I get really upset when I think about it. If my daughter ever knew how I felt, I would be devestated.

In NICU, they say that the baby recognise's the mother by your smell, voice, etc - but I just don't believe it. My daughter never seemed to know if I was there or not and it was so disheartening. I couldn't even touch her without asking a nurse's permission first, and then being watched all the time.

I sank into post natal depression, and spent most of my time in NICU with tears streaming down my face.

I find bonding such a big thing for me. My family don't understand, and they say i'm being silly and of course she knows i'm her mother. My GP said that the baby has bonded with me, it's just me finding it hard to bond with her.

The thing is, I don't seem to be able to comfort her better than anybody else. I feel like i'm just another person in her life... I love her so much, I would do anything for her I just wish I knew she loved me? I feel like i've let her down.