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Thread: Pregnancy after miscarriage or loss ~ July 2010

  1. #217

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    Angelfish: YAY on the movement! How was the trip?




    AFM: LOVELY queensland WEATHER WE are having here! Sunny and warm! How is it where ever you are??

  2. #218

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    Tegam - you, my friend, are just amazing. Thankyou for all your support and encouragement. And who brought the Melbourne weather to Qld? It's overcast, a touch chilly ( for Qld) and breezy... where did that sun go?

    Ferrals - I agree with Tegam.... if going to hide under a rock is what you need to do to get through the next 3 weeks, then so be it... and if having melt downs is another way, so be it. That's what we are here for. And just because you and DH knew and considered the risks, it doesn't make it any less scary or your emotions any easier to deal with. It's ok to be scared. Don't be so hard on yourself..... I just want to give you the biggest hug ever. Anyway, as T said, the only way forward is one moment at a time, and right now, despite your fears and your worries, you have a precious little bundle growing inside... you are nuturing a miracle and that is just the best. I have every confidence you can make it through the next 3 weeks.

    HLP - Oh my sweet, I can't believe we are thinking almost the same. And amazingly I didn't think what I thought to be a really selfish post would in fact help anyone else. I am so glad I shared now. I am so so sad you feel the same way too. It's very draining.

    We had a our last ante-natal class last night and the middie facilitating the course arranged for a 4 day old little girl to come in. OMG she, the baby, was just so divinely perfect and seeing her has at least given me something to picture in my mind, and a different picture to the one that plays endlessly in my mind now. I just wanted to nurse her and smell her and hold her close. But then again, that's pretty common for me anyway. The middie said last week she would try and arrange for a real baby to visit. I was worried that DH hadn't seen a newborn since our wee ones, but after we spoke about it, he had. I didn't want him to be totally unprepared for any emotions which might have surfaced. Not that you can ever really prepare, but at least if you've thought about it, it's not such a surprise. The really cool thing? He was equally as besotted as I was by someone else's baby. For him, it just really focused his excitement. I can close my eyes, and right now, I can imagine holding our little one, healthy and alive. And right now, for this moment, that's a pretty amazing thing. I can't always summon that positivity, but it is nice to feel it at least for now. And the mother, she just looked so radiant and glowing and beautiful. The Dad was pretty chuffed too and was really keen to answer as many questions as he could. It's just so nice that they got such a happy ending. It can happen.

    Murray - how are you going? No more migranes?

    Kit - how are you going?

    Angel - good that you're back and survived camping. Glad the flutters have started. Way cool.

    Hmm, I have such a case of tiredness and preggie brain that I can't remember much else. But hello to the recent escapees from the TTC thread - why are you so quiet? Teni - how are you doing? You must be about 10 weeks now? Hello to anyone I have missed and I know I have. Belly rubs.

  3. #219

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    Hello Ladies!!!

    sorry to have been absent for so long.
    We have been having HUGE computer dramas - it really is on it's last legs. We have ordered a replacement, but not sure if it will arrive before this one bites the dust!

    SOOOO many posts to catch up on, but big hello's to everyone. Ihaven't gone too far back with the persies, so I am very sorry if I missed anyone!

    Mildez, I think we are all scared in some way or another about all different aspects of our pg, so don't think you will be judged here hon!

    Ferrals - I see you have had one scan already (Gee I did miss alot) is there one in there or two? I have missed your preggo porn posts - are there any good ones I should go back for? LOL!!
    and as for your melt-down - echo what the others have said.

    Mildez - yay for the spew!! Everytime I told my Dr how sick I was, he would say "that's fantastic!" only in pg can we really appreciate the true joy of a vommie! LOL!

    Murraycod - wierd pg dreams oh yeah, I had one where the world was getting taken over by robots (WTF???) but fortunately they weren't waterproof, so we were able to fight them by pouring our cups of tea on them! (double WTF??) It sounds SSOOOO ridiculous, but when I woke up the night I dreamt it, I was REALLY distressed!

    Dory - how is your kitty after his treatment? I bet you are glad to have him home! That's good news that you don't have pre-eclampsia! Please don't ever feel bad for having a "me" post. You have been through so much, it is only natural to feel concerned and have worries. Especially at this point, I have been having them too. If I stop feeling Spud move, then I keep poking until s/he moves again, just to make sure.

    Dory & HPL - We're almost at the end of the road - we'll make it.
    Then, we'll be panicking about SIDS; falling of thier bike; then going to school; under-age drinking; driving (and all those other things that Ferrals highlighted to me a couple of weeks ago when I was having a "moment").

    AFM - well, I finish work this week, and all I can think of is ABOUT TIME! I can't believe I thought I would be superwoman and go to 2 weeks before my due date All is good, Spud is a little small, but growing well, just at the smaller end of average (ie not a basket-baller, but neither DH nor I are tall). Ob is not worried so that is good. We thought at first Spud might come "late" due to the scan dates, but the head is already engaged, and my Ob said with glee "This baby won't be late!!" so it is getting quite exciting now!! Nursery ready, bag packed, now if only DH and I could agree on some names!! Neither of us like any of the names that the other does, so "Spud" may very well end up Spud after all! LOL!

    sorry to any of the other ladies I have missed, and belly rubs everyone!!

  4. #220

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    Ferrals: I agree as well - whatever you and DH need to do to get through the next 3 weeks, you do it! We're here for you no matter what...

    Dory: My DP read your post as well and it made him understand so much better what was going on in my head. Honestly, you have been a god send in my pregnancy when it comes to my and DP sometimes it's hard for me to explain how/why I'm feeling a certain way, having him read it from another womans perspective really helps us get through the tough times....

    Milly5: I am sooooo jealous that you are almost finished work, I have 8 working days til I'm done - 10th of Sept is my last day, naughty of me though - one MW has suggested that I may even go as early as the 11th of Sept - whoops... I'm still going strong though, only working 3days a week..... so looking forward to it....

    AFM: My girlfriend suprised me and DH with a visit to Precious Previews - 4D Imaging as the other half to our Baby Shower Present.. I am so very happy to say SHE is definately a SHE.. She has the chubbiest cheeks EVER!! and big plump lips like her Daddy... It just made things so much easier for me to think more positive after we saw her, the woman who did the ultrsound also suggested she may come sooner than her Sept 24 due date.... so lets hope she comes AFTER the 10th, I'll be happy with that - it's not too far away at all....

  5. #221

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    Hopepostivelove-your so lucky to have seen your healthy baby girl during the 4-d scan.

    Milly5 - sometimes the name comes to you when you see your baby for the frist time. sometimes its very hard to agree on a name but it will come natural.

    Dory- happy to see that you only have a month left. I know it must seem like an enternity. You have been one of the voices of reason when i have been so franic just wanted to say thankyou.

    I have hid under a rock during this trip many times. Sometimes its a very safe place

    My camping trip went by great, we were getting day after day here of hot weather but were we went camping it was much cooler which is good becosue as soon as i feel pg i could not stand the heat. When we got back home we must have brought the cooler weather back. Its looks like fall here which is my favorite seson. But i have come down with a slight cold which i think i got from my b/f children becosue one or the other is sick.

    A bit a of a rant i know that i have complained about his children but i hosently love his children to death. His youngest one in the past has done this but not as bad as what she was doing this trip. She gets upset over everything but now she starts to hostly cry and say " i cant do anything right at all" and no one can comfort her. Her mom when she was with my b/f was very emotional abusive towards him. I did the best i could to try to help but nothing would work. she is now 9 any ideas?

    I wish that the doubt and the worry would go away. I am so worried that i am not going to be able to bring this one home. I have already made up my mind being 33 and trying for so long that i will not try again if something goes wrong.

  6. #222

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    Hi guys, thought it was about time I joined this group. Spent a bit of time in the TTC one a few months ago, but just couldn't keep up and it made me so depressed knowing how many of us were struggling to get preg and stay preg.

    I don't know how often I'll be in, but I'll try my hardest to stick around.

    A bit about me:

    I have a 20month old DS, and prior to having him I lost 4 precious angels, all before 8wks.
    This year I have lost another 2 angels, both before 6wks, and now I am at 9wks 1d! So technically I'm past my "safe" mark, but I won't feel safe until I get past 20wks.

    This pregnancy is also high risk for me as I have cephalo-pelvic disproportion, had a c-section with DS, braxton hicks that start early (before 16wks) and pretend to be real labour, and also because of the early losses.
    We have already had 2 scares with this pregnancy - one at approx 6wks where I slipped in the bath which set off a round of cramping, and again last weekend where had a bit of brown spotting one morning and was cramping constantly for 3 weeks prior and all weekend. Thankfully an ultrasound showed that everything was going well and bub was developing/growing normally.

    So anyway, enough about me. I look forward to geting to know you all and sharing this amazing and scary journe with you all!

  7. #223

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    Hi, I'm 5 weeks pregnant with bub no3 (or 4w 4 days pregnant if going off ovulation) I had a chemical pregnancy last month. Feel a little stressed out about the whole pregnancy thing and whether it will continue hence the going off ovulation as dont want to get too excited and ahead of myself.
    Had a blood test last thurs showed levels 35 and monday (4days later) levels were 347 so I at least have that to be hopeful about.
    Not quite ready for a BB group, feeling it may just jinx me so felt this may be where I belong for now.
    Hope you dont mind me joining your thread.

  8. #224

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    Thanks girls you are all my life lines.

    Tegam-words of wisdom now if only i can put them into action.
    I do like the rock idea lol.

    Angelfish-woohoo! on bubs moving.

    Dory-awww not long and you will be holding you sweet tiny bundle in your arms.

    Milly-they only saw one baby but the doc didnt really look he just did a quick scan for a HB and dating and sent us on our way i hope there is only one healthy one in there.
    There has been plenty of prego porn in my house but nothing extrodinary to post about lol not yet anyway.
    And so close for you a name will come to you when you look into your babies eyes.

    Hope.positive.love-what a lovely thing your friend did.

    Jennajayen-welcome there a a lot of us that have very real concerns with our pregnancies so you are not alone there.

    Mum22-welcome to you also looking forward to get to know you and jennajayen.

    AFM-I have read what everyone has said you are all so good to me complaining and worrying all the time.
    I was sitting at work going over in my mind what the geneticist said to me the last time i spoke to him you have a 3 in 4 chance that this baby will be normal than it hit home we had a 3 in 4 chance that Abbi would have been normal and she wasnt and then we had a 3 in 4 chance that our PDG IVF embryo would have tested normal and it didnt WTF!
    With the odd's suposedly in our favour 75% for a good outcome why is it we were unlucky twice so i got four 5 cent pieces and put a dot of liquid paper on one of them and turned them over so i couldnt see it and mixed them around the one with the dot was a sick baby and the other 3 were normal babies then i went about mixing them around and picking one each time i picked a healthy one out of 10 goes i only picked the one with the dot once so when you have 3 chances out of 4 to get a healthy one how is it we got the bad one twice in real life is our bad gene so strong it just over powers the good ones i am so stressed the odds are on our side but so far have failed us twice will it be 3rd time lucky.
    God what i would give for some answers

  9. #225

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    Mum22, welcome to the group

    Ferrals - Oh darl, you're having such a hard time at the moment *hugs* I remember my shock when they told me my first baby wouldn't live past birth... No 17 year old should ever be told that, and I thought it was hard for me then. You have the harder time of it, but I have a feeling deep down that everything will be ok for you. This was my 3rd time lucky, and it will be your 3rd time lucky too!
    You can tell I'm trying to remain positive here, too many things go through your mind when you're told early on that you're *this* far away from being put on bed rest before you even reach 10wks, so I have to stay positive or I'd go crazy! On the upside, so far it's working

    Try not to stress too much abou your levels, they look really good to me
    With this pregnancy my levels were 29 at my first BT exactly on 5wks from LMP (corrected dates were 4wk 1d according to dating scan), and at my second one exactly 14 days later they were 15,701.
    My m/c in January was a chemical as well, really stressed me out when I got preg again in March, and when that ended too I just didn't think I'd ever be able to carry another baby.
    My hubby says that sometimes these things happen for a reason, either because you're not ready or your body wasn't quite ready yet even if you were, and that you are stronger than before because of what you have been through. It has given you the strength to keep going even when you're ready to give in and when you're hurting more than anything, and even when you're scared.

    hth's
    Sending lots of sticky vibes your way!
    Last edited by JennaJayen; August 25th, 2010 at 08:16 AM.

  10. #226

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    ferrals: I've been lurking but I really had to post. It's really ok to freak out, but you have to remember that, like the coin flipping, there is just a 25% chance that things won't be ok. I have a disease in my wrist that only affects 1 in 250 000 people (usually to gymnasts and tradies that use jackhammers etc), yet it happened to me for no particular reason. No one can explain why and no one knows why my left wrist is perfectly fine either but it's been 10yrs and I have no indication of any issues with it. Sometimes things just happen, and we'll never know why, but we can't let the fear of it happening again control us. Like Kit said, it's a FEAR not a certainty. We can only deal with what has happened, and so far you have a perfectly healthy baby that, to all indications, is growing very well.

    Wow... I should really swallow my own pill! I've reading all the posts but lurking because even though everything is going well I still haven't made it past 10 weeks and I'm still scared I will lose this one as well.

  11. #227

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    Quote Originally Posted by ferrals4 View Post
    Thanks girls you are all my life lines.

    Tegam-words of wisdom now if only i can put them into action.
    I do like the rock idea lol.

    Angelfish-woohoo! on bubs moving.

    Dory-awww not long and you will be holding you sweet tiny bundle in your arms.

    Milly-they only saw one baby but the doc didnt really look he just did a quick scan for a HB and dating and sent us on our way i hope there is only one healthy one in there.
    There has been plenty of prego porn in my house but nothing extrodinary to post about lol not yet anyway.
    And so close for you a name will come to you when you look into your babies eyes.

    Hope.positive.love-what a lovely thing your friend did.

    Jennajayen-welcome there a a lot of us that have very real concerns with our pregnancies so you are not alone there.

    Mum22-welcome to you also looking forward to get to know you and jennajayen.

    AFM-I have read what everyone has said you are all so good to me complaining and worrying all the time.
    I was sitting at work going over in my mind what the geneticist said to me the last time i spoke to him you have a 3 in 4 chance that this baby will be normal than it hit home we had a 3 in 4 chance that Abbi would have been normal and she wasnt and then we had a 3 in 4 chance that our PDG IVF embryo would have tested normal and it didnt WTF!
    With the odd's suposedly in our favour 75% for a good outcome why is it we were unlucky twice so i got four 5 cent pieces and put a dot of liquid paper on one of them and turned them over so i couldnt see it and mixed them around the one with the dot was a sick baby and the other 3 were normal babies then i went about mixing them around and picking one each time i picked a healthy one out of 10 goes i only picked the one with the dot once so when you have 3 chances out of 4 to get a healthy one how is it we got the bad one twice in real life is our bad gene so strong it just over powers the good ones i am so stressed the odds are on our side but so far have failed us twice will it be 3rd time lucky.
    God what i would give for some answers
    Sadly 1:4 pregnancies will end in MC the odds dont work that if you have had three MC all will be ok Math and statistic suck more now days than they did in high school hey!

    I know what you mean about 1:4 but for you its more.... I had a 1:200000 chance of having my ectopic! Gee woofreakinghoo, do i win something. What a dumb thing to say to someone! I have had 5pregnancies so it was 1:5 for me. I have had 6 pregnancies now and 2 have ended badly and this one isnt earthside so thats 1:3! I HATE being labled and i HATE odds. You can go stick them up your bum Dr!

    Anyway a bit of a pointless rant

    Big hugs to you and hello to all the new girls!

  12. #228

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    Ferrals: Stats suck, when I lost Splat I was thinking of all the other women in the world who got good news at their scan, and wondering why I had to be in the 40% who didn't. I was also thinking that if I could just get a bubba with a heartbeat then oh how relaxed I would be! Now I've got Tiger kicking away and I still feel very nervous and very aware of odds regarding loss (research is not always a good thing!). You've had some hugely crappy luck hun, but if 100 women were in your position then 75 of them would be walking away with healthy babies, I think your in the 75 this time. You'll be taking a gorgeous healthy baby home. (and it's just a fear, not a certainty)

    MsKara: Funny how awesome advice is so much easier to give than take? Lol! Congrats on 9 weeks babe, every day is a step closer and everyday the odds get better (but odds can bugger off anyway).

    Jenna Jayen: Awesome numbers! Well done hon, I'm so glad to see you in here, I remember you from my first posts in TTC 1-6 months! Eep, so long ago!

    Mum22: I was 16 or so weeks before I joined a BB group, and 12 weeks before I managed to post here! The computer and your uterus have no secret communication going on, and nothing bad will happen if you post! Trust me, I speak from experience! Very glad to have another escapee here

    Milly5: Eeeeee! So close now! Can't wait to hear your BA!

    Angelfish: Sorry it's been stressful xo

    HPL: That's such a sweet present, glad you got to see your bubba again!

    AFM: After trying so hard to get Tiger in there I'm slowly realising that one way or another he has to come out! I'm still scared about what could go wrong, but in an effort to get to know my boy and enjoy my pregnancy - I made these lists - these are the things Tiger likes: Apples (he kicks away super happy 5 minutes after I eat one), the sound of DH's voice (he does somersaults when DH comes home and starts talking), the election campaign (seriously, was watching it Sat night before it became clear that it was gonna take weeks and weeks to resolve and he was dancing away in there!), 5 am (he loooooves 5 am, wakes me up every morning! Me, not such a big fan). Things he doesn't like: George (my furbaby) kneading him, when George settles down to sleep I usually get a big kick or two, like he's checking the mean cat is gone, lol, DH trying to feel kicks just after I've said ''Oooh he's kicking!'' (he gets all quiet and as soon as DH moves his hand, BAM, back to kickers) and he doesn't like Cows. I know this because when I had MS there was a cadbury ad of a cow playing soccer or something and as soon as it came on I'd wanna hurl, even now when I look at cows/cow prints I feel a bit sick. So, Tiger, not a fan of cows.

    This may not be the most scientifically created list, but I've decided it's all true, and I'm sticking to it!

  13. #229

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    Quote Originally Posted by dory View Post
    Tegam - you, my friend, are just amazing. Thankyou for all your support and encouragement. And who brought the Melbourne weather to Qld? It's overcast, a touch chilly ( for Qld) and breezy... where did that sun go?
    Sorry I got back on Monday afternoon.

    Hi everyone! Waaaaay too much to catch up on, but I did skim through it all!

    Kit, your list is hilarious! Our baby is not so keen on the election, it was really quiet through the Saturday night coverage.

  14. #230

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    The computer and your uterus have no secret communication going on, and nothing bad will happen if you post!

    LOL KIT!

  15. #231

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    Maybe your baby was just thinking and plotting really really hard. Vegan prime minister would be awesome!

  16. #232

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    Kit

    Love it!!! Absolutely love it smiling the whole time I read it

  17. #233

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    You girls are fab.

  18. #234

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    Kit - way too funny. I LOVE your list. Give George a pat for me... mine have been super cuddly with the cooler weather here.

    Audax - I know you didn't bring it back....

    Ferals - I stopped worrying about statistics a long time ago, for me it's a waste of time, what will be will be and I just have to damn well make the most of what I have right now.... how does anyone ever explain using stats what has happened to me and you and to others in this thread? Statistics suck and are only reassuring if the negative side of them has never applied to you. Once you've become the person to whom it applies, there is no reassurance in them.

    The best thing, is to try and ward off the demons as best you can and forget about the numbers. If you can manage to even for one moment each day, put aside your fear, put your hands on your tum and just give this bubs all your love and positivity that you can muster right in that moment - what a beautiful gift for bubs and you.

    Jenna - I was told even before this preg that I would be on bed rest for most of my next preg. I stopped work at 7 weeks.... 29 long weeks ago. Thankfully things went well and I was able to negotiate a relaxed and modified bed rest... I could go a do a small errand but had to spend most of my time resting in bed. There are a few web sites out there that help women on bed rest and those that support them. I am just glad I didn't end u in hossy very early on, which is what I was expecting. Everything after not being in hossy long term was a bonus. But just when I thought I might be able to get out and about I've been told to take it easy.... oh well.

    Angelfish - no ideas on how to help a 9 yr old with self confidence/esteem problems, except to be a better role model than her mother was/is... sorry... 33 is not too OLD to continue on TTC, so if it's that number you're worried about, don't, but a decision to end the TTC journey is hard and a huge one and comes with its own hardships. Hoping you don't have to face that until after you're holding this little bubba in your arms and considering whether you want to TTC another.

    Welcome Mumm22 and Jenna - good to see you both here - and congrats on those miracle bundles growing inside. It's a VERY brave thing to do to come across - it's great in here... lots of support and often some laughs too. And you won't jinx yourselves by coming across but it does feel that way huh?

    Milly - I so have the guilts for not mentioning you by name.... accept my apologies for being so self centred. Good to see you - OMG 38 weeks is awesome. You must be HUGE and uncomfortable,. Glad baby has engaged. Can't beleive you made it so long working.

    Thanks for the support girls - I am feeling much more positive today... even though I thought I was getting gastro this morning... luckily no pukies, but I thought it would have been a relief. Anyway, feeling much better than I was at 3am and I didn't even really get back to sleep and feel great. Go figure.

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