should i go to her engagement?

[skeetaboat]

Sue it sounds like you just need a break above all else. It's no mean feat raising several troubled children on your own. You deserve a medal.

Counselling can be good if you're at a place where you want to do all that and sort through your thoughts and feelings, but I totally hear you - it's hard work and appointments are a hassle. You can certainly use counselling principles by yourself if you're familiar with them and have the time and energy.

Take all the rest and time for yourself that you need. I would still go to the engagement but ultimately it's up to you.

ETA: sometimes practical (rather than pyschological) changes to your situation make a world of difference, as you discovered when your children moved out. Doing some things that you've wanted to do but haven't been able to for YEARS might help you feel better about everything.