Oh Goldilocks nothing I can say will take away your pain. It is an awful horrible shock to find your baby is 'gone'.
You are right I truly believe we are never given more than we can deal with. I also believe that there are so many valuable lessons in pain and you are a courageous and brave soul to be able to see them. Those lessons are different for us all.

Take time to heal your heart and your body. You are blessed to have a beautiful and understanding partner to share this journey with. I know without my beautiful husband I wouldn't have dealt with my pains as I have. We each grieved differently but our husbands feel the pain and loss too so it is important to support each other. Spend some time in the warm sun - it somehow helps the healing...

If you need someone please let me know. I truly understand the shock you are feeling.

Big big hugs Goldi xoxoxo