Hun a fair few of us have been there. I was there mid last year. Please know you are not alone and you are well within your rights to grieve this precious angel that was too perfect for this Earth. Sometimes there is no reason for them to leave us, sometimes they just need to come and be with us for such a fleeting time. You did nothing wrong hun.

You have posted before that pregnancy can reduce the severity of your Px so maybe once you feel that you have reached a weight you are more comfortable with is a more realistic goal, and your Px may be easier to get under control immediately after a pregnancy.

As for flushing it away hun, I did it too. There is not much else you can do when it is so tiny as to need a microscope to see the actual Embie.

Sweetheart, if you need to talk, PM me or click the little blue guy at the top of my post for MSN.