thanks for that.

you know from my kids point of view there would be times that they would have just gotten weary of our situation and the stress
and me expressing it to anyone
tired, embarrassed.

recently 2 of my children had court situations. one an ex was trying to meddle with the child he never wanted.
and another was an ex girlfriend being charged for stealing money from my son

they are finding out how stressful court is
and yet my ex dragged me through court for years
i supported them so so so so so much and still do in all these situations, typing, helping them with hints, listening, giving soothing words and uplifting words, and wise words.

i was so alone through so much so i dont want them to suffer the terrible pain of that.

yes if i would hav emet someone and talked to them on the way back from court aobut the day i'd just had they would have felt embarrassed.

people who spread lies oculd use the word manipulate when in fact there is no manipulation but a true situatiohn of need

people get sick of situations of need and start to question them or accuse when there may be no need for that at all.

thats what happened in my situation and i saw it happen now to my daughter that soon after she became a single young mum, people wondered if she really needs help when she asks for it and started to accuse her of being manipulative when the real truth was so so painfully different.

yes i hve to learn not to care about others pain
i am sensitive and most of my family are so its hard work for us to try to not care

one of my children though is totally differnt, nothing bothers her and she is so lucky. she can just laugh off everything.

i have told friends of mine though that if i die of a heart attack from so much pressure on me, financial, emotional, heart break , hurt, that i DO want my kids and people around me to be told of the horrible impact they had on me and the repercussions their behaviour caused on my daily life.

Re the engagement thanks. one step at a time. so far she isnt engaged yet, she needs to find a ring, and she has not invited me yet.

Thanks so much.

Sue.