Dee, I am no expert as my children are younger than Ashlea, so I may be barking up the wrong tree here, but some of the behaviours you have mentioned are frighteningly similar to Olivia's..............

I have read loads on the tantrum issue, and one thing keeps coming back to me from one of the books......

"The tantrum is very rarely about the issue, it is about power"

This makes sense to me, with Olivia, and I am wondering if it is the same for Ashlea?

ie She is not really bothered about the clothes/getting dressed issue, but she subconsciously knows that by creating a scene every morning over clothes/dressing that she is the one that holds the power? Same with food......it is not really about the food or hunger or taste at all, but that she subconsciously knows that she holds the power?

Olivia is only 2.5, but I realise that this is what she was doing. She created merry hell and tantrumed over having her hair brushed every singel time, to the point where I was just never bothering, & letting her hair look dreadful, as I couldn't face the tantrum every morning!! I then realised I had "relinquished" the power to her totally. SO I left it a week, then we talked and talked and talked it over, then I just calmly took control and let her scream & DIDN'T react AT ALL by any of her performance over the hair brushing.....it only took 4 days of me staying TOTALLY calm and not responding to her tantrums and they have now stopped. (This was about a month ago.)

Not sure if that helps?

Although it sounds like you had a great day today! Well done!!