Red Robin it is interesting the coping strategies we employ to cope with our pain. I don't know how you have found it within your social circle but to have lost at parent at our age is an uncommon thing so our peers don't understand it so there is no discussion of how best to deal with these things. I suppose even if there was everyone is different with how they deal with things.

Mad Scientist I too get jealous of my friends. Not that I wish they didn't have their Mums but that I wished mine was here and then I can get a bit stuck in why things are so unfair. Why do I have to go through this and my friends don't. They have had babies that slept and then ontop had Mums to hang out with or take their kids overnight which is great but not what my life is. I try to be philosophical like in my original post that it is teaching me life lessons etc etc but really it just sucks! I suppose though no one has the perfect life and we all have our stuff to deal with and this is just mine.

Thanks ladies it is good to know I am not alone.