Miss E, I've never done naughty corners or time out and don't intend to. Pinky McKay is a great read for alternative and compassionate responses to a child's brain fizzle Also, Alfie Kohn has a very useful website with informative articles that are backed up by empirical research. As does Robin Grille's work.
They are absorbing so much every day in their development at this time, that adding shame and isolation to the mix makes this time of learning so much harder to navigate for them.
When we clash with them it's like any other relationship - needs aren't being met and communication isn't effective. In a child's case it's because their communication skills are undeveloped for speech and they are telling us in other ways that something is up. The biggest thing I remember at this age in my kids is that they really want to be understood (don't we all?), even if we can't get what we want, so finding out what's wrong first, acknowledging it next, then coming to a resolution that suits both parties worked far better for our continuing relationship than any punitive measure would have.
I've never set up any 'consequences', either - DS learns from consequences such as having me be hurt or sad, or his sister hurt. Those are huge consequences for little people, especially when they really don't set out to cause unhappiness.
My DD is just over 2yo and I find I can give her explanations of things and she picks up the gist to understand me. When she's not receptive to explanations it's because whatever is going on is big enough in her head to override everything else and then it's my job to figure that out and give her the time and effort to help her regulate.
We're not born to emotionally self-regulate, it's something we learn, and we don't learn to acknowledge our feelings and work on solutions by being put in naughty corners or left in isolation as small people. We learn it from those around us and bigger than us. Naughty corners, time outs and any other punishments encourage kids to think about themselves and their own hurt feelings, rather than how they have affected anyone else. Even if they do have some notion of how they have affected someone else they are not being taught how to work through it, other than being taught how to avoid the real issue. The real issue is usually to do with how they have done something that has made things harder for the other person, hurt them, made them scared etc. If we want them to avoid that happening again then it needs to be addressed then and there, and the appropriate responses modelled. For ages now my DD will do something to DS, see his sad reaction and then go and hug him saying "So So" (i.e. sorry), and not because I've told her to do it, but because that's what she sees happen between DS and I, DS and dad and me and her if I've done something to her without thinking.
Most of it is modelling. It takes longer and lasts longer. Punitive responses may 'work' in the short term, and create other problems that affect their future human interactions. Yes, they'll still love you, they'll still trust you, but not because of naughty corners and time outs - just because kids are so forgiving and have generous spirits. Until we erode them enough that by the time they are teenagers they see no need to believe that our way of dealing with them is useful or respectful of them, so they take their chances with the outside world with the tools we have taught them.
The people I know who have teenagers either tell me that I have to smack, use naughty corners, use time outs (yes, some do! There are plenty of those well-meaning people around!!), or they say that they love what I'm doing with my kids and that they did the same kinds of things. The former example then always follows that up with "then they are teenagers and they become awful", and the latter don't have to say anything at all because I know the kinds of mutually respectful and genuinely beautiful relationships they have with their current teenagers.
The proof of the pudding is in the eating. Go with your gut and disregard the attitudes and words of people who tell you things that don't sit right with YOU and how you want to set up relationships with YOUR kids.
From what you have written I don't think the 'conventional wisdom' will honour you or your intentions for your kids.
Go with logic and love