Miscarriage/Loss General Discussion #1

**cherie26** · April 28th, 2007, 08:04 AM

Pash

It is amazing really how we do look for support in people we dont know and find such comfort there. I think it has alot to do with the fact there is no judging just genuin care. I know it has helped me come a long way! I am definatley ttc now I just finised my first AF since my D&C. I am excited but scared (Suppose that is normal under the circumstances). I hope your TTC journey is a short one for you and me both

**cheekyfrog** · May 6th, 2007, 02:59 PM

Well, here I am.

Back again. It's been one week since I first started spotting and had that awful feeling that everything was over. Again. The blood test done at the hospital last Sunday showed my hCG levels had dropped to 6000 and the miscarriage was confirmed on Monday with an ultrasound scan that showed no heartbeat and a baby which had stopped developing at about 7w1d. I'd had a scan on March 26 that had shown my baby at 6w3d with a flickering heartbeat. While I'd had diminishing pregnancy symptoms in the two weeks prior, I'd consoled myself that it was because I was nearing the end of the first trimester and that I hadn't had any bleeding or cramping. I was so keen to see my baby again at the 12 week scan, desperately keen to see the heartbeat again and movement! I'd even been looking at hiring/buying a doppler, so anxious was I, but stopped myself from clicking on "confirm" because I was so close to having that scan. Today I'm still spotting since Tuesday's d&c and I'm feeling so alone. I am just so grateful for BB. It's the only place I can "talk" about how I'm feeling and look for a reason to keep hope in my heart.

**janeo** · May 6th, 2007, 07:57 PM

Again im so so so so sorry Kerry.. Im here if you need to talk anytime my m/c was very similar to yours in that my baby had become an angel earlier then when i found out...

**Faith** · June 28th, 2007, 12:01 PM

I would like to discuss my experience with my miscarriage. On March 31,2007 I got married after 8 years of being together. We never tried to get pregnant before but decided to try right away after we got married. We got pregnant right away on our honeymoon. We flew to Vegas, drove to San Diego and then went on a Mexican Rivera Cruise for 7 days. When we got home I had some dizziness but thought that was sea legs and getting adjusted to be off the ship. When I missed my period we decided to take a HPT. It came back positive, so I figured that I got pregnant on our first try. I called to make a doctors appointment and in between the time I found out and went to the doctors I took 5 HPT. During this time I was paranoid everytime I felt a ting or a pain. Right before I went to the doctors I had really bad period like pains. I went to the doctor and found out that I was 6 weeks and 4 days they did a internal ultrasound and there was the baby and the doctor said that she heard a heartbeat and that my changes of a m/c were only 5%. Exactly a week later I m/c. First it started as a light brown spot on Thursday but thought that maybe it was nothing and it was very faint. On Friday it was more so i called the doctor and told her and she told me that there was nothing to worry about. I felt so much better after that but then I went to the bathroom and there was blood. I was scared and didn't know what to do but the doctor said that there might be some blood that was left over from previous period. I laid down eventually fell asleep woke up at 2 and went to bathroom and there was nothing there I felt relieved and went back to sleep woke up at 7 and was scared to go to bathroom and when I did I passed 2 big clots. I cried and begged with my baby to hold on that mommy was there and that I would take care of it. I called the doctor had to go into the emergency room and have a D&C. It's now been a 1 1/2 months we are going to try after my second cycle but I am terrified that it will happen again. I have this feeling of constant sorrow everyday that just wont go away and I keep thinking that it was my fault. I wonder if it the drinking that I did while on our honeymoon and after before I took a HPT. I wonder if it is because I was around my dad who is a chain smoker or because I was so scared and stressed out. I wish that my husband and I didn't wait so long to start our lives together. I wonder if it from the eating disorder that I have had off and on for the past 10 years. I wish that I would have taken better care of my body. Sorry that this is long but I didn't know where to post this. i just needed to write all this down maybe someone can help me.

**Faith** · June 28th, 2007, 12:32 PM

also an add on to my previous post. Ever since I got married we have had bad luck. First I m/c then the week later my parents dog suddenly had to be taken to vet and put down for a tumor that went unnoticed, a week after that our wash machine broke then a week after that I have to take my husband into the emergency room and found out that he needed emergency surgery to remove his appendix, he was in the hospital for 2 days and off of work for 2 1/2 weeks. We are just wondering when our luck will turn around for us and scared for what the next week will bring.

**janeo** · June 28th, 2007, 12:50 PM

BIG HUGS Faith....... It is so hard having a m/c....... Your life gets turned upside down for this little bundle of joy..... But hold in there matey, it will never go away but it becomes easier, i lost my angel baby 6 mths ago and i still think about my angel every day, we had decided to start trying straight away and i thought i would be stressed to the max when i fell, but after 3 mths i hadnt fallen pg and i was so stressed i thought i was going to have a break down.. We got engaged and decided to keep trying and hold off wedding but i was having a horrible time TTC so we decided to get married first and put TTC on hold...

Since then im in a much better mind frame im happier, and my cycles have gone to being near normal.... Its hard at the moment as my due date is in 2 days and that is really hard but i know that i will be a mother soon and so will you....

Maybe take sometime out for yourself Faith, trying and push the negative thoughts out and bring in the good thoughts, even with the horrible things you are going through at the moment, you are healthy so is DH, you are newly weds and enjoy that and then bubs will come along im sure of that....... It helped me to talk to someone about it too maybe thats worth looking into....

**~StarBright~** · June 28th, 2007, 04:08 PM

Hi Faith, my name is Kat. I have been roaming around bb for a few weeks now. Not yet preg, again, but i am in preparation.
I have suffered two late losses and one miscarriage. I think with the miscarriage i tried to ignore that it happened. Because my first loss was at 18 weeks i started to feel like a little miscarriage wasn't the same thing and i didn't need to grieve as much. After a few months and a near marriage breakdown i realised that every loss has its sadness and needs to be greived, no matter how small.
I too felt guilty about everything. I actually didn't have tests done because i was blaming the fact that i had smoked, that my hubby smoked and drank. I put all the blame on myself. Since loosing my daughter Zahra i have found out i have a blood disorder which has possibly been the cause of my problems. I was too busy blaming myself to look at any other possibilities. It is so easy to blame ourselves.
I also thought i would tell you of my year of bad luck after my hubby and i got married. We returnrd from our honeymoon to find out the house we were renting was being sold and we had two weeks to find somewhere to live. (we were given four weeks notice, but two of those weeks we were blissfully un aware.)
My hubby lost his license and then his job
My recurring sore back from a fall 3 years prior starting playing up, i too had to stop working
Our car broke down while we were moving, never got fixed
We stayed with friends for a few weeks and eventually moved to a small town and started fresh. We then decided to start to try for a baby. A year later i got pregnant and that started our long road of disapointments and losses. Everything else has panned out ok, i got a great job at the local pub and hubby is about to start his own business. I think these things are here to test us and its how we deal with them that matter. What is that saying, what ever doesn't kill you makes you stronger?
I hope that even just writing your post has helped you a little bit. I send a big hug

and wish you all the best for your future. Try not to be too hard on yourself and take each day as it comes. Dont be afraid to cry. It brings on a strange sort of releif. All the best from Kat

**pash** · June 29th, 2007, 12:49 AM

Hi Faith, I am so sorry that you have to go through this. It's probably going to be a really hard time for you & DH, but you will come through it. Don't beat yourself up over what might have been. My GP told me that 95% of m/cs are due to chromosomal problems, and nothing to do with what the mother ate/drank/did. He also said that if something is wrong with the baby, it will miscarry, no matter how careful you are. So please don't blame yourself or your marriage.

I found it really helpful to rant & rave here. So, welcome, and you can put down any of your feelings here. No matter how sad they are, someone here will have been through something similar, and can probably help you come through it.

I hope you find a way to grieve & come through this sad time. :hugs:

**Faith** · June 30th, 2007, 11:47 AM

Thank you everyone for your encouraging thoughts and words. Even though this is a trying time for my DH and I we have hope that next time there will be a better outcome. 2 years ago when my sister was 5 months pregnant she had a stillbirth due to an incompetent cervix. She was in the hospital for a week trying to save the pregnancy and we would all go up there to see her and were there when she had her son. We were able to all hold him and take photos with him. I now have my first u/s photo and his photo together in a safe place together. The doctors found her condition troubling because she had already had 2 healthy kids but she had them 16 years earlier. She got pregnant again about 4 months later and had a stitch put in and was on progestrone shots and bedrest for 4 months and had a healthy boy. I also have had 3 friends with problems. One of my friends have been trying for 7 months and is on Clomid another had her baby girl when she was in her 6th month and another had an ecpotic pregnancy. A neighbor of my sisters was due within a week wasn't feeling well went to the doctor and found out that they had lost there baby boy. He was 9lbs.
I know that next time that I get pregnant again I will definetly not take it for granted. I know that alot of women will go on to have a successful pregnancy after a m/c and I hope that we all can experience the joy and happiness that they feel.

I also feel that I had certain signs right before my m/c. The Thursday night after my DH softball game I was watching Greys Antomy and the women on there had a m/c. I was reading a book and in it a women had a m/c. After my m/c which was in my 7th week but 3 days away from being 8 weeks the number 8 popped up on the tv during a commerical. It was really weird.

Thanks again to everyone and sorry for this being soo long and for some of the misspelled words.

**janeo** · June 30th, 2007, 11:53 AM

Yeah Faith the same thing happen to us after our m/c, every tv show we watched either talked about m/c had one in it, and 2 movies we watched the same thing and the book i got for christmas had a m/c exactly the same as mine.. Very hard... But you are sounding a lot my +ve and my thoughts are still with you...

**maz** · June 30th, 2007, 12:14 PM

OH girls - im sitting here crying cause I to know how much m/c hurts. My wounds are still fresh from my twins that I lost in March. This pg is my 11th, I have 3 darlings and the rest just weren't ready to come to my welcoming arms. There is hope, after every storm there is a rainbow.
Keep up with your positive thoughts (as hard as it is ATM) and know that there are girls on here who feel your pain. I just wish I could hug you all and let you know it will be alright.
xxmaz

**littlescottishboy** · July 27th, 2007, 08:31 PM

Hi girls,

I have been reading your stories and my heart goes out to you all. So many of us feel this pain that others can't even imagine. I am actually miscarrying today, so i am needing to 'offload' my feelings as i feel so confused.

I first had a miscarriage at 12 weeks a few years ago (we had no indication of anything gone wrong - went for the 12 week u/s to find baby with no heartbeat, so had to have D & C which i found so clinical and so impersonal in hospital as they made me be in the maternity ward!!!??). The good news is i recovered and went on to have a healthy little boy (major complications during pregnancy and after his birth, but that's for another time).

Found out last week i was pregnant, 3 positive HPTS, and a positive blood test also. Then, spotting a few days ago, then bright red blood this morning... trip to doc's again, blood count shows hCG not increasing, therefore miscarriage on its way.

Now i am feeling so confused... bleeding just dribs and drabs tonight, but i know it needs to come out... i had been using natural progesterone cream (which i used with my son's pregnancy) to help maintain the pregnancy, but now that this pregnancy is not viable anymore, i wonder how long it will take for my body to have the complete miscarriage and expel it all.

Sorry for long message... just so sad tonight... don't want to have D & C as it caused me to have Grade 4 Placenta Praevia with my son's pregnancy (and all the probs i had). Does anyone have any advice on how i can help my body to miscarry naturally and quickly? (It also took me sooo long for my normal cycle to get back after the previous m/c - i am worried it will take forever to get regular again, let alone conceive again!). Sorry for rambling...just needed to get this out.

Shari.

**littlescottishboy** · August 3rd, 2007, 08:00 PM

Just an update on my situation... have decided not to have D & C and my body has almost resolved itself now (yay). Going in for an ultrasound on Wednesday to make sure that there are no more "retained products of conception" (i hate doctor terminology). Fingers crossed that it will all be okay.

**shereejoy** · October 4th, 2007, 02:15 PM

Where has everyone gone to?

**jlk** · October 5th, 2007, 01:11 PM

This thread never seems to get going really, which is a shame.

**ElleJay** · October 5th, 2007, 01:34 PM

kbowman - OMG I'm so sorry! I didn't even know you were UTD!

Ladies - if there is anyone that needs to talk, I'll be happy to

**Nicambhar** · October 5th, 2007, 09:23 PM

I didn't know that this thread was here. Have just been lurking because I don't feel like talking about TTC atm. I am having a very bad day and have been bawling for most of it. I had my pg confirmed last week by HPT and then had a BT on Saturday only to start bleeding on Sunday night. The doctor called me Monday afternoon passing on his congratulations and that the BT confirmed my pg - I had just m/c not long before he called. I keep hearing of women bleeding and thinking that they have mc'd and they are still UTD. I am wishing that were me right now but I know it isn't because of the huge clot I passed and my temps went right down. I know I am being a little hard on myself, but I am sick of my body right now. sorry for the whinge, but I just have nobody that understands the feelings that I have.

**cherie26** · October 6th, 2007, 09:05 AM

Nicambahar

I am so sorry! I wish this didnt happen to you. I know how awful it is and the feeling that your body just cant get it right. Take time to heal and take one day at a time and soon enough you will have a baby in your arms.
Take care