Sue you are absolutely right! no one can tell you exactly what raising a baby/child is like because all children are different. Its like when my lovely SIL sent me a message saying that me and DP wouldnt cope with a baby, that we don't have enough patience and we don't do well under stress. What the hell was she thinking she was going to get back to that, of course i threw it all back into her face and told her that i am NOT 12, i do know that children AREN'T easy but will take it as it comes. She is basing this off what she has seen with her kids, im sorry but they are HER kids of course i could never settle her kids as they want their mother not me to comfort them. But she went as far as saying that we wouldn't cope with a special needs child, like i said to her WE WILL TAKE IT AS IT COMES no one is ready to have a special needs child, what is the point in worrying myself stupid until the time comes and i found that part very offensive i love how she has so much faith in her own brother...