should i go to her engagement?

[sue1386]

when my kids have hurt me, i thought about if i would ever have contact again,
but when the moment came to reconnect i didnt think twice. like my grandmother did as i mentioned.

Thanks so so much for all your understanding and support. that is very very special.

i have 3 relatively younger children i still do need to care for and focus on, including 2 doing vce this year and next year, and oen of whom was very sick in 09. plus a daughter who had a baby at young age and is single, who i dont want to leave to feel alone too, i try to help her, take and pay for her shopping, for groceries, clothes, toys, clothes for baby, dvds when she is lonely, and keeping a connection and watch on her. She has also been very hurtful when she was troubled last year, but again i knew she was very troubled at the time so like my grandmother did, when she needed me and was more stable, i still forgave immediately and came back to help. i do need to minimise older hurtful children and situations that are draining troubled or hurtful.

i guess if i'm invited i'll go to the engagement. it will be difficult. i need a break from anyone or anything too troubled at present. working and caring for kids and recovering from it all is enough.

there is a different situation a bit similar to whether i should or shouldnt go to the engaement
my brother invites us once a year or so and i dont go as i raised a bunch of kids on my own for decades under challenging situations, and he lived not too far away , had a very blessed life and didnt show any understanding or generosity to our needs. i find that too painful. how alone i have felt for decades and its salt to a wound to have a brother, but who doesnt think about us or help. i try to forgive, understand, give explanations, but it doesnt mean i want to go to his home, and when i have its made me an emotional mess for days after. its just too painful for me what it raises.

and skeetaboat, at times when i knew i deserved 10 medals not just one like you mentioned, i was treated so badly. i beleive there are sometimes deeper reasons why things happen, past lives, who knows. i find it best to put it aside and keep going, or it is too timeconsuming and upsetting and leads nowhere . sometimes there arent answers in some traumas and its just best to try to stay away and move on to the present .

i could ahve written a book in the past on forgiveness, boundaries, how to not let behaviour of others upset us, i have that much self growth notes over the years as i dealt with so much. its been a constant theme especially in the last 13 years of my life. and yet i still need reminders about walking with grace, living our truth quietly and forgetting about others opinions or mistakes, that what others think is none of my business and doesnt count!

when i walk in the street i often put sunglasses to put a bit of protection and less eyecontact between myself and otehrs who have caused me pain or remind me of pain. it makes it a bit less painful for me. its not a good way to live.

thanks all of you so much. people dont always show they understand but you all really did. thats been another issue that has isolated me that i didnt feel others understood all these years, my exhaustion, the crisis i was dealing with, the needs of a large family and a sole parent. that isolated me alot finding that others didnt seem to understand, though of course i also have those around me who do .thanks so much and nice to hear from you again lulu.