I'm nearly 20 weeks pg with our 2nd child, conceived 6 months after DS died. I still sometimes struggle with other people's pregnancies. There's nothing rational about it. It's grief and fear we'll lose this one too. Maybe there's resentment that other people can take for granted pregnancy = live baby.

I dont have a sister so dont understand that relationship. I can imagine if I had one who got pregnant within a month or 2 of my baby dying that I'd feel devastated. I dont know. As she lost her bub at 28wks, she was still living through the remaining 12 wks til her due date. It's a thing we do. It's perfectly normal. During the time she should have still been growing her baby, she was mourning her loss - the baby itself and the pregnancy. She would have been completely immersed in grief. There's not much chance she could be rational about it.

There may be other issues involved. This was her first, you're pregnant with your 3rd. Fear they may not be able to have a live baby. Previous history between the 2 of you.

You're not to blame for how she deals with her grief or for you lashing out at you. It's sad she's acting like you've done something to deliberately hurt her. It's not rational, it's grief and fear and jealousy and more grief. As if you'd conceive a much wanted, loved child to spite someone, let along your grieving sister. Maybe talk to your Mum about it. She's mourning her grandchild and grieving for her daughter. If you mention how hurt you are and you just want this baby to be loved as well. She'll come around.

I dont think you can do anything with your sister except give her time to grieve. Maybe write her a letter telling her you never meant to hurt her. That you're grieving for her etc. You can only put it out there. It's up to her how she deals with it. Dont be surprised if she never wants to have anything to do with your new baby. For her, s/he will be a constant reminder of what she's lost, through no fault of you or the baby.

I hope some of that helped a little with understanding.