Today has been a week since Angel's Funeral and now more than ever i feel so alone like there is not only my Angel missing from my arms but its like cause the funeral has happened everyone thinks thats it.
I just want to be able to talk to people but cant get into chat yet.
i feel guilty for the pain my partner is going through.
i guess i'm really just having a bad day and didn't know what else to do but post something.
I couldn't read and not respond. I'm so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful Angel. Welcome to BB. I am sorry that it's through such sad circumstances. You'll find lots of support here.
Please do not apologise, our community is here to rally around you at times like these, so hopefully you'll feel a little less alone. I wish I could take away even just some of the ache in your arms and your heart, I'm so sorry for the loss of your Angel
Hun, i'm sorry you are doing it so tough. Maybe we can give you a hand to get your post count up?
Have you been in contact with Bonnie Babes or SIDS & Kids or any other organisations. I know they have telephone support services as well as on line support.
Please don't appologise; you're going through so much. I know there are support groups you can talk to, buy I dont know who they are.
Please be gentle with yourself, your pain is going to be raw for who knows how long, and that's ok. Big hugs x
Oh honey, you are feeling so many emotions now, please don't angst yourself over apologising. Unfortunately there are too many women on here who understand your pain, grief and sorrow that I"m sure you'll find the support that you need.
It's more than ok to be feeling like you are, regardless of how long ago the funeral was.
I really hope that you find some comfort here with us.
Feeling alone is just no good, so I'm glad you're posting here.
I can only repeat what others have said about contacting SIDS for someone to talk to- their 24 hour phoneline is staffed by parents who have experienced loss as well, so you will be speaking to someone who can relate to what you're going through. You can also get free one-on-one counselling.
I am not looking forward to when my DH returns to work, fills me with fear at being alone, and how will I fill my days when I had planned on filling them with being a mother?....So I am feeling for you and you are also in my thoughts .
Thankyou to all that responded it's all just so fresh i feel like i'm on a roller coaster with more downs than ups though.
No i havn't been in contact with anyone and noone has been in contact with me.
atm i have no home phone that i can ring anyone on so thats why i have been searching then net and been quiet unsucsessful.
So now i have to just wait and try to get my posts up enough so i can go on the chat room here i just hope i can do it sooner rather than later.
Bearmum- My partner has been back at work for 2 weeks it was so hard watching him drive out the driveway. Each day i hate watching him go but once he is gone i can start the countdown till he is back plus he is available any time i need him during the day. I won't lie and say you will be fine all i can say is it will be hard but we have already dealt with so much its just another thing we have to do.
Hi, we are always here if you need to talk, you don't need tomgominto chat, just pst a thread on any topic and there will be plenty of ladies there for you.
Bb ladies have helped me keep my sanity many times
Oh, that must be so hard not having a home phone at the moment!
If you are isolated without a car as well, a counsellor from SIDS maybe able to do some home visits. I did read in their pamphlet that in some circumstances they can do this. Guess it depends on where you live as well.
I'm thinking of enrolling in a tafe arts course for the start of next year- I don't have a job to return to, and I know I need something to fill my days.
Is there a community college, or some kinda course or group near you that you could join? Anything would do really, just to fill in that void.. xx
Oh hun, I am so so so sorry that you have lost your Angel, it is such an unfair and cruel thing to happen and I wanted to offer you massive I did see you in the chat last night hun and do hope you can get in soon but as someone has mentioned pour your heart out by starting a thread because there are so many gorgeous people on BB that will offer you support/ advice and just a shoulder to cry on. Please do not even apologose for saying how you feel, you need to do that to help you heal, sweetheart. I wish I could say or do something to take away your pain but all I can do is offer you big big warm :hugs:
Last edited by Lily Dust; October 26th, 2010 at 12:15 PM.
sweetie - use this thread to get it all out. I understand the isolation and loneliness and pain. I can only say it does get easier to bear. Having outside support helps though, to get you out of your head. That emptiness of having no baby is just awful. Unfortunately there's no cure. It gets easier to deal with, but the grief is there forever.
I found it difficult calling SANDS, I didn't try SIDS. Just picking up the phone had me in tears. We're getting grief counselling which is useful though. Do you have a mobile phone or family you can be with? When DH went back to work I often went to my Mum's and still do. I've only just started back at work part-time. Can you download skype and use that to call people?
Doing things like writing your birth story, journalling, going for walks, all these things can help. We're here as well. I can't say that I'll be able to be here everyday because some days are just too hard, but I try to be here when I can.
Everything you're going through is normal - the pain, the grief, the guilt (even though you did NOTHING wrong), the tears, the emptiness, the fog, low energy... it's all perfectly normal. Getting it all out helps.
as i was saying i work at a school so am surrounded everyday with the mass of pregnant mums and babies comming to pick up thier other children i'm filled with such a jelousy that it scares me.
I guess not having any answers to why my Angel is not here with me makes it hard.
I don't want to be bitter towards others as i would not wish this upon anyone.
Did anyone else have these feelings in the begining?
hun after loosing Emmanuel I was at the supermarket shopping and it seemed like every isle I turned there was a pregnant lady, then at the deli a baby in the pram just set me off. I had to leave my full trolley and just left. It's so hard but honestly it does get easier.
Regards,
Dianne
Emmanuel born sleeping @24wks
Trisomy 13
Dabrady's - how are you going? It's been a bit longer now since your last post and I wanted to check in on you.... those feelings you have? Blossom they are soooooo very normal. I had them too, and not just in the begining either... all of the feelings.... like Tashybabe said. Grief is a very demanding journey full of lots of unexpected twists and turns. It's a very lonely journey as only you can walk in your shoes. Anyway, just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you and sending you my love and courage.
I am so sorry that you have to go through this.... grieving an angel is singularly the hardest thing I have ever had to do.
Go gently.
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i feel so alone
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