Thats the thing, i don't know what i want... its hard to think clearly through the PND haze. But i know this, before i was giving him a bottle and i wished i was breastfeeding him, i also started to leak milk so the thought must have triggered something.

This is silly, but i offered him the nipple (again in the bath) to see what he would do and he had no idea what to do with it, he tried to bit me first, then pushed it away and screwed up his face. I felt a sense of panic, i guess because a tiny part of me thought, that if i felt better after going to the MBU and then starting therapy, making changes at home, more support etc - i thought i could re-lactate if i wanted to. And it saddens me so much that he's not only lost the interest, but probably the sucking reflex now.

I guess its a bit selfish of me to think of relactating when he's doing so well as he is, do you think it would throw everything out of balance and be confusing for him?? And is there any point considering he's 7.5 months, would there still be a great health benefit?

Its just that i breastfed my toddler for over 2.5 years, and i so wish my baby could have the same.