Mel - it sounds like she is testing your boundaries - big time! another brilliant book that I read, and saved my sanity was Boundaries with Kids. It is a christian book - so there are bibilical references in it, but having said that, I'm not a christian, and tended to flick over them. it doesnt take away from the overall messages - which basically that actions have conseqences and taking responsiblity for your own behaviour and the choices you make- now and when you grow up. after I had read the book I sat down with Laura and nathan and told them that this was what would be happening. this was about 4 years ago. and yes we still have our ups and downs, but overall things are monumentally better. it did get worse before it got better, but I just kept reminding myself that I was over the fighting, yelling and nagging... and it got me through.

the whole blended family thing is painful and has a unique dynamic all of its own!! often I feel like I have two families - one with DH and aston, the other with laura nathan and aston... drives me nuts!

I'm glad you took her phone off her, and the other things, be consistent with her, you have done the right thing, no matter how much she yells at you, YOUR THE MUM and you make the rules. She may have been able to do what she wanted when and where when she was with your mum, but she chose to come and live with you, so she has to live by your rules. Hang in there Mel. have a look at Kaz Cooke, see if you can get a copy of Boundaries with Kids, and talk talk talk... and I know how hard it is - but DONT engage with her when she is being arguementive.... just repeat after me... "when you are ready to talk to me calmly I'll be ready to listen..." and walk away.