTC to understand the complexity of the problems we face - if only relaxing would grow back or unblock our tubes, or unstick our ovaries, or fix our low egg reserve, or push our biological clocks backwards, or give us the extra $$ we need for IVF, or fix our DH's sperm, or stop our immune systems attacking our embies, or our blood from clotting, or the million other things we all face in here. it is so upsetting and so damn frustrating! If it was that easy, don't they think we might have already tried it???!!! I hope your day at work is OK,
hi all, saffy-hugs,you were brave going to see her in the 1st place...alice-you need to do what is best for your heart,i've hid & avoided pregnant ladies,it is just too hard sometimes,maybe write down some responses on paper before the call...ferral-yes,i've heard about fluid leaking out,gyno & fs didn't seem to think this would be the case with me,i've got to speak to ivf nurse today,i think i'll ask her opinion as well...crafty-wondering??.afm-worrying about embie thawing tomorrow,heard some stories of people getting phone calls half way to clinic,told none have survived
MatthewsMum - thanks, I've had time to think it through now so feeling OK about it. My FS is likewise not concerned about there being fluid in the remaining blocked tube...I really don't know about it as other FS remove to avoid possibility of low level infections. I'd be careful asking the nurse coordinator as the nurses told me my grade 1 blasties didn't make it past day 3 because of the quality of my DHs sperm and when I told FS that he was categorical in saying that it wasn't correct...but because my DH still smokes, it really upset me to hear it, so sometimes it can just be confusing. Maybe better getting a second opinion from a different FS, which is something I've never done.
And don't you go worrying that none of your blasties will thaw - the thawing is much better now than it used to be and I only ever lost one to thawing out of 8 so the chances are very low you would loose them all - that's just understandable nerves and fear. All will be well with your little frosties, promise x And remember what I said to MurrayCod - my doc once said to me "you could have your whole family in the freezer"! Now that's a happy thought!! Hope you've got room in the house for nine more!!
Well I am here but not my usual happy self to be honest my eyes are so puffy I can hardly see the screen.
Well very nice guy and his female sideline but the news is not what I wanted to hear. Basically he went through the whole process of ageing and the egg difference between a 25yr old and a 45yr old ( as if I didn't know ) He then asked me if I had thousands of dollars I didn't need to spend on getting a 2% chance of getting pregnant
instead of a 1% that I have anyway ! He said a big fat NO to IVF for my age and with me having kids anyway.
He told me I can still get pregnant if I get a good egg but if and when I get one he couldn't tell me he suggested
DH take menevit and draw a line in the sand and not waste anymore money and get used to the fact my body may
not produce a good egg and I may not get pregnant again but its not impossible as I was pregnant last sept.
He offered me counciling as he said my miscarriage has really left a huge whole in my life but there was nothing
he could do to improve what is 45yrs old and its natures way really.
He told me to draw a line in the sand and step over it and embrace my comming years and not be so obsessed
with TTC and if a miracle happens then so be it !!!
I felt like I had just gone though my mc again all the tears and the hurt and realization that this really is it I have to
get to grips with it and accept 1% chance and then 50% to 70% chance of another miscarriage so trying really hard
to get my head around this but failing miserably need more time im afraid,
Saffy - I agree with Alice. It is so easy for people who don't have fertility issues to give "advise". I'm sure it's all ment with concern and a sence of trying to be supportive but you really get tired of the "advise". I had our QLD Operations manager tell me he only had to look at his wife and she got pregnant. This was just after I told him that I will be having time off for IVF and felt that as Management he needed to know. He then proceded to tell me all about his sister's fertility as well. I really don't care to hear that considering I know I have a problem. Geez.
Once we start IVF I will not be telling any family or friends about it. They ask too many questions and I found out that it is openly discussed with extended family on DH side. I'm talking about his cousin whom I really don't know and would definately NOT tell him and his wife besides the fact that he and his wife are pregnant and they feel "sorry" for us because they fell straight away. Well bully for them. Gee that turned into a bit of a story eh?
Matthews Mum - I'm sure it will all be fine. It's natural to worry. Good luck for tomorrow! I'll be checking in to see how you are.
Alice - I'm glad your feeling much better about it now. I think you needed to prepare yourself and how to react. I hope it all goes well. I'm sure you'll be sad when it's done but you are a very strong woman and we will be here for you to tough it out.
Crafty - Oh my. What a terrible thing to have to sit through and listen to. Take as much time as you need.
AFM not much. Did I mention I got a + OPK on Wednesday? Hmmm Can't remember and I can't go back a few pages lol Ahh well anywho I hope I O tonight as I usually O 2 days after a + OPK. I'm abit nervous actually cause I'm not 100% sure it was +. I'm hoping for a temp rise tomorrow to confirm but I really don't know. Doesn't matter I guess because its 3 days till our appointment.
Last edited by Porsche; June 18th, 2010 at 01:50 PM.
crafty-i'm so sorry,i'd look into the councelling ,i found it helpful,thanks for coming on and letting us know,give those kids of yours huge hugs,let them give you some of their strength which they have got from you.Remember he didn't say it was impossible,huge hugs
Crafty, it is so hard hearing things in cold hard statistics. I've often said to my DH is there anything else in life where you would spend this much money on the hope of such a small percentage of it working. But they are matters of the heart, and not so easy to quantify. I was also told I have a 50% chance of mc any pg I achieve...it is a stark fact to hear but again, inside me, I think that if it is a one in two chance then I've already had one so maybe next time will be different. Because we can't stop hoping - it is in our natures to hope. I think when miscarriage comes so close to the end our child bearing years, it has another dimension to it that makes it even harder to accept. I found counseling very helpful and I am still grieving, as you know that you are too. It will take a long time but like MatthewsMum said, hold onto those kiddies of yours, you are a beautiful mother, and let them give back to you some of the love you have given them in bringing them into the world. Thinking of you xxx
Saffy, I know it's terribly hard - I'm sure your friend means well but she just has no idea. It can be very hard for women who have no problems TTC to understand the complexity of the problems we face - if only relaxing would grow back or unblock our tubes, or unstick our ovaries, or fix our low egg reserve, or push our biological clocks backwards, or give us the extra $$ we need for IVF, or fix our DH's sperm, or stop our immune systems attacking our embies, or our blood from clotting, or the million other things we all face in here. it is so upsetting and so damn frustrating! If it was that easy, don't they think we might have already tried it???!!! I hope your day at work is OK, 
Well I am here but not my usual happy self to be honest my eyes are so puffy I can hardly see the screen.
xxxoooo
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