You can even just ask their opinion. My DD1 is 4 and helps set the expectations and consequences which helps things feel less like a 'punishment' we are dishing out and more like a solution which we found together. It also helps you understand what sort of things are important to them - my DD1s first point of order was hurting people then snatching things then listening so it helped to know she wanted the same things too, that she did want to be kind all of her own volition. I realised that I also have things I hope to achieve but sometimes fall short of so I became more understanding. So we would ask things like 'well what should somebody do if they feel like hitting' and she suggested some space alone to calm down and then a hug so now when I see she is getting frustrated I can acknowledge it and remind her what we talked about earlier, she takes her time out (and I ask if she wants me to wait with her or not) then we hug and move on. I also noticed she was most likely to want to hit when her sister (who is just 1) had snatched so began reassuring and showing her different ways to handle the situation, explaining to that if she modeled sharing and asking that DD2 would pick up on it too but if she modeled hitting than that is what she would learn. Things became much easier when I could gather her thoughts too and get her actively participating, people are more cooperative when they are involved in the process. When she was younger we did the double outcome choices like boots vs sandals or me doing it vs her doing it which worked well but has become less and less necessary.

We always try to address things before they become bigger problems like with babies you keep an eye out for tired signs, with my kids now I look out for frustration signs lol. I also openly acknowledge when I am starting to feel frustrated too, lead by example and all that.