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Thread: Parenting after Long Term TTC #6

  1. #199

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    Can I swear??? I think that is the only fitting way to express my shock, excitement and absolute joy for Kelly and Grub. I guess OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! will have to suffice. What amazing good fortune for both of you. I'm so happy and will watch with interest and hope that your tales keep reminding me of why I have mostly made up my mind not to go through it all again.

    Grub, when you were telling us your suspicions of being preggas, how funny were you girl, I nearly peed myself laughing at your hastily written "prosetergone" and the fact that you said you "aren't jumping from the rooftops" yet. You will forever remain the biggest dag I know!! I can just see you now, yay we're pregnant, time to jump off the roof. Well I'm sure you'll be screaming as you go anyway. By the way, I'm not red-penning your writing, I just got the urgency in your typing and it cracks me up

    I've missed a lot for one reason and another, not the least of which was due to a trip to Townsville to see my family before Jazzy's surgery. Man, I can be so incredibly dumb! I bought this super duper cheap jetstar flight to Cairns, because in theory it would be easy to catch the bus to T'ville and since my flight got in at midnight, we could travel through the night and be in T'ville by morning. That's if everything had gone right, the airport hadn't stuffed me around, I had caught my connecting bus and I hadn't been stranded at 1am in Cairns with no buses and no taxis and the airport closing down and nowhere to stay. My poor old DH got the phonecall from me at 1.30 and booked me into the flashesst motel in town for a whole 4 hours sleep before setting out on the bus again. The bus trip was oh so freaking mind numbingly boring and Jazzy was not playing nice for about 4 out of 6 hours. If someone had handed me a rusty butter knife, I'd have set to work on my wrists. A 3 hour drive by car is like 6 by bus with a toddler on your lap. I just kept thinking "kill me now". We do lots of travelling but that was by far the worst and cost soooooo much more than it would had I simply just flown direct and not tried to go it on the cheap. Needless to say, I flew back to Cairns, overnighted in a motel again and then flew out and all flights were complete bliss, heaven, wonderful experiences compared to the bus. NEVER again! Can you believe how many people see a mother with a baby strapped to her, travelling on her own with luggage and I mean struggling at these mongrel airports who charge money for trolleys (when you don't have it, what do you do?) Of course it's easy to dwell onthe negative, but there are also good people who go above and beyond to help.



    I'm allowed to have a rant because hey it's my birfdy today and I've got time on my hands (ha, that's funny, cos I got a watch), I mean, the wee one is sleeping still.

    Grub, I'd be looking to the toofy pegs for the answer to your clingy question. Jazzy did the red cheeks thing and then woke at all those hours you described lastnight. I'm used to those nights and even though I'm trying to wean her back into her cot beside our bed more, on nights like that, it is so much easier not to fight it and just let them snuggle when they need it. As Neptune says, they don't get dependent, they just need a bit of reassurance while they go through something new, painful and unsettling. It could be a coincidence that Ash's teeth play up with DH going away or just change in his routine. I always suspect that changes in routine plays a big part, (almost a stress reaction) but that's just my thoughts.

    In Townsville, in the lovely, stifling heat Jazz slept so well with no wake ups whatsoever, so I started to think that she must wake with the cold at home. She never misses a wake- up at midnight for a feed on a week where she's sleeping well and not teething. She developed her own quirk though which is she must lie across the top of the bed (ours) with her arm dangling between matress and bedhead and if she has to crawl up over your face and across your pillow to get there, then that's what she does. It's the funniest thing. Other times she does this exhausted flop thing where she flops around everywhere until she drops asleep again, (usually on my head).

    Well she's up and racing, so I'd better go and supervise.

    Just a huge shout out to Miss Neptune...I think you are amazing!!! Congrats on all that you've been through that has led to you feeling more confident that things will improve and you've done a fantastic job to cope with so much and still study, do exams and think of going back to work. Massive respect lovely. Good luck and take some time for yourself in your break.

    Bye lovelies.

    P.S Happy 1st birthdays to Tara and Adam

  2. #200

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    murph, look at that adorable little piccy on your signature!!!

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMA MURPH!

    LOL it must be Cairns. Ash and I had that horrofic flight from cairns to brisbane because we also bought the cheap seats... ie the 6am flight out of cairns... it was a terrible terrible thing!

    and as for the bus! lol. I caught that bus a few times when i was in uni in tvle and coming home.... even as an 18 yr old it was painfully slow so i can just imagine how awful it was!!! yeah next fly direct lol.

    hey! it's only a month til Jazzy's big op!!! are you excited?? all sorted???

    Poor Campbell Saph! and poor mumma, can't believe you tried to put it together yourself. isn't that what men are made for? haha. hope the kids enjoy it now.

    yeah marcellus. I figure this kid gets neglected in utero and Ash gets neglected after that!

    Well had our final BT yesterday and very pleased to report my numbers have jumped to over 1600. so all is great! We have our viability scan on Mon Nov 8 so am excited about that...

    oh and now i'm coming down sick with what ash has (a sore throat). So am hanging for Saturday when DH finally comes home and i can spend the arvo sleeping off my fortnight.

    Well better go and settle ash down. we went to a craft day this mroning and there was a creche... i left him there with some mums he'd never met while i was in the next room... happy-as-larry! when i picked him up for a kiss, he squirmed and basiclaly told me to "eff off mumma"!!! and went back to playing with the trucks and other kids boo hooo ... BUT i did get an hour's peace to do craft without him clingy/whingy etc

  3. #201

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    Thanks for the birthday greetings and commiserations of my travel woes Grub, but I gots to pick you up on something...be buggered it's a month til operation, well... operation!!! It's 12 days, not that I'm counting MUCHHHHHH So when you are having your viability scan on the 8th Nov, think of two other things on that auspicious day. 1 it's Jazzy's original due date, 2 it's Jazzy's surgery date. Yayyy for us both

  4. #202

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    many profuse apologies murph. i thought it was the 26th of november (that's our moving day) and was SSSOOOO proud i remembered ONE date this month lol. Fine, shatter my confidence and self-esteem hahahaha

    Wow, that's a great coincidence ie her due date and her op date and of course my bub's scan date!

    And isn't 8 a lucky number in chinese (remember the olympics 08.08.08).

    i reckon this wait for you is even worse than the dreaded tww!!

    do you think you are ready, emotionally? do you have your zen place for when they take her for the surgery and it's scary, and hard to let and and exciting all at once? I can't imagine what it must take to muster the courage you are showing and the extra you will need on 08/11/10.

    whoa... man....sorry brain fart. gotta stop being so friendly and nice to murph!!

  5. #203

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    You call making me cry friendly??? What do you do to your enemies Hmm, the Zen place is a bit concealed and we haven't gone there yet. You notice when people really need to talk is the times when they stop talking? Well that's where I am. I can't describe it but it's like how you put it and I took a huge deep breath in when I read it. I confront realities one little bit at a time (like when I was pregnant, whoa nelly, it took me 8 months to look at the bits in the book that describe the birth process, epidurals and all that good gear). Yeah, it's really going to knock me about. It was bad enough when I had to send her off to sleep for her anaesthetic for the scans but this is yep, really really scary and DH will be a great big sook because...well men and their little girls. It should all be over in 5 hours and that's the decision we've made so we just have to get through it and think of the amazing benefits. The grim reality is that we are taking a perfect baby and putting her through surgery that has risks and that is really hard to come to terms with but brave or stupid, we think the benefits outweigh the risks if you know what I mean. Hmm, is it dusty in here or what? Oh that's right, I've been cutting up onions

  6. #204

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    well girls my work here is done. made murph cry on her berfday.
    any1 else want 2 add me to their friend's list. i'm a doozy!

    seriously tho murph, for my book. you are brave and you are giving your girl a whole new element that her life otherwise wouldn't have! and you'd be crazy not to try! you already know what to expect re the anasethtic and how she'll react so taht's covered. Now you just need a good support person to keep you and DH grounded and occupied for the 5 hrs! AND remember if the clock hits exactly 5 hrs and there's no doc showing up at the door DON'T FREAK OUT. or at least think of me saying "now don't worry, they'll come and tell you if something is wrong.

    oh my dear, sending you a birthday hug (followed by a swift finger to the ribs to get a giggle after tears).

    Oh and you know you can vent/talk/whinge/whine/insulate yourself here. Pretty sure only I will make a sarcastic joke at your expense

    ox

  7. #205

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    Well I'm not going to tell you it's Jazzy's birthday on Friday, what an easy target!!

    Just had me a huge win with "the Good Guys" so turned my frown upside down and vented on some poor unsuspecting soul who offered me profuse apologies and gave me $250 discount. I expected nothing less but it's good to get what you deserve after a good old whinge where you've been hard done by and it's your birthday and Grub made you cry and the mean salesman wouldn't sell me my video camera at the previously discounted price (and it was their fault). Deep breaths... did they want to hear my rant cos I was ready but I kept it succinct and shamed them into action. Yay, now we can video Jazzy.

    Well I'm off to subscribe to a new bhuddist mag and find my calm place...ohm

  8. #206

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    Oh my, you guys need a private room...

    Murph, happy birthday. Aside from tears and ranting, hope it was a good one.
    I can't imagine the anxiety of sending my little boy off to surgery I'm sure you've made a good decision and she will be so happy you've made it for her.

    8s are very, very lucky (in China anyway).

    I'll be thinking of the both of you on the 8th

  9. #207

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    Well I have an exam tomorrow morning and am supposed to be studying, so here I am!

    Thanks to all your kind words to me regarding the shipping container....means a lot.....isn't it strange what can make you happy.

    Happy Birthday Murph! Sorry the Grubster made you cry, but give her a break she's UTD! And if it makes any difference, you made me cry with your votes of confidence for me.....so there! Huge hugs of support coming your way for you, Jazzy and DH for the 8th. You can be sure we will be all thinking of you, as well as Grub with her scan xxx.

    Hi Marcellus, hope you are feeling well?

    Saph, huge effort with the trampoline! Be careful.

    Big hello to all out there in bubba land!

    Some news...sort of.....DH and I seem to have made a huge move forward in our relationship and I cannot believe that he brought this up as a subject, but we are thinking seriously of using our one remaining frostie bub early next year...he phrased it as not feeling as though he can just let it defrost or go to science, it could be a potential 'Adam'. Neither of is feel that we particularly need a 2nd baby (sorry if that offends anyone) but be both feel the same about the embie. We would like to give it a go without the high hope of it working IYKWIM. The issues though; it might work, look at some of us in this forum! Am i ready for that, will our house be ready? If it doesn't work, what am I going to feel? Becasue that will really be it for us...or is this going to build me up and up again to get me to the point of wanting a baby so badly I could die? Bit scared frankly, and it feels easier to just keep paying the money to keep him/her frozen. Conundrum.

  10. #208

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    Grub & Murph: You guys need to get a room seriously....lol... Grub it must be those pregnancy hormones turning you soft or something, although you still managed to get your usual wise crack in as well...

    Murph: Big Happy Birthday for yesterday and you know that I'll be thinking of you on the 8th and can't wait until you tell us all "it was a success" and that Jazzy can hear yours & DH's voice.

    Neptune: WOW, big decision to make for sure. We were in the same position with these FET's as we still had 8 frosties after Tara although we always knew we wanted 1 more. Now with the twins on the way and still with 3 frosties we have already discussed that we can't go back again after this go so even if there is another baby one ice, me physically and us finacially can't do 4 children. But before we had success I always had in the back of my mind the what if's and would I prefer to have failures to use all the embryo's to know if there was another baby or not and then be happy with Tara as an only child. It is such a hard decision and if only we could see into the future to know if it is the right one to make. Big hugs to you on what you choose.

    Hi to everyone else...

    Well as you can see from my new ticker photo... Bubble and Squeak are growing nicely yesterday twin 1 was measuring to dates and twin 2 1 day behind, so Ob all happy with progress, and it seems m/s has gone as well (touch wood). We are hoping to get to 38 weeks for a scheduled c/s and my Ob would like to see both babies in excess of 6lbs each...WTF... Tara was born at 38+3 weighing 7lb's and I was so big it was ridiculous. If his prediction comes true by the end I'm sure my theme tune will be "The Baby Elephant Walk", Murph maybe me posting picks of my growing belly will be enough to put you off for sure.... Apart from that Tara is getting cheekier by the day and is now trying to stand by herself without support, mmmm me thinks she will be running in no time. I also think she is going through another growth spurt as last night she slept from 7pm until 10.20am this morning, I'm trying to hold her out until about 2pm today for her nap to hope that she sleeps so well again tonight.

    Anyway better get moving and check on the sneaky one as it has gone very quiet in the lounge room.....

  11. #209

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    Hello ladies, we're back!

    Well we've been back for over a week now but finding the time to get online has been a problem. I have plenty of time during the day to read posts on my iPhone (when Finn is asleep on me!!!) but much harder to respond. And I so very much wanted to say a huge
    CONGRATULATIONS to Grub, so very exciting! I know what you mean about the freaking out - I think it's so ingrained in us to think the worst that when it actually works we've no idea how to handle it! Sounds like you're handling it just beautifully though

    And more congrats to Kelly on your twins!!!!! How fantastic that they both stuck, yay for you guys! What a huge sleep Tara had - what did you do and how do I do it too?!?!

    And even more cheers for Murph (well Jazzy really) on the operation being so soon. What a scary exciting time for your family, what amazing times you'll have with Jazzy, oh i'm tearing up just thinking about it!

    Neptune - GL with your exam tomorrow! I do admire you for being able to focus on your exam when you have so much else happening. As you say, I think it's much easier to keep paying money for storage than to actually make a decision so hoping yours isn't too difficult for you.

    Big hello to everyone else. I've got to type quickly while Finn is actually asleep and not on me - oh here we go, he's waking now. Spoke too soon clearly...

  12. #210

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    Neptune, I have to say that I completely understand where you are coming from in relation to using the last embryo. We have two. But the reality is that I seriously doubt my health could stand another pregnancy. I have severe rheumatoid arthritis which got heaps worse after Sam was born and we can't seem to find a medication that works well enough to make me good again. I have had to completely give up work and am now on a disability pension. Today is one of the days where I am in so much pain I'm actually scared of being home alone with Sam (DH will leave for work in a few minutes). I'm quite content and happy to have just Sam and don't feel the need for another child... but we have two frozen embryos. I needed three different drugs just to stay pregnant with Sam, and I could always not take them... but don't think I could live with myself if they implanted and I miscarried - would feel as though I had killed them myself. Of course, there's also the issue that we can barely afford to keep them frozen let alone use them as with me being so sick and having to stop work we had a HUGE cut in income. But just as difficult as that would be having another child, having the RA get even worse again and me ending up so that I can't even get out of bed. One way seems really unfair to our frozen embryos, the other way seems really unfair to Sam (and them as well!).

    Anyway, you certainly aren't alone... and with how bad things are, I really can't type more today.

    BW

  13. #211

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    BW I too can sympathise with you. I am still in so much pain from my pelvis that I wouldnt even consider having anymore. I have actually been told that I should never be pregnant again. But then I am in a different situation to you both i have my 2 boys, but if I only had one I could say that I couldnt do this again. There are days when I still cant walk. I dread the thought of going shopping, or even taking the kids to the park. I took Cmapbell in the pool on Tues and was in so much pain that it put me in bed for the rest of the day. I can only hope that you can find some drugs that help.

    Well on a poor poor pityful me note. I'v have had a crappy week, other than me feeling like my body is failing me. Took Xavier to the doc because he has popped a hearnia, so we have made an appointment with the pead surgeon. He is the head of surgery at PMH our childrens hospital. Only to ask for Campbells kindney ultrasound results thinking they will be fine ( He has had 2 uti since July so had ultrasound just to check. Radiologist said everything looked fine) well his kidneys are very small. The right under the 10th percentile for his age and the left under the 15th. This would be fine if his height was around here but his height is on the 91st percentile. Dont know what is going to happen but we have to take him to see a pead kidney specialist. If it dont rain it hails.

    Hope everyone is doing well, gotta go get ready to go to the physio for a bit more tourture.

  14. #212

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    HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY SWEET JAZZY LU. YAYYYYY, YOU'RE 1 TODAY. XOX

    Some pics for you to see Smithy if you are in the neighbourhood. Party Pics tonight. xox

    Angela Bengsen's Photos | Facebook

  15. #213

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    Happy birthday Jaz hope you have a lovely day.

  16. #214

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    Happy Birthday Jazzy! Wow 1 already - my time has flown.

    Hope you have a wonderful day and I am sure you will get spoilt rotten!

    Janie and Jasmine xxx

  17. #215

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    Happy birthday!

  18. #216

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    Happy 1st Birthday Jazzy, I'm sure mummy & daddy will spoil you rotten

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