hey dotty honey,

i see you don't have any private message thing available.

sweetie i have to say i'm really worried about you. what would ever induce anyone to say anything like that is just plain appalling and sick. in my opinion you need to walk away now. it does not need to be permanent but he needs to think that it is. call me a manipulative b**** if you like but i just think that you need to make a really strong statement. how he reacts will show you what you need to know. i'm only 23 and have been having issues with my ex, but nothing as bad as you hun.. what you're experiencing right now is just not acceptable on any level.. do you have anyone to turn to? family? friends? a counsellor? even your midwife might be able to give you some names of support agencies. because you need all the help you can get. he is not worth the strain. your wellbeing is so important right now because everything you feel, your beautiful baby feels.

please dotty, let us know how you are. how's your pregnancy going? is everything okay with bub? is he busy? does he bring happiness to you? i know i would be lost now without my bump. he keeps me company when things are scary or sad.. seems to know when i need him, he'll make his presence known.

you need to show the father just where he stands. if he doesn't want to hang around so be it, but make sure he knows he can't come back. he won't be allowed to push or baby around. just cut him off. either he'll embrace the isolation or be desperate for you to relent. look to others for your support now, like your friends and whanau. you deserve it. i can't emphasise this enough. you deserve all the love and support in the world right now.

and katypila, hun, please let us know how you are. i know you were still just in teh first week really of knowing, so i guess anything could have happened. are you still pregnant? i am a great believer in the will of the universe. if you are then this is how it's meant to be. that's why i'm pregnant (to a man who i care about but who can get f***** if he trys to push me and baby around). but if you're not then maybe the time isn't right, and there is someone waiting just around the corner to make you incredibly happy and want you to be his life partner and the mother of his children. but if you still do have your gorgeous baby on board, then there is a reason for that. maybe s/he will be your life calling, regardless of who the father is.

you know hun. if you ever need to talk i'm around, and i check my mail most days. so if you want to set up your private message service i would love to hear how you're going. and just remember: que sera sera - what will be will be.