I don't envy you the decisions you now face. But this is key - those decisions are entirely yours to make. Your XP has made his and while he can't tell you what to do with your body and your child, his choice ostensibly says to me that he has voluntarily removed himself from the equation. Don't let yourself feel pressured by him at all, and remind him that he made his decision, its out of his hands now.

Anything further to that is entirely up to you. Any advice I could give would be too far removed from the situation to be given in your best interests. What I can say is writing is amazingly therapeutic and helpful. Get some time to yourself and write down everything that comes to mind about this. Write down exactly what outcomes you would want, how the alternatives make you feel, get it all down. Once your head is decluttered and it is all on paper, it should help you make a decision that you, your heart and your head can all agree to.

Good Luck. for you. Remember, no matter where that process takes you, you will find support on BellyBelly.