Page 7 of 10 FirstFirst ... 56789 ... LastLast
Results 109 to 126 of 171

Thread: Pregnancy Vent Thread #2

  1. #109

    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    adelaide
    Posts
    258

    Default

    karina DITTO I stopped drinking completely also (i.e. those alcohol and pregnancy ads aren't on TV for nothing) - and our good friends who have grown up children (18 & 10) are like 'you're being ridiculous, I drank throughout and mine are fine'.... makes me soooo ANGRY.

    it's my choice and i've gone off the midwives current advice that says 'none is best' ... not off what they said in the UK 18 years ago. and it might not have hurt your baby, but what if mine is different (which it is) and it hurts it - jesus. This is my biggest pet peeve cos it comes from very close friends.



    they treat me like i'm an alarmist and a 'cotton-wool' type person, when i'm just doing what's best. i guess if i drank it would make them feel better - stiff ... not going to!

  2. #110

    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    2,614

    Default

    Ha!! YES the main culprit for me was this lady at work (who I think actually is an alcoholic, but I'm not 100% sure) and she kept on hassling me and asking why I wouldnt have any alcohol. It didnt help that the culture at work was all about drinking and party. There was a bar across the road and at least once a week most of the office would be over there drinking alcohol paid for on the boss's work credit card. It was so hard to get through to them that NOT HAVING ALCOHOL IS NOT GOING TO HURT MY BABY, but having alcohol could hurt baby... what option am I going to choose??? hmm.... They all thought I was some freak! Luckily they stopped hassling me after a while so that was nice. Its not that I hate hat others drink alcohol when pregnant, its more that people were hassling me and not respecting what I was doing.

  3. #111

    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    adelaide
    Posts
    258

    Default

    karina - i agree. it's not that i think ppl who drink when preg are bad - i respect their choice and would 'expect' the same from them.

    wow - where do u work that allows them to drink on bosses c/card. i work at a university so i have to fill in a form if ppl drink alcohol during work hours or alcohol purch by the uni!

  4. #112

    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    2,614

    Default

    mustangsachy, I work at an insurance company.

  5. #113

    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Bunbury, Western Australia
    Posts
    3,963

    Default

    oh I agree with so many things that you guys have bought up!

    I have been asked three times if this pg was unplanned and it really gets under my bonnet! What business is it of theres?

    I hate the alcohol thing. Mostly people do the whole "awww, i bet you miss having alcohol so much..." No, i don't. Because 1. just the smell makes me gag anyway and
    2. this baby is depending on me for everything, who am i to chuck alcohol down my throat for my own fun?

    I've also had a work collegue (no kids) lecture me about how lucky i am that my job isn't physically draining and that i'm lucky to be in my roll while i'm pregnant, especially since i've had morning sickness i'm able to quietly sit at my desk. Karma is soooo gonna get her in the butt when it's her turn.
    And Karina, our work usually have drinks every friday arvo to wind down, and guess who's labeled designated driver now... Ooh you guessed it! :P

  6. #114

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Down by the ocean
    Posts
    6,110

    Default

    You could just tell them that you had a glass of wine the other night and it gave you a headache (which is true in my case) so you'd rather avoid it Sometimes you need to give people a valid reason in their eyes

  7. #115

    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    On the edge of Crazytown
    Posts
    1,178

    Default

    GGGRRR! People saying" DONT find out the sex... make it a surprise... its better that way..."

    Nick off and mind your biz! done that twice already (not by choice) and it WASNT better that way!!!!!

  8. #116

    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Perth, WA
    Posts
    1,225

    Default

    Also people saying "Oh you HAVE to have more than one - it needs something to play with! And they MUST be close together or it'll be too strange for the first one!"

    I'm sorry but I cannot justify having another child JUST so the first one has something to play with! At the moment we have a teeny tiny house and it absolutley will not under any circumstances hold more than one child :-)

  9. #117

    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    378

    Default

    Oh ladies i hear you on the alcohol thing, i have close friends and family saying the same "one glass is ok" or "its a special occassion" (like that changes how my body is going to use the alcohol on my unborn baby!)and im like "i love my child enough to not even risk it" for goodness sakes, is alcohol such an issue in our society that people feel the need to push it on you even when you are pregnant?? makes me mad. I have decided not to drink because my baby is worth more than that risk to me. If i need a reason to drink, i will find one on my own, dont need anyone else to justify it for me. And besides its not a lifetime without it, just 9 months and while im BFing! Youd think i was losing a limb the way some people react! grrr, makes me wild!

    Oh and I work in an insurance company too and we get friday night drinkies as well but they dont push it on me, only friends and family who feel the "need" to be upfront with me. *sigh*

    I should just say "and while im downing a glass of wine should i snort a line of coke at the same time? they are after all both drugs of some kind" just for shock value!

    As for sizing of bellies... im so over the "you have dropped, you are going to go so early i can tell" this said by 5 different women in the past week. well if i do then i do, if i dont then i wont, well see how it goes shall we Dr ummmm whats your degree again??

    I popped out a belly at 15 weeks but there is a lady at my church who is nearly 20 weeks and you cant tell shes preggie, shes stick thin but has no bump (or the tiniest one but hidden by clothing) shes always upset that no one thinks shes 4 months pregnant, poor girl. I never say a word about the size of her belly, i just keep reminding her theres a bubba growing healthy and strong inside of her.

  10. #118

    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Bunbury, Western Australia
    Posts
    3,963

    Default

    Angela yesss, i hate the people who say you have to have more than one!
    It's like hello can i spit this one out first at least?!

    A work collegue gave me a "once you have kids your life is over" speech the other day (she has no kids) What gore to say that to someone who is pregnant... sheesh!

  11. #119

    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Gold Coast, Queensland
    Posts
    945

    Default

    Hi girls,
    My name is Saša (pron. Sasha) and I am currently 9 weeks pregnant with my second child. My DD is almost 1 1/2.

    Can I have a little dummy spit?

    Why do people feel the need to invade your privacy so much when you're pregnant? It's like once you're knocked up, it's not your life anymore, it's not your body and EVERYONE knows EVERYHTING better than you do (even though you have done tons of research, then they'll just say: don't believe everything you read).
    I don't drink in the first semester. But after that, if I go out to dinner, I might have a shandy or half a glass of wine. But that's it. It would never add up to more than 1 standard drink per week. I respect people's choice when they decide not to drink at all. It's the safest way to go.

    But what really got on my nerves was people criticising me for doing it (my FIL was the biggest culprit) and at the same time telling me how I should book in my epidural already (at about 20 weeks pregnant). So, how is it suddenly alright to put drugs in my body for birth (that are proven to affect the baby), but before that, you've gotta be so careful??? I'm not against epis. I just found this attitude quite hypocritical.

    When he heard I was planning a natural birth in a birth centre, he laughed and said: "You won't be able to do it without drugs, it really really hurts, believe me!" BELIEVE ME??? How does he know? How many babies has he given birth to? Well, I was not only able to do it without drugs, I never even for a second felt a need for them. I have to admit, I felt a little smug when I walked into his living room only 4 hours after giving birth (yes, your read correctly, I visited my in-laws on the way home from the birth centre), carrying my healthy baby and feeling pretty good, tired, but otehrwise fine.

    I did quit smoking when I first got pregnant. It was easy for me and I haven't felt like taking it up again. But I know some people who just couldn't quit. They have soooo many people chastising them. What's the point? They feel guilty already. All you will achieve by berating them is to make them feel horrible and seek comfort in another smoke. Yes, of course it is better for the baby if the mother doesn't smoke. But what gives anybody the right to judge them? How do they know how much effort this person has put into trying to quit?

    And about the "your life is over once you have kids". It is true. The life you had is over. Another much richer life is starting. You can still do the same things you did before. If you want to. But there is another dimension to your life, to your partnership, to everything. People who don't have kids will never truly understand that. People who don't want kids have no chance of even getting close to understanding it.

    But to be honest, all these people telling us what we should and shouldn't do are just preparing us for what is ahead of us once our kids are here. If you think they are getting on your nerves now, then brace yourself for how much unsolicited advice and criticism you're gonna get about your parenting style and methods. Everyone is an expert. Especially people who either don't have kids or have had them a long time ago. It's insane. Especially if your methods vary from what is the common current norm. You will be "educated", judged & criticised by virtual strangers. You will have to develop a thick skin. My MIL (who never had a kid, she's DHs step mum) always said to me: unfortunately, children don't come with instruction manuals. I disagree. There are a million manuals out there. But they all disagree with each other.
    My father has made one of the most helpful comments when it comes to parenting. But you can apply it to pregnancy, too: "Follow your instincts. They are usually right. If our instincts were that wrong, our species would not have thrived as it has."

    Sorry for the rant. But thanks for "listening".

    Saša

  12. #120

    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    adelaide
    Posts
    258

    Default

    Hi Sunshine - big hello and for saying it how it is!

    It amazes me how many 'eddie the experts' there are out there. i'm 'deciding' to ignore all of them and not let their b/s effect my day/ life. at the end of the day i think they want you to do it the way they did cos it will validate for them that what they did was 'right'. i don't think there is such a think as right or wrong but there is def a 'right for me'.

  13. #121

    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Gold Coast, Queensland
    Posts
    945

    Default

    Mustangsachy, very very true.
    I saw an older post from you about not showing at 18.5 weeks and people commenting on your being "too small". I was like that with DD. Although I did put on a little more than you,... Some people only started considering th idea that I mgiht be pregnant at about 35 weeks. Like a courier who had seen me nearly every day asking me at about 36 weeks, but was still not sure. Our neighbour asked DH and said that she jsut thought I was getting fat... gee, thanks.
    I constantly got: I don't think this one will be cooked on time... or you're so lucky, you will have a tiny, delicate baby...
    I went into spontaneous labour at 39 weeks, 3 days, DD was born 12 hours later weighing 3.9kg (8lb 9 oz) and measuring 52cm. So she did get cooked on time and she certainly wasn't little.
    Don't listen to those comment. it just shows how ignorant people are.

    Saša

  14. #122

    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    City of the swinging pig WA
    Posts
    371

    Default

    Hi girls,

    OMG , Ditto, ditto and ditto to all of the above. This is our 6th PG( lost our baby girl at 19weeks) but our 4 th baby. I get comments like" your gonna need to buy a bus " or "dont you own a tv". We have CHOSEN to have a large family and its nobody else's business but ours. I esp hate it when people touch my tummy.Im like ,hello your touching my body. Im sure if I touch their backside and told them how big it was getting they wouldn't appreciate it.It would make me laugh though , He He

  15. #123

    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    adelaide
    Posts
    258

    Default

    hi again girls - can you tell i CBF working today

    sunshine - in the last week i've 'popped' a lil bit. i was talking to a friend in my office today and if someone does ask me 'when are u due' i'm going to put a shocked expression on my face and say NO, i'm not pregnant, i know i've put a little bit of weight on over winter! LOL just for some payback. am sick of ppl commenting on how small i am so i'd love to really scare the crap outta someone! LOL

    kitten76 - how rude are ppl commenting on how many children you have! if they ask if you have a tv say 'YES but sex is way more fun don't you think? or maybe you aren't doing it right?' LOL that will shut them up.

  16. #124

    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Bunbury, Western Australia
    Posts
    3,963

    Default

    'YES but sex is way more fun don't you think? or maybe you aren't doing it right?'

    hahaha mustangsachy what a crack up! I'm so gonna remember that one!

  17. #125

    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    City of the swinging pig WA
    Posts
    371

    Default

    Mustangsachy, definitely using that one " Maybe your not doing it right"
    Thanks for the tip sweetie

  18. #126

    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Lobethal, South Australia
    Posts
    87

    Default wisdom

    Hi - just quickly, this is my first post, I"m at work so just trying to read/respond in between looking busy
    I'm due April 26 with baby #1...
    Just thought i'd quickly share the best piece of advice I've received so far since being pg... However people respond to you being pg or when you tell them about the birth you're planning or anything surrounding your pregnancy/birth/parenting really, basically the responses you get are a whole lot more to do with them and their insecurities, fears, past feelings of guilt etc than it has to do with you and your baby/pregnancy.

    OKay, it doesn't make it all any less frustrating, but just having that thought in mind certainly helps me perhaps understand/respond a little better... it's actually really sad that society have so developed many issues surrounding pregnacy and pregnant women.

    sorry, that was a really poorly written thread, but like i said i'm flicking between and work and a million other things while trying to think about what i should get for lunch

Page 7 of 10 FirstFirst ... 56789 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •