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Thread: Miscarriage

  1. #1
    Gem Guest

    Default Miscarriage

    Hi, I'm 16yrs old with a boyfriend of 18yrs old. We've been together for nearly 2yrs. I have only just suffered a miscarriage and I am deeply upset and scared from what I experienced, I have got an appointment today with a nurse at the Hosptial, could someone please tell me what sort of things I will have to go through at the Hospital, I would be very grateful...


  2. #2

    Join Date
    Nov 2003
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    Welcome to BellyBelly, Gem. I'm sorry that you have to be here under such sad circumstances.

    Huge hugs to you. I'm so sorry that you've had to experience this. It's such a horrible thing to go through.

    Do you know how many weeks pregnant you were? You might have an ultrasound at the hospital to check what's remaining in your uterus. If you were only a few weeks along then they might just let you have a natural miscarriage rather than a D&C (dilation and curettage) which is a procedure done under general anaesthetic to make sure there's nothing left in you uterus.

    Keep in touch and let us know how you go.

    Thinking of you.

  3. #3

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    Gem

    First of all I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your little bub. I know it's no consolation but it is natural to feel upset and scared.

    When you go to the hospital, the nurse will probably talk to you and ask you some questions about the miscarriage. They'll be trying to work out whether everything's come away naturally or if it will need a little bit of help. They may need to do an ultrasound to check this. Sometimes they do one on top of your tummy, other times they do an internal one (while this is not comfortable and a bit embarrassing, it doesn't hurt).

    If it turns out you need help removing the remains of the pregnancy, they'll book you in for a D&C, which is when they put you under general anaesthetic and remove the remaining tissue that way. Because you're "asleep" this doesn't hurt either.

    Gem, be honest with the nurse and answer all their questions because they will be trying to help you.

    I hope you heal quickly, both physically and emotionally. You'll get a lot of support from the girls on these boards. Unfortunately, when it comes to miscarriage, you're not alone.

    Big hugs for you.

  4. #4

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    Gem - i am so sorry to hear of your loss - losing a pregnancy is devastating at the best of times - i know that you will be scared at the moment but do try to accept as much help as you can that is offered and don't listen to those who don't have a clue... they will be trying to help but only those who have been there can have an inkling of what you are going thourgh....

  5. #5
    Gem Guest

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    First of all I'd like to thank you all for your support and kindness. O xxx

    I was no more than 6 weeks pregnant. I had a natural m/c at home and i've been scared from what I saw and deeply upset. I didn't know I was pregnant and I didn't have any signs of pregnancy, although thinking of it now I had signs of a m/c, bleeding whilst not on my period, aches and cramps that were at times quite unbearable for me, but I never thought anything of it as I never knew I was pregnant.

    My boyfriend has been my rock throughout my whole experience, we've got a fantastic relationship for such young people. I've been crying a lot since the m/c and I keep thinking that I did something to cause it and I think that someone has picked on me by letting such a terrible thing happen to me. My boyfriend reassures me that this isn't the case.

    Because I have suffered a m/c does this increase the chances of suffering another one when me and my boyfriend are ready to have children?

    Whats the recommend amount of time that I should wait until I have sex? Obviously I am not upto sex just yet.

  6. #6

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    Gem - Many people have suffered miscarriages and gone on to have perfectly healthy children afterwards. True, some do have miscarriages afterwards but in many of these cases, an actual medical reason can be identified.

    I'm sure there was nothing that you could have done to 'cause' the miscarriage. Many miscarriages end because the body has identified that the bub potentially has a genetic abnormality.

    I wish I could say that I understand but as I have not experienced a miscarriage myself, it would be unfair and insensitive for me to claim I understand how you feel. I will say however not to beat yourself up for crying and being emotional. You've obviously experienced a great loss that will take some time to heal. It's fantastic that you have such a wonderful man who is supporting you through your loss together.

  7. #7

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    gem - i am so glad that your BF is so supportive - i know its hard even when you are husband and wife to go through a miscarriage - even if it is an early one it still hurts.

    I spent a long time blaming myself - thinking of all the things i could have done differently - stupid things most of them too - like i now refuse to take out the rubbish - my cramping started straight after i did that... i still have a ticker going - of my due date - i would be 25 weeks by now... i made a scrapbooking page and wrote out everything in a diary... we all get through it in our own ways- not always entirely rationally either - it does help to talk about it if you can...we are all here for you if you need to vent a little ... hope that the hurting eases soon and you can begin to move forward...

  8. #8

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    Gem, I am so sorry tohear of your loss.

    You definitley did not do anything wrong, unfortunatley the fetus probably wasn't developing properly due to an abnormality and it is just the body's way of doing something about it.

    Just because you have been through one m/c does not mean you will ever have another one again.

    I can totally understand how you are feeling atm. You have definitley come to the right place for loads of support as everyone is so wonderful here. That is great you BF is so soupportive as you definitley need someone like that esp atm.

    Take Care & welcome to BB.

  9. #9
    Lee-Ann Guest

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    Hi Gem

    I'm so deeply sorry for your loss and I know how you feel. When I had my first m/c I thought I was being punished some how and I was trying to find reasons why it had happened. Some times there are no definitive reasons. It also doesn't mean you'll m/c again. Although I had another m/c there was a medical reason for it and now I'm pregnant again with a healthy baby.

    I'm not sure if there is much of a waiting time before you can have sex again, maybe just double check with your Dr/Nurse.

    Don't be too hard on yourself and take care. Also welcome to Bellybelly.

  10. #10
    Gem Guest

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    I decided I didn't want to be stuck in the house this weekend crying over my loss I want to get back to normal asap really although this may be selfish. So i've decided to take Richard to this nice pub for a meal and a drink, because I look a lot older than my age I can do this. O But i'd still be grateful if you girls can keep checking this post because I'm sure there are still going to be times when I get upset and need a shoulder to cry on whilst Richard is at work.

    Thank you all so much for you help. Lots of Love xx

  11. #11
    Melinda Guest

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    Gem,

    I know it's hard, but please don't be too hard on yourself - you did nothing wrong. I know that when these things happen, you automatically look for a reason as to why it is happening and of course you always end up pointing the finger at yourself.

    In terms of having another m/c - because you have had 1 m/c does not mean that you will necessarily suffer another. Unfortunately I suffered 2 in a row, but we were told that it was simply "bad luck" and both my husband and I had a whole range of tests done which all picked up absolutely no reason for the m/c's. After these 2 m/c's, I went on to have a successful PG - albeit stressful - and I now have a beautiful 13 month old son. So please don't lose hope that you won't one day have ya beautiful child/ren - I'm sure you will. Although I know it is hard to see that now when you are feeling so devastated by what you are going through now.

    As for having sex again, you should wait until the bleeding has stopped and then as long as you feel up to it, there should be no reason why you can't have sex. It's probably a good idea to check with your doctor though just to be on the safe side.

    Thinking of you Gem.......

  12. #12
    rarmalb Guest

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    HI Gem,
    I'm so sorry to hear of your m/c. Everyone here has given you wonderful advice. I hope the weekend has given you a bit of time to sort through your feelings.

    Make sure you talk to the staff at the hospital if you are unclear about anything- The more that you know about what is going on, and the procedures they may need to do, the more confortable you will feel.

    ALso, please don't beat yourself up about this. Unfortunately many women have m/c (I had a VERY early m/c), for MANY different reasons, even if they do ALL the 'right' things, and unless you are aware of any medical issues, you have a HUGE chance of having a H&H pregnancy in the future.

    Take care,
    R

  13. #13
    Gem Guest

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    This weekend cheered me up a lot and I feel that I'm on my way to being back to myself again, although I still cry about my loss I'm feeling better than the 14th sept.

    I want to thank everyone that took the time to give me advice and support during my experience, your all wonderful women and I'l always be checking on this website to see how you all are etc.

    Thank you so much.. O

  14. #14
    kirsty Guest

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    Gem I am so very sorry to hear of your recent loss & my thoughts are with you as you travel along in life after such a terrible loss.

    Good to hear that you have enjoyed a weekend out with your BF & that you are feeling a little better about things. Try not to place expectations on yourself about how you should be feeling & when you should be feeling it, let yourself take time to heal properly & do whatever you need to do to help yourself feel better & recover.

    We are always here whenever you need us.

  15. #15

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    Gem I am so very sorry to hear of your recent loss.

    My thoughts are with you as you in this hard time. O

  16. #16
    Gem Guest

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    Has anyone ever named there loss at just 5 weeks?

  17. #17

    Join Date
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    Gem, if you want to name your little one then go right ahead. A lot of people do give their angel a name and find that it really helps with the grieving process. I had 2 m/c at 10.5 and 16 weeks and named both of my babes.

    Take care.

  18. #18
    Gem Guest

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    I'm not actually sure what gender my baby was and I would really like to give he/she a name instead of calling it the baby or it. What do you think I should do regarding the name? :?

    I like the name Anabel which means gracious, lovable beauty but I don't know what gender it was..Hmmm

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