LTTTC Two Week Wait - May/June 2008

[Janie71]

HI Everyone,

Well I had a "moment" today (not good when you are at work)... just got all teary and had to go to toilet to pull myself together. The stress of these last few days is just starting to get to me. I really think that I will be clinically insane by the time it gets to my blood test! Nothing much else to report, feeling much the same. Still have a stuffy nose, but don't feel like I am getting sick. So I looked it up on Google (as you do when you are going insane in the TWW) and lo and behold it is a symptom of pregnancy for some women, albeit a weird one! Apparently it can happen to some people due to the increased blood flow. So I am hoping and praying that the reason my nose is stuffy is because I am pregnant , but you know how much we can all read into every little sign.

Apart from that, I have been to the toilet so many times today. Keep thinking that "something is happening" down there... Only think I have been finding is old Crinone, so that AF stays away from me for the next 9 months.

Janet, nice to hear from you... hope you are doing well and get to do you FET sometime in the near future.

Saph, look after yourself darls. Hopefully all the not feeling well is due to a beautiful little baby.

Wishingbaby, so sorry that this was not the month for you. that next time will be your time.

Paula, good to hear you have got an appointment with FS. Get your DH to take very good care of you and you do the same for him. It is a grieving process, so take your time and be kind to yourselves.

To Bel, Karly, Kaydee and Rustybeth and anyone else I have missed lots of

Janie xxx

[Bel]

Dear Janie- It's ok to have a meltdown..it happens to all of us. I'm expecting one over the next couple of days now that DH has gone away and I'm on my own at home. You are obvioulsy a strong women though, you have to be to go through this and I promise you'll get to next Wed without going insane. Doesn't feel like it now but you will. I'll be here for you. And I thought maybe the stuffy nose was a wierd pg sympton!!
Hope your afternoon gets better.

Hugs Bel

[nanananny]

"Keep thinking that "something is happening" down there... Only think I have been finding is old Crinone"

Same here :/

[Rustybeth]

Hello ladies!


JBM, thanks for the checking, I'm resting and trying to feel better.

Bel, I did get the Agarol and I expected it to be horrible. It has helped some but I still feel as though I'm behind the 8 ball on that issue. I am still about 4kg above normal weight, and suffering but doing better. The nurse said it was still ovarian inflammation and excess fluid in the abdomen.

The misc comments about "old Crinone" are quite timely for me as I have been *hoping* that is all I'm feeling.

I have only been working half days and I am really looking forward to the long weekend. DH will be away with a guy bonding trip so I will be able to rest freely, not worrying about what he's getting into here at home. I have an acupuncture appoinment on Saturday. I've been an acupuncture fan for years now, but due to other issues, I didn't get to do a lot of it for this IVF cycle. If we do have to do it again, I will make sure that I've got more of that happening to support the effort.

Finally, I found out I only got ONE bubsicle. The other five blasties didn't make the grade. It made me so sad when I heard. I doubt that one can survive the thaw. I have been having those Crinone induced spells of low self esteem and feelings of unworthiness and it's getting really hard for me to rationalise myself. I even cried for the last 10 minutes of House on Wed night. The only other time I've cried at TV was during Steel Magnolias. (Pitiful admission, yes?)

[Janie71]

Oh Rustybeth... I cried at the end of House too! Crinone really has a lot to answer for. I forgot that feeling down and unworthy are actually side effects... That makes me feel a bit better in some ways. I hope that you start feeling better over the weekend. It took me about a week before my ovary pain and bloating went away. For that first week everytime I sat down I felt like I was sitting on my ovaries they were that swollen!

Bel, thanks for your comments, you are a sweetheart.

Countryblue and Rustybeth, that Crinone is just horrible how it comes out...I guess it is a small price to pay if it does the job it is meant to!

Much love and to you all.

Janie xxx

[Karly]

Hello All

I'm going ok. Have had a number of meltdowns this week. The latest has caused me to quit my job.....though I am waiting til BT day to give my notice. I work at a dr's and I do nightfill so i decided if I quit now and I am pg I will look silly cos I will have to quit the nightfill job aswell. If i am pg i will prob end up staying at the drs even though I dont like it anymore. Everything is getting on top of me and at times I wonder why I put myself in these situations. Hopefully it will be worth it in the end. It is so hard to prepare for the phone call. I couldn't wait for Mon to come quick enough but now I am nervous about it. I cant sleep at night because I toss and turn because I usually sleep on my tummy but that is not very comfortable at the moment.

Well enough about me me me. How are you all going??? Who has the BT soonish??

My two week mark since iui was yesterday so Im on the home strech now....3 sleeps to go. If its bad news my mum is taking me to melb next Frin night for the weekend...we r in Perth...so that will cheer me up.

Take care girls and I hope you all have a great weekend. For most of you its a long weekend so enjoy.

Karly

[barney]

COULD I PLEASE JOIN YOU GIRLS
im on day 2 after transfer and not feeling well im so sore still.
i wish you all the very best with all your tww

[Bel]

Morning Ladies,

Hope you are all having a good day so far. Anyone going insane yet? I?m close and I?ve still got 5 sleeps to go. Man I?ll be mad by Monday. I?m now at the point where I am begging and praying when I go to the toilet. My mantra is..please no blood?please no blood!!

RustyBeth- Sorry to hear you are still not feeling well. I?d be going insane just from having that discomfort still if I was you. The agarol really worked for me after 3 days of taking it?and I can?t believe you don?t find it too bad. I was gagging!! Ooohhh acupuncture tomorrow. Am very jealous, I love my acupuncture. Make sure you tell them exactly what has been going on. I?m sure they?ll try to help you. And I?m really sorry to hear you are upset about having 1 bubsicles. I?m not going to so don?t be upset, cause I totally get it. What I will say though is that you are a lot luckier that a lot of other women. Some people don?t get any bubsicles, especially when you go to balstie, so you honestly have done really well .My best advice to you is to focus today on today. Don?t think about tomorrow til tomorrow comes. That?s how I get through this TTC madness. Just stay positive today that this cycle you will have success and you won?t even need to think about that bubsicle until you want your next baby. Stay strong, you are strong even to be embarking on this journey. We?re here for you.

Janie- Geez I didn?t even know that feeling down and unworthy were side effects of crinone. I?ll tell you a true story. I pulled the side effects brochure out of the box of crinone to read in bed one night and put it on my bedside table. It stayed there for 3 days unread and I through it out. I just thought?geez what other side effects could be thrown at me at this stage! Little did I know feeling down and unworthy was hidden in there somewhere! I should read all the side effects next time! Not long to go now and we?ll have our good news?hopefully. Enjoy your day.

Karly- I so so so get what you are saying about the phone call. I to am BUSTING to know but am dreading that phone call also in case of bad news?.See this is what I say about mind games, it just does my head in! I?m jealous you only have 3 sleeps to go. You just have a weekend to enjoy then you?ll be getting some good news I pray.

All my other friends, I hope you are doing well. Thinking of you all,

Hugs Bel

[Bel]

Hi Smithy- Welcome!! Glad to have you here. Sorry to hear you are still sore. Look after yourself and rest up as much as you can. I too was really sore this cycle but now am feeling great finally...that is physically!! Going a bit crazy but that's to be expected for me! Find this TWW one big mind game and I HATE mind games. I've got a couple of weeks off at the moment so I'm hanging round here if you need some-one to chat to. Stay strong,

Hugs Bel

[saph204]

Hiya everyone,
Yeah Smithy you finally made it here. Hope you are feelingbetter soon. As for Me I am completely shattered. Spent all night at the hospital with DS Oh my god I have never seen anything like it in my life. Projectile vommit. I am on my fourth load of washing of things covered in vommit. He is okay now just very tired. So hopefully i can have a sleep now too.

[Bel]

Geez Saph what a night. Hope DS is ok. Have a good rest when you get your washing done.

Hugs Bel

[Karly]

Hi Guys

Thanks bel. I hope your 5 sleeps go very quickly and you get that BFP.

I am having another moment. Just broke out in tears. Told DH he didnt care. I keep telling my kids off for things that wouldn't bother me. What is wrong with me???? I am just so upset and I know im worried about Mon but 3 more days is nothing to what I have waited. I am thinking about calling the clinic to see if I should see the counsellor but Im worried they will think I am a nut. I was a little moody and upset on Wed and again yesterday I was close to tears but today is worse again and the tears are here. AARHHHH. I feel like i only have you guys to talk to cos nobody understands. My family dont really get it cos they think I have 2 kids why go through all this.

Anyway sorry for the blog but I feel a bit better now

Thanks for being so understanding

[Bel]

Karly Sweets- I promise you are not alone in feeling like this and understand the way you feel about only having the lovely ladies here to chat to. I am so blessed though to have one very special TTC friend who has become my rock through all of this, but I couldn't annoy her all day..I'd drive her crazy!! So I annoy you all instead!

Ok...so about the counselling. Let's be honest here...why do you think a lot of clinics provide counselling?? It's because they KNOW we are going to need it. It is impossible to go through this alone and some of us, myself included need the help of a counsellor. They won't think you are weak or crazy for asking to speak to the counsellor. They'll think quite the opposite..that you are a very strong person to know that maybe talking to someone will make this easier for you.

Let yourself cry if you need to. It's perfectly healthy and normal. This is such stressful and emotional time for all of us. You are doing great. Be strong

Hugs Bel

[JBM]

hi all, well lots of crazy emotions happening here in TWW!
that damn crinone gel,i hated it. everything seems 100 times worse and your emotions are crazy!.
lets try to smile not cry!?
Bel, Carly, Rusty beth: counting down for you
Saph: must be something in the air.
one of my ds was vomiting other night too, not that bad but dh and i went out to dinner and movies. first time this year with no kids. while we were away ds started vomiting, we gave instructions over phone as this couple got no kids.
they lttc. maybe now they not ttc as our family has put them off
good luck to you all
janet

[Janie71]

Hi ladies! Well I am really looking forward to the long weekend, hoping that my DH will be able to find enough things for us to do to keep me distracted from the looming BT!

Janet, always lovely to see you... hope you are well. How are you progressing with your FET?

Karly, I had a moment yesterday too.. Damn Crinone!!! So know that you are not alone in the crazy stacks. Getting it off your chest here certainly helps.

Saph, your poor DS and poor you! What a night you had. Hope your TWW is progressing well.

Smithy, it is great to see you here! Hope you start feeling better soon... Most of my pain was gone within a week, so hopefully you will start to feel more like yourself soon.

Bel my BT partner, good to see you are well.

Well I told my DH about my meltdown yesterday and he was his normal wonderful self. He said that I need to let go of the stress as I have done as much as I can, everything from now is "in the hands of the gods". The way he worded everything was just perfect. He said that each day that I make closer to the blood test without getting AF I should be celebrating instead of stressing about if it is just around the corner... I guess he means for me to live in the now a little more and stop stressing about something that I cannot change. Of course that is all easier said than done, however, I've made a concerted effort to be grateful for making it to today and you know what, I feel so much better! We will see how it goes, we do have that nasty Crinone to compete with!

Anyhow, I hope you are all well. Lots of to you all. I hope you all have a great weekend and that we start seeing some BFP next week

Janie xxx

[Mon]

Wishing everyone all the best!
Paula hun, I am so sorry to hear about BFN hunny. Huge hugs! GL with your appt with the Prof. He is great and he will get you UTD - dont you worry. The chances increase the second time round! Huge hugs.
Smithy - hope you feel betta ... sticky vibes !
Mon

[barney]

thank you all for the warm welcome you girls are the best i hope your all having a great weekend.
me im going ok today just a lot of like bad period pains

[Bel]

Hi All,

Hope you are all being kept nice and busy this weekend so that it flies by. My DH is asleep after working last night so I'm catching up on some TV.

I'm doing pretty good. 4 more sleeps to go til BT. Just begging that witch to stay away. I am feeling pretty positive though. Said to DH last night I am staying very positive but I'm also a realist. I think it's a good balance. That way if I do receive bad news HOPEFULLY I won't crash and burn. Though I have to admit I'm not sure if I can deal with bad news again.. See what I mean when I say mind games!!! Grrrr!!

So have a great day and will chat soon. Thanks for all the hellos and kind words.

Hugs Bel