I don't quite know where to start with this except to say that Ashlea's behaviour has got so out of control that today resulted in me in my room crying, and Ashlea in her room crying.

Ashlea can be the most delightful, mature and helpful little girl, but in a split second turns into a monster. I know this is quite common, but its got so bad lately that i don't know what to do anymore.

Yesterday I asked her to get dressed. She's always had issues with getting dressed. It ened up taking 2 hours between all the tantrums over clothes. The skirt had a frill on it she didnt like, despite the fact it was a skirt she picked herself and has worn before without problems. The jeans were wrinkly to her, despite just being ironed. She hates the shoes she wore for 2 weeks straight in QLD.
This goes on and on and on and she cries and yells and screams and slams doors and i end up so frustrated that i smack her.
I have tried letting her pick her own clothes, i've tried picking them myself, no matter what i do its always a challange.

When she is finally dressed, she's back to being an angel. The I suggest we do something fun like a bike ride. This is all fine until something doesnt go her way and she ends up hysterical and we are in public and shes screaming cause something isnt right. I get to the point where i take her home and explain her behaviour isn't okay and that she misses out if she behaves like this. So she screams more and more cause i take her home.

I always follow through with what i say will happen if she behaves like this, and I am always consistent with sending her to her room or taking away favourite toys etc. I do end up smacking her which i hate doing but by this time i'm at my wits end and dont know what else to do. I've tried talking to her and reasoning with her but as soon as she gets the slightest bit upset with something she is impossible, wont listen to reason and wont let anyone help.

The same thing happens with dinner. She tells me how starving hungry she is and carries on and on and on, but as soon as i give her dinner, which i talk about with her first what she wants, she wont eat it, wont sit still, gets all silly and grumpy and its impossible to get her to eat it.

After i give up, she tells me she's hungry 20 minutes later. If i give her the dinner heated up she wont eat it again.

Everything is just so difficult and hard and stressful. Not a day goes by where by lunchtime we havent had at least one major tantrum. She goes to bed at 8ish and has a sleep for an hour mpst days, so its not like she's over tired or anything.

I'm so sick of doing this on my own with no help. Her dad is an idiot and if i ask for help or try and talk to him he basically says not his problem. He thinks having her every second weekend is him doing his wonderful father duties.

I spoke to the MHCN about it trying to get some help and they put me onto someone else who said the only thing the can suggest is the Positive parenting program, but seeing as i do mostly everything they teach already they dont know what else to do.

I'm so exhausted by her behaviour, i'm sick of wanting to do fun or special things with her only for her to spend the whole time having a tantrum or being horrible.

At kinder they tell me what an angel she is, always willing to help, so polite, so wonderful. Daycare have told me the same. So what the hell am i doing so wrong with her? its so embarrasing the way she acts and I feel like the worse mother because of her behaviour

Sorry this is so long, I just don't know what to do anymore...