Parenting after LTTTC #2

[onthefly]

Hi all
Hope you and your bubs are all doing well!

Went to FS on Monday to do some advance planning - looks like we'll be FETing in February... Have to do HRT cycle, with pills & pessaries - I think i'd rather injections

Getting some sleep here at the moment as we've dropped out of daycare. Wish we'd just listened to our instincts and never started - it really wasn't the right thing for A. The torture is over now at least.

M&H&B and FG and other newbies - hope you are settling in to parenting and enjoying your precious little ones.

[Shannon22]

Hey lovely ladies

It seems like forever since i posted but blah need to get something off my chest and i dont know where else to post it... So DH and I started our first IVf cycle for #3 this month after waiting 50 days for AF to arrive which was just torture. So we go in pay, get the drugs etc excited happy optimistic.. inject inject inject twice a day and then our first scan yesterday and.... 1 measly egg! women do this every month! I took all those nasty drugs and got 1 stinkin egg! So suffice to say cycle is cancelled and we have to decide when/if we want to go again. The bit that is making me the most cranky is i have to keep up the drugs to trigger etc when its not going to get me any closer to our next beautiful bundle. I feel extremely selfish considering i have two beautiful/gorgeous babies who are about to turn 1 next month and am really the luckiest woman alive i guess i just didn't expect it to hit so hard and hurt so much this time with such a complete failure of a cycle.. our worste ever.

Sorry for the completely self involved post i didn't know where else to put it cos i feel bad for being upset when so many beautiful friends are still struggling to get 1 beautiful baby and we are after #3.

Hope you are all fantastic... and lets kick start this thread again

Shan
xx

[Lenny]

Awww Shan that sux. I'm so sorry hun. I really don't know what to say. You're not selfish at all. Yes, you have two beautiful darlings, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't feel gutted by this cycle. It must have been a nasty shock.

marcellus - yuk, why are you doing an HRT cycle?? It's all a bit exciting though isn't it! Little A is going to be a big brother

You both made me feel lucky again...how many people get a BFP from a natural FET.

Farmgirl - i hope things are getting better for you.

So, where IS everyone else...???

[briggsy's girl]

I is here - just not posting much! been a bit quiet around here - posting in general threads but not so much the parenting ones (go figure!)

[onthefly]

Shannon, I was just thinking of you the other day, remembering that you were thinking of going back for number 3.
So sorry your cycle was crap. That really sucks.

Don't feel bad to feel bad - it's perfectly understandable. Wanting more doesn't mean you don't appreciate what you already have.

I really hope that this was just a one-off bad experience. Sometimes it's just about good or ****ty luck, you know? Our first cycle we ended up with zero eggs. Then the next one we got A.

I almost wanted to ask about doing a tracking cycle - i think i'm ovulating. But I rarely did before, so that's why HRT, I presume. Most likely they just want to manage it as much as possible in any case. My bf did this a while back (has her little girl now ) and it just sucked how she had to take soo many pills & pessaries, three times a day.... oh well. it's all worth it I guess.

Hi all

[TaRhLi.]

Hi All

Just popping in to introduce myself, I know some of the girls in here already from the LTTTC and Pregnancy Thread and have now graduated myself.

Our beautiful Princess TARA ROSE was born on Monday 12th October, weighing 3200 grams (7lbs) via elective c/s. The c/s was my decision due to some bladder issues, but during delivery they also found that I was placenta previa anyway so the best outcome all round.

I have been home since last Saturday and seem to be coping well. She is an absolute dream baby and only crys when she wants feeding. Hopefully over the next however long, I can share my parenting experiences with you all and most importantly learn some things along the way.

Anyway, better go and get some housework done while Tara is sleeping.

[onthefly]

Hi Kelly and welcome over here to the other side
Gosh that's lucky about the placenta, isn't it?

Glad to hear you're going well - do shout out if you have any probs or worries. And definately let us know all about your gorgeous daughter.

Here's my first bit of advice - don't do housework!

[Shannon22]

Welcome Kelly and hueg congratulations on Tara Sounds like you had the best possible outcome for you both!

Lol i agree with Marcellus no housework! :P

Thanks for the ears the other day ladies i really appreciate it.

Oh and Marcellus huge congrats on the mod role!! Absolutely perfect fit with you and Lenny running the place we are in great hands!!

I also had the hugest scare today with the kids..went to the bathroom came back Julia is eating a dorito and then i realised they also smashed my glass and Owen was sucking on a broken peice of glass (heart attack and a half!) and then whilst i am cleaning the glass up i notice Julia is missing.... she went through the safety gate and was sitting on the back deck at the top of the stairs with the dog! I need a drink....

Hi to all.

Shan
xx

[onthefly]

Oh no Shannon - now I need a drink!
I know it won't make you feel any bettr, but I once found DS sucking on.... fibreglass. I don't know where it came from

Thanks - trust me, I'm not running anything

[Lenny]

with you and Lenny running the place we are in great hands!!

LOL - running around like crazies

Hi Kelly, welcome to you and to Tara too. Hope things are settling in nicely for you.

Shan - you are a legend for coping with two toddlers. I can't imagine how hard that is. hope you are feeling a little better

[nic]

Shannon, sorry to hear about your cycle..hope next one is better Your twins sound like they are having a ball distracting mum while the other gets into mischief! This week here, we have also been putting naughty things in our moouth, like Sudocream!! He thought it was fantastic, me I had a heart attack as well i think.

Marcellus, exciting news about your FET..Won't be long, christmas is around the corner, then it will be february! Just think, this time next year you could be in your third trimester.

Kelly, Congrats on the arrival of Tara Rose. Hope you are recovering well.

Big hello's to everyone else. Not much happening here...DS is like i said, experimenting with new flavours.. Sudocream, AA batteries, biro caps, Books, DVD's... DH suggested ringing the FS who did our transfer and ask if there was any well behaved embies or were they all little devils Next time he wants a good one, or a refund lol. He was describing to his brother the other day what DS is like with a favourite activity of his, which is standing on the side of the lounge grabbing the DVD's from the bookcase and hurling them across the room..He says, "Oh bro, it's like something from those Poltergeist movies, the DVD's are flying everywhere and there is this evil little giggle while we are screaming NO NO NO" It's funny, because it's so true..

Sleep is starting to slowly improve....getting about 3-4 hours, wake for a feed then anywhere up to another 5 hours after that.

[onthefly]

Your DS sounds delightfully wicked . IT's so hard to be serious when they giggle, isn't it?
So, you planning No.3 already?

Glad the sleep is improving. We seem to have turned a corner here.... most nights he's only really waking once or twice and he actually didn't get up till 6:45 this morning, which is some sort of record compared to 5, 5:30 usually. I put alfoil on his windows yesterday - had to lock him out of his room cause he insisted on chewing on bits of foil....

[nic]

Talking about #3 at the moment.. Something we have to give a little extra consideration too because our embies are about 1000 klms away from us, as well as the FS, because their satellite FS (200klms away from here) has retired. So we would have to look at possibly moving them to the other clinic closer to us...not sure I want to do that though??
Another child would mean another room, we currently don't have. With DD turning 10 next month, I think she needs her own space, and DS's room isn't big enough for another person. It's a battle of heart versus practical brain at the moment.
Far out at your wake up time of 5-5.30am! Good to hear that the alfoil seems to have done the trick with getting a a little more sleep

[onthefly]

Wow - some tricky logistics! Is the other clinic not so good, or you're just unsure about the move?

I thought about changing clinics, but it seemed a bit daunting to up sticks like that so decided to try a different FS instead. He seems ok from our first meeting, so will see how we go.

Heart vs brain - which will win...? In these matters I find it's generally the heart. You know if you have another baby, somehow or other everything will work out.

I spoke too soon about A's sleep. He's back to needing company most of the night. sigh. Maybe it's the next lot of teeth.

[farmgirl77]

Hello all,
I have been popping in and out but not posting much cause I dont know really what to post...so here goes. I've been struggling a bit with DS and the whole being a mum thing - DS has not been sleeping much during day (just crys when I put him in the cot and then gets over tired), and has sever ezcema which I've been trying to get under control. I've scored higher than the 'professionals' like on the PND tests and so now I'm trying to work out if I have PND or am just suffering from lack of sleep (although DS has started sleeping well at night) plus trying to deal with a few other things like a close relative dying of cancer (mum just rang me to say that the relative had gone into a coma but the last thing she had said was that our DS was the most beautiful baby) and my mum! I am just finding the transition from work to motherhood hard - esp not having any control over my day and not being able to 'achieve' much! Anyway, I feel bad for feeling like this when we have been so lucky to have our little baby when there are so many people who are still waiting. DH does not think that I have PND - thinks that I've been sad/upset etc the whole time of doing IVF!

Anyway, that's my rant. I'm sorry I've not caught up with personals, but I hope that I can spend a bit more time here if DS starts sleeping!
FG

[butterfly_warrior]

Farmgirl, don't feel bad about how you feel and the fact that you are honest enough to express it. I think we all struggled with the transition to motherhood at first (and to be honest, there are still some days where I find it really hard). I can't type up a long response at the moment as I'm trying to get Sam to sleep (still needs to be wrapped and cuddled, but we do it cos it works), but I couldn't leave your post without replying, however briefly. I can really relate to how you're going... reminds me so much of how we were in the early days.

BW

[farmgirl77]

Thank BW - it is good to know that this is 'normal' what ever that is! Hope that you got Sam to sleep

[Lenny]

Oh FG - big hugs I wish I could say something to make it all better.
You might have PND - it's awesome that you are at least admitting to things not quite being right.
I have to agree with you that those first months can be so so hard. I am an organised, busy person, who loved her job and loved getting results and acheiving goals. I hated myself for not getting the bed made or the dinner cooked or the washing hung out. I had a baby who slept for 10 mins at a time - how could i ever get anything done!!! I cried a lot, I felt like a huge failure.
All the other mum's in my mum's group had their mum's over to help, or their husbands doing night feeds or something. I just quietly drowned in the corner and pretended everything was fine.
But things improved for me and I did get better at admitting that 'things' weren't so important to do. Feeding DS, feeding myself, and going for a walk each day (with a screaming baby usually!) ... those were my goals, and if I ticked them off, then it was a good day.
I remember marcellus jokingly said one day that going out to the letterbox was a successful trip out of the house. Some days are like that. And no-one really prepares you for it. And well-meaning people tell you not to worry about the dishes, or the vacuuming or the fact that you haven't done your hair - but it doesn't make you feel any better.

Don't feel bad - we put higher expectations on ourselves because we fought so hard to have these wonderful bubs. But you shouldn't. In fact we should probably expect for things to be even harder emotionally after all the heartache of IVF.

For what it's worth DS sleeps for 9.5/10 hours every night now! I think that's my pay off for all the sleepness in the first 12 months!

I can only offer you big hugs and I hope you can find some time to really see what a success you are every day - just by feeding your little DS and rocking him off to sleep in your arms. Truly, nothing else matters.