Miscarriage/Loss General Discussion #1

[maz]

NIcambahar - matie I wish I could give you a big hug. I am so sorry for your little one not sticking honey. Try and focuss (Yes, I know how hard it is) on the positive (god knows what that is atm) and heal yourself inside. It has taken my ages to get to know this baby inside of me after loosing my twins in March. My sil just had a D&C yesterday after a 12week pg and my feelings are still very raw.
The girls in here are fabulous. they are our shoulders when no one else will give us one. I dont know how I owuld have survived without many of them.
I'll be praying that you heal soon and that you have that loving baby you so deserve, in your arms soon.

[diva det]

hey girls
guess i belong here as well
we lost our bubba at 12 weeks as well. This bubba took 4 years of trying with IVF, natrupathic, reflexology, and anything else that could help. Finally we got a sticker with a FET. Everything was going really well and was feeling bubba moving around and feeling crook as.
Went for my 12 week scan and found out that the heart had stopped a couple of days before. No signs, no symptoms - nothing
so had to have a suction currette
so here i am - stil really sad- but getting there. I am finding it hard to cope with as i can't just get pg again easily. If i knew it could happen again- it would make it a bit easier -but it is such a struggle to even get that far
I know that there are a couple of us that were due around the same time in april 2008, so would love to chat with those that are going through the same type of thing, as well as those that have been there before.
thanks
odette

[nicjay]

Odette - I am unfortunately in exactly the same postion as you at the moment

I found out on Tuesday at my 12 wk appt that our bub had passed away. I had no signs (except for a gut feeling that something was wrong, I so wish I had acted earlier on it ) and still had pg symptoms right up until the curette was done. I'm sure also that having no ms was a sign for me that things weren't right - I had terrible ms with my DD.

I am still very much struggling to cope with everything that has happened this week - I just wish the next few weeks would suddenly disappear so I can start to feel a bit better.

We conceived this bub on my first cycle of Clomid, so while we have had a few troubles conceiving, we have had nothing like you have been through. I'm hopeful we should conceive again fairly easily on Clomid. So I guess I can't help much with that side of things, you do have my sympathies Maybe just hold on to the knowledge that you have conceived once now - there must be a good chance that the FET will work again for you.

Anyway, I hope I haven't said the wrong thing at all, and if you want to chat I'll be around.

Nicambahar - sorry to hear you are not doing well today I know exactly how you feel. I just cry at the drop at the drop of a hat lately. I guess the only advice I can give you is to take it as it comes - that's what I'm trying to do, not very successfully I must admit I just feel like my life has changed forever.

[Nicambhar]

Cherie - Thankyou very much.. It's so nice to know that complete strangers care so much.. I am so stoked that you are pg again, take care and I hope that you have a healthy pg. xx

Maz - I am really struggling through without any family support. My DP works very long hours 6 days a week and I am just so damned alone.. I am now worried about getting pg again because I feel so pesimistic about it all.. You have hit the nail on the head when you say that it has taken time to get to know your knew little bun inside becuase I feel as though each loss is a loss of a person and everyone around me just says "oh well, it wasn't meant to be", I am so sick of hearing that right now.

Odette - My first loss was the same, I was 15wks and felt that something wasn't right. Our baby had passed a week or so earlier. I have found that with each loss I have gone balistic emotionally a day or two before it happens and am wondering if my losses and trouble conceiving are something to do with my hormones. I am heading back to my Dr on Monday and am demanding that he lose his blaze' attitude and do some tests.

Megsmum - sorry to hear of your loss, sounds as though we have had the same week too. I am bawling all the time, even over there being no tea bags in the cupboard. Can I ask how Clomid works, I have heard of it alot but don't really know anything about it.

sorry if I don't really make any sense atm, my mind is just mash and I can't think straight. I am so very glad to have you guys right now because I feel so lost sitting here by myself. Take care xx

[maz]

Nicambhar - each loss is your special person matie..you grieve honey. Jed and i made a garden for our babies we have lost. It helps at times when I feel down or even on a 'normal' day when I look out of my window and my eye catches hold of the plants, I think of my babies. Jed and i even named our twins cause they ment os much to us. Sunni and Willow.
I hear you on falling pg again....it really was very difficult for me to accept this little person growing in me. I felt guilty almost yet scared $hitless at the same time. Just take time for you and DH right now matie, and again, allow yourself to cry as much as you want to.
Odette and susannah - girls, I am so so sorry for you both. I know it doesnt really mean much when your heart has been torn in 2 but please know that if you need to talk and just get out all the angry and hurt, there are other people standing next to you to support you here. Take some time out for yourselfes and remember the little person you had developing inside of you, even if it was for a sort time. Cherish them in your hearts. I wish I could just give you all the biggest hug. I had no-one other than my darling Jed and the wonderful girls here at BB to help my thorugh my m/c. Fmaily and firends (RL) were usless with their false concerns as many of them had never had a m/s before so they couldnt relate to the pain inside.
Try and relax girls...with everystep back...you do actually start to inch forward.

[shereejoy]

Hi Odette, Megsmum and Nicambhar - it is not fair hey!

I too have the same feelings that you all described. I m/c twins and had my curette on 31st August and yes I was an April belly buddy with you Odette. I guess we were all due in April were we not???? This is my 2nd m/c of twins and I think having lost 4 babies now is doing my head in! Each day is getting easier and each day I just hug my little boy so tight and realise how lucky I am. I think I have read far too many stillborn stories lately that makes me realise that I would hate to go through that. Everyone says well there was obviously something wrong, and I know that but it doesn't make the pain any less. I have met some amazing ladies on this site and they have helped me imensley get through this sadness of mine. I have atleast 5 people now around me that I know very well in real life that are pregnant and due around the same time as I was and I think this is what is making my sorrow so fresh still. My sister is due 2 weeks after me and I hate having these feelings of resentment towards other people when they tell me they are pregnant, and I am not! I just don't understand why my body gives me twins if I can't carry them!

Take care girls and would love to continue chatting with you.

[littlescottishboy]

Girls, i feel for you all and know what you are all going through. It totally totally totally sucks and is not fair. Sending out the biggest hugs to you all and praying that we all get our longed-for babies in our arms very soon.

[Nicambhar]

I am sooooo angry right now. I have just come back from the Dr's. He asked me to come back in and see him after he found out that I had mc again. He asked me why I didn't go to the hospital, I wasn't in friggin pain, I was bleeding and I knew that I was having a mc but what can be done about it?
Then he asked me if it were necessary to TTC again...... scuse me, I didn't think that I had to justify myself to anybody about how many children I want. arrrrrrrgggghhhh, people wonder why I don't go to the doctors very often..
Phew, with that off my chest now, my bloods came back normal - my thyroid levels were checked. The only thing was that I was extremely low in Vit D. I did ask him about the Vitex and he seemed to think that it was a gimmick..
As for the TTC front, I think I might be O super duper early. Am on CD8 and have had loads of EWCM and my temp has taken a huge dive this morning. I am so confused about everything now.

Sheree - I am so happy for all my pg buddies too, but I do feel a bit of pain as well and maybe some envy. I had waited such a long time to put my name up in lights with a BFP and it was so short lived.

Maz - You are so lovely to take the time out to share your story. I keep reading over your post as it provided me with some comfort. Thankyou..

[shereejoy]

Nicambhar - gawd some doctors have no idea do they!!! I would have been angry too! So what can you take to increase your Vitamin D, isn't sunlight a good source of Vitamin D. AS for the vitex, a doctor wouldn't have a clue, I would see a naturapath. I have taken Vitex now for both of my pregnancies and conceived first cycle for both.

[nicjay]

Nicambhar - oh pooh to your doctor, I don't see that it's any ones else's business how many children you want! At least I have been lucky on that front - my ob has been excellent through this - I think he was really horrified when he did the us and found no heartbeat He has never suggested that we should think about giving up. I must admit its been getting up my nose a bit this week when people say oh you have one child you should be happy about that. Don't get me wrong I do know that, but I feel like saying thanks a lot (not!!), I'll decide how many kids are enough for me for myself! I've just had so many dumb things said to me this week - mostly by family - they really just don't understand because they haven't had it happen to them.

Thats great that your bloods are normal - I've got to wait 3 and a bit weeks to ask my ob what more I can have done in the way of blood tests and other investigations. Can't help much on the TTC front either, sorry - I have to wait it out for this cycle and start again next. I tried Vitex for a couple of cycles and found that I O'ed early using it, so maybe that's whats happening to you too? I stopped taking it the month before I started on Clomid. I'm using Clomid to lengthen my short cycle, especially my LP, which is only 10 days. At least I have hope that we have already conceived using it, so no reason it shouldn't happen again. Obviously my main worry in another pregnancy will be miscarrying

Sheree - I'm so sorry for your losses I too would have been your belly buddy I think, but I was too scared I would miscarry and was waiting to introduce myself in the Belly Buddy thread until after 12 weeks. How prophetic was that It is hard seeing other pregnant women isn't it? I just look at them now and cry to myself - it is just not fair! Why did this have to happen to me? At least I do have my DD as a comfort - she has been cuddling me and saying "Mummy's sad". I'm just trying to hang on to the thought that there must have been something wrong too - I just refuse to believe that this can possibly happen to me again!

Maz - thank you so much for your lovely post...

[shereejoy]

I agree with Susannah that Vitex must have made me ovulate early too, maybe it wasn't cd16 as I usually am. The reason why i know is because I left on cd11 to go away without Wade and we dtd that morning only. So it all kinda makes sense now Susannah said that.

Susannah - Ok the plan is we be belly buddies again ok! I am also sick of the comments atleast you have Lachlan blah blah blah, atleast you can fall pregnant blah blah blah - it will happen blah blah blah. I find all these comments so disrespectful to my feeling and obviously people that have no idea including my family! I wish they would say nothing at all!!!!!! I def agree there was something wrong with our angels, but it's still not fair hey? And I hear ya on wondering why it happened to us, these things don't happen to people like you and I. Don't know if I am making sense.

Hope everyone is having an ok day.

[Nicambhar]

megsmum - yes it has been the same for me this week - people saying the stupidest things I have ever heard. Even my own mum has let me down, she said "oooha, I didn't think you were trying anymore. Oh well, it weren't meant to be", if I hear that one more time I reckon I will choke the person. Gotta love the comment from the Dr about giving up though, when he has pictures of all 5 of his kids on the wall.

Sheree - The doctor told me to get on Elevit and also Ostelin 1000. I know that he can't really do much for me, but man was I pi$$ed, I just want answers, and I just want to be rid of the fear of falling pg. I just think I am a little bit grumpy today. I have had a bit of a sleep this afternoon.

I really appreciate you ladies being here, I think that DP has had enough mc, pg and TTC talk for this lifetime...

[shereejoy]

What is ostelin.

I am on Elevit too, I swear by Elevit. Some people feel sick from it, but i haven't had a problem.

[Nicambhar]

Just googled it Sheree and it is a Vitamin D..

[shereejoy]

Aggh right gotchya

[diva det]

ok i want to be a belly buddy with you too as well!!!
had OB and told us nothing!
got a slip to have some b/tests to see if i am at a increased risk of m/c, but thats it
no chromosonal tests were back. $90 later!!
i am so low atm.
i don't know if we will ever get there again!
sorry just feel sad today!
odette

[shereejoy]

Big hugs and kisses Odette. Thinking of you. Of course you can be a belly buddy with us.

[mumstar]

Well, its now 10 weeks and 1 day since d & C and still waiting for AF. I feel like it's never going to happen and this will decrease my chances of getting pregnant. Sorry, this a me post today.