hi ladies,i just wanted to quickly reply,i had tears when reading this,i feel so alone sometimes and yet read this and reminds me im not!!My dear mum passed coming up 5 years next year and i was married but my DH didnt want kids for a long time,i feel angry at him in some ways because we were married a long time and we both knew we were going to have kids he just wanted to wait and wait(was actually gone 10 years married that he finally agreed)i just really wanted my mum to meet my daughter or to at least know i was pregnant because she knew how much i wanted to be and she wanted it too,i have 2 older sissters and they both have children who loved and remember there nanny and how loving and fun she was and i feel sad that i dont have her and my kids will never enjoy that,sorry that turned into a bit of a vent!I get sad too and feel i wish so much she was here i know i cant change things and i do agreee as you said Netti it takes away some sting to have ones close wwho are similar,i just worry im still a bit bitter and sad about mum gone i dont know how though to get it out.i guess they will always be missed and everytime we see a grandmother with children and daughters its just a reminder,i just feel i want to say to people who complain etc to appreciate there mums because some of us dont have them in our lives anymore so enjoy them while there here!Every post here is so close to how i feel i guess we all have similar feelings after being through it and i want to be a fun happy mum like mine was but sometimes i too get jealous of others and i feel i dont have the help like they do,there mums do so much and help and things life can be so unfair but i guess i need to try be positive and a good mum my self for my little girl.