Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage or Loss May 2007 #2

[Bun]

Hi girls,

Salt - so sorry to hear that you have been down. I have missed you! I hope you are feeling better now. I also get so sick of having to start over again when AF arrives. I hope you had a good long weekend.

las - woo hoo! Good luck with the FET.

Twomums - good luck!

Sharon - sorry to hear about your DS's girlfriend - how terrible. I would be so angry at DH for saying that! My DH said recently that maybe we keep m/cing because I am too light! You just can't win, can you? I am 173cm tall and 60kg, which is not underweight, it's in the healthy range. But I bet we would have the biggest whinge if I put on weight, so I don't know what he wants me to do! I don't think weight actually has much to do with m/c anyway!

satya - how many DPO are you now? It is all sounding very positive for you this cycle!

Lee - how long do you think you will hold out before you test?

pash - woo hoo on AF being late! Sounds good! I think that was really insensitive of your friend, esp since he's a nurse!! I found that too with some friends. One friend's boyfriend, who we had last seen when we announced we were pg, when I next saw him after m/cing, didn't say a thing! Not even an 'I'm sorry', nothing! It's like a big, fat elephant standing between us and he just ignored it! You do get to know who your real friends are when you go through this - I have been quite surprised by how much better some people were at dealing with this than I would have thought, and how bad some 'good' friends have been.

cherie - woo hoo! Have you tested again?

ttbp - I had a long cycle after each m/c, I think it can mess things around a bit. Also, probably the stress of it all can delay O I suppose. I hope things get back to normal for you soon!

Hi to everyone I have missed.

I am now 11DPO. I have sore bbs, very creamy cm and my face has broken out sooooo badly. I am wondering if my symptoms are just AF symptoms though. I have never noticed sore bbs before AF, so I always see this as a pg symptom, but am wondering if perhaps I have just never noticed it before, as I wasn't looking for symptoms. I know it is quite common to get sore bbs before AF - for those of you who do, when do they start to get sore? Is it right before AF, or sooner? Mine seem to get sore at 9DPO. I am supposed to have my pg BT for the clinic on Thurs, at 13DPO, but I don't want to get it done! I know it sounds silly, but I would rather not know for as long as possible if I am pg, and that is soooo early. Maybe I will change my mind, but I would rather wait until I am a week late and then test. I am feeling quite calm about it all atm, and I am sure that it will happen, if not this cycle, then at some stage, so I don't see the hurry in finding out. And I am sooo over BTs! They always want me to get a BT done, when to me it makes more sense to wait a couple of days and if AF doesn't arrive, then do a HPT, and then if it's positive, do a BT. They are just so keen on drawing my blood all the time! It has been really nice to have a break from BTs for the last couple of weeks, and the bruising on my arm is actually starting to heal!

[timnik77]

Hello everyone, I posted a message last week and haven't had a chance to come back again since then, soo many posts to read on here too! AF arrived for me today, but had a feeling that I wasn't pg this month anyway. First month of clomid for me this month so hopefully I will have more luck this coming cycle. I went to my gyno and got the all clear from my tests, apparently all the tests came back normal so there is no real reason why I have m/c twice - just bad luck. I also had BT done on D21 of this cycle and apparently they were really good and showed that I had o this month so all is looking reasonable positive. Tests also came back for DH and apparently he is a bit low sperm count and poor mobility also but they said they didn't get his sample to the lab within 2 hours so that may not be entirely accurate? You would think they would make sure those sort of things do get there on time, they are messing with our very important information! Went to a physic on Saturday and she predicted that I would find out that I was pg by Aug this year so I am feeling pretty happy about it. She seemed to be pretty spot on with alot of other things she said so fingers crossed! She even predicted that it would be a girl and she would be premmie!
Sorry for such a selfish post all about myself but I feel as though there is so much I need to say, will try to come on here more often!

[Lee]

Hi Lovelies,

Salt - you are such a lovely woman. Connecting with everyone here, despite being a bit low and blah blah blah at CD6. Thanks for your kindness. I'm 7 dpo now, and you are right - it seems to take forever. I'm minding my friends 3 kids for two nights, as well as my own two - so 5 kids under 10 years is keeping me busy - never done so much cooking!! It's heaps of fun though. Wishing you a BFP this cycle, another week or so and you will O again, and off goes the roller coaster ride again, this time to the destination you want huh!!

Bun - Well I'm only 7dpo, so no point testing yet. I really want to wait until AF is a few days late this cycle, no point getting disappointed over an early BFN. Interesting you say your skin has broken out. Yesterday, I had a BFZ (lol - my new acronym - big fat zit!!) turn up on my chin, and my face seems a bit blotchy. I'm kind of assuming it could be AF symptoms. Is a skin outbreak an indicator (potentially) of pregnancy? My BBs are a tiny bit tender. With my last pg, I conceived overseas (on hols in France) and was staying pretty remote and couldn't test until I got back to Australia - which was 2 weeks after my missed AF!! Hence to say I got a very very strong double line on the HPT. At this same time, my BBs were not just sore, they were pretty painful! So much so that I had to wear a bra to bed and it hurt to roll on them! So, I guess in my history, the really strong true preggers symptoms did not appear until 2 weeks after the missed period, then the morning sickness also hit with a vengance. Right now I'm actually looking forward to morning sickness, bring it on I say!! So, to answer your question, I have to wait another week (if AF doesn't show meantime) before testing. Sigh sigh sigh..... Can't wait to hear how you go at the clinic!

Sharon - 3 days BD before O - still got a fighting chance!!

Pash - Excited for you - and praying the wicked AF stays away, and a beautiful fertilized egg stays instead!! Fingers crossed for you!

Satya - how are you feeling, you are a day or two ahead of me past Oing. I seemed to O later this cycle. How are your symptoms - I detect an air of calmness around you this cycle, you are more relaxed - when do you think you will test?????????????????????

Las - great you O'd!!!!!!! Fingers crossed for you this cycle too!

Well - not much more to report here - just stuck in the abyss of the 2WW, and trying not to physco-analyse every little thing

Love to all,

Lee xo

[kiwigirl]

Hi - thought you might find this research interesting reading.. here's their findings in short:

The probability of conception ranged from 0.1, when intercourse occurred five days before ovulation, to 0.33, when intercourse occurred on the day of ovulation. The probability of conception was highest with daily intercourse (0.37) and dropped to 0.15 with untimed intercourse once a week. Increased frequency of intercourse did not lower fertility, disputing the belief that frequent intercourse will decrease the potency of semen.

[Sequoia]

Kiwigirl, that makes sense. When I am about to O, my FS tells us to DTD everyday around that time. His theory is quality, not quantity, since it only takes 1 spermie to get to the egg and it's better to be a fresh spermie rather than a 2 or 3 day old one.

Did I explain that properly??

[claireabel]

Hi all

My god, there's so much going on in this thread that my head's spinning!

14DPO for me today and still no AF, although my temp did drop a little bit. i just can't get it out of my head. i usually get AF on 12DPO, so am hopeful this month. I almost tested this morning but didn't as i didn't think i'd be able to cope with the result - a -ive would be crushing and a +ive would leave me thinking it's false. I'll give it a few more days i think - DH wants to test thurs if no AF by then.

Pash, i know exactly how you feel! i just want to ignore the possibility of a pregnancy too, but it's impossible! My fingers are crossed for you.

Sharon thanks for the support. BD'ing three days before O still gives you guys great chances, esp for a little girl! good luck.

Shellbell i can't believe people would say it wasn't a real m/c because you were five weeks. the loss of a bubba is the loss of a bubba, no matter when it occurred. 5 weeks might seem a short time but the attachment you form is no less. Some people just don't get it.

Megan - good luck to you both with this cycle.

Kiwigirl - hello! nice to see you in the TTC thread as opposed to te waiting for AF one! Good luck with the 2WW. i didn't find this one as hard as last time (up until the last day or two) b/c i was so cautious of getting my hopes up. i didn't get a lot of EWCM this cycle either, and i normally get loads, so maybe it has something to do with the d&c? good luck.

Las - good luck! hopefully the green tea and pineapple juice will bring great results.

Bun - you sounds like you're in a great state of mind - i wish i was as calm! good luck with th next few days.

TimNik - how exciting! i rang a psychic after my mc b/c i just wanted 'answers', but can't get in until end of june. one of my girlfriends went to see her after her m/c and she knew all about the m/c and predicted she was pg (she was, just over 2 weeks!) and that she'd have a little girl then a little boy! hopefully we'll be hearing good news from you soon, august isn't that far away!

Salt i'm so sorry you're not feeling great. it's so hard being at the wrong end of your cycle. i hope it happens soon for you.

Lee - not too much longer to go for you. i laughed at the pyscho-analysis thing, that's me to a tea! i'm in a shocker of a mood today and am wondering if it's pms or pg hormones!

Speak soon girls, good luck to everyone in the 2WW and earlier on in their cycles.

[pash]

2mums - Like you said, it only takes one egg (and a little spermie), so fingers crossed that Kim's egg is the one, and maybe the super fertility powers will help it stick. BTW, had no idea follicles were so big. Alyways thought they'd be only visible under a microscope. Sorry for being so ignorant & showing it
Rachael - hmm... thats a bit confusing. I read somewhere that its possible to have more than one patch of EWCM in a cycle, and that you don't necessarily O at them all. Tho dunno what it means when the temps don't match the CM. Maybe just keep up the BD ;P DH should like that.
Salt - You are such a sweetheart. Hope you're feeling better. Maybe its a good thing that you care less about trying. Maybe it will happen when you least expect it. You might get all the joy without the anxiety.
Las - That's great news! Wonder if the shops are noticing a higher demand for pineapple juice & green tea?
TimNik - I suppose it must be good to know that everything is ok medically, and that it was just bad luck. Hopefully that will ease your mind when you do fall pg. V interesting about the psychic. A lady did my numbers a few years ago & predicted my first child at 30yrs. Not true or false yet, but just thought I'd share. Hope your predictions come true.
Lee - Not too long to wait now! You're past halfway.
Shoegal - What are you upto? I like the quality not quantity explanation BTW. Will have to tell DH about needing fresh spermies!

Bun - Your attitude is SOOOOO good! Maybe all the jabs are acting as acupunture and having a calming effect? Seriously though, I think you have a great attitude, and I wish some of your calm & patience would rub off on me.

My BBs get a bit sore & lumpy (sounds lovely doesn't it) about 3-5 days before AF & during. But when pg (though at about 6 weeks on) they really really hurt. Especially in the fruit & veg section of the supermarket where its colder. But if you don't usually get sore BBs, I'd see that as a good sign.

Claireabel - I know EXACTLY what you mean. Pulling my hair out (literally, the shower drain is blocked cos of my hair, and the plumber has left the shower in an unusable state so extra deodorant 2moro, sorry for the sidetrack). Really really want to know now, but don't think I can cope with a BFN.

I feel like a different person to the rational woman that I was at the start of the 2WW. I have no signs that I might be pg. No sore BBs. Not peeing loads. Even the zits have calmed down. Only AF is 1 day late & I am convinced that I might be pg. Sort of, ok, not convinced at all.

Dunno if I should test and know now. Or if I should wait (for what?! I forget what I wanted to wait for?). Is it better to get a BFN now, or AF later?

*arrrgh* I'm going crazy! Once upon a time I used to be able to focus on things other than TTC

[satya]

Hi everyone,

Sharon - Don't you just hate friends & neighbours announcing pregnancies when they haven't been trying long. Another of my favourites is the people who are having serious relationship problems that suddenly turn up pregnant.
Las - good luck with the transfer.
shellbell - I'm sorry for your loss. Regardless of how far along you were it was a real loss. I've had two early losses (10 years apart) so I understand.
Clairabel - Welcome. I am sorry for your loss. What cycle day are you on? Don't stress too much about being pg. It's quite common after m/c to think that you are again when you are not..... just ask any of us in here.
Pash - I might test tomorrow - 10DPO but I'm trying to hold off. I Can't believe you haven't tested. I would have caved in ages ago.
Twomums - Try to remember that it's still better to have one follicle than to have none at all. I hope all goes well this cycle.
Bun - Things are sounding very positive for you this cycle. Good luck with the BT if you have it.
Timnik - I hope the psychic is right about a pregnancy but I hope they are wrong about it being a premmie. You don't need that added stress.
Salt - I hope your AF disappears soon.
Lee - Some women do get skin breakouts with early pregnancy but I get them most months mid cycle and around AF time so I can't look at that as a sign. I hope your TWW goes really fast.
Sorry to anyone I've missed.
It's now CD23 9DPO for me. My tiredness has continued. My cold is almost gone. Just have a stuffy nose now and the odd bout of coughing. I've now had two dips in my chart and my temp has now gone up above other temps this cycle. I can't really read anything into it though as I have been sick and have coughed heaps so my temps could have been affected. Last night I had to get up twice to use the loo, on Monday night I had to get up 6 times. I had been drinking heaps of water on Monday so that could account for that, but yesterday's water consumption was pretty normal. In the 24 hours between 9.30pm Monday & 9.30pm Tuesday I peed 20 times... yes I counted... I couldn't help myself after the 6 trips during the night. I'm hoping that this is a good sign and not just part of my cold.... I guess only time will tell. I've also had a couple of days of bleeding gums when I brush my teeth. My BBs are not sore but my tiny dog jumped on my chest yesterday and the pain was huge.

I am so trying not to get my hopes up. The last two cycles I had things I saw as symptoms but they died down in week 4 so I guess they are my O symptoms. Now I'm trying to blame everything on my cold so I don't get excited. That said, I may test tomorrow. My last cycle was a 24 day one so I think it should be OK to test on CD24. I'd like to hold out until I actually go overdue at CD28 (if I do) but I don't think I can hold out. I have some of the LC early instream tests so I might just do it tomorrow am.

[shellbell]

Thank you all so much for your kind welcome.

Satya You are a stronger woman than me... I would have tested already. For me it is like obsessive complusive disorder... It seems to take so long to O and then to wait another 2 weeks - well it is just too hard!!! Having said all that, I wish that I could be strong enough to wait. I have my fingers crossed for good news!

Pash Ditto above!! Once upon a time I used to do all sorts of useful things when I got to work in the morning, now I log on to FF and then BB.... it is hard.

Clairabel Good luck testing!!!

Shoegal That is the first time I have heard that frequency is OK... everyone seems to promote the "every second day" theory!! Havig said that, last cycle DH and I were super desperate to conceive (as opposed to all other cycles when we are only "mildly" desperate ) and DTD 7 days in a row - I don't think we even looked at each other for about a week later!

salt all the best getting ready to O.

Bun My BB's are usually extremely sore from about 6DPO. They get to the point that I can hardly sleep on them until AF arrives and then the pain disappears. When I was PG they stayed sore, but weren't extruciatingly sore - they also started to tingle a lot. This month they are doing absolutely nothing at all... so I am not sure if that information helps or not. I think everyone's a bit different with stuff like that.

I am 6DPO (if in fact I did O).... and I HATE the TWW.... It takes forever.

[timnik77]

Hi guys, can't believe tomorrow I am going to be 30! Have never worried or stressed out about turning a year older ever before! I think 30 is some sort of 'perceived' milestone in my head where I thought I would have my babies all done, be financially secure and loving life as a stay at home mum. My friends keep reassuring me that I am not a failure because I have not accomplished my goals that I set by this point in my life but can't help feeling that way! Sorry for the vent

I love logging on here and reading all about what others are thinking and going through, I find it a real support. I feel like everyone is so in tune with what their bodies are doing/feeling, maybe that is where I am going wrong? Being a little too casual about the whole thing? I have found in the past when I have been successful in falling pg (even though none of them eventuated) it seemed to have been the times when I forgot about it all for a while.

Satya, Pash & Claireabel - I will be keeping a keen eye on you all to see what happens when you do test! Good luck to you all!

I seem to get the sore BB right from when I O and then after AF they go away. When pg though the soreness just got worse! In fact the soreness going away was my first indicator that something wasn't right when I had both m/c. Hopefully it is a positive sign for you all that all the rights things are happening.

I thought I had AF yesterday but seemed to be just a little bit of spotting and not much else. I am supposed to be starting my second cycle of chlomid and am anxiously waiting for AF to come properly so I can start taking it! Has anyone else had any experience with clomid? Do you have to wait until a full bleed before taking it? I know I am supposed to wait until day 2 but do I count yesterday as day one? I usually only see AF for 4 days max anyhow?

Anyway best of luck to all for this coming month, hopefully there will be success

[nikilove]

Hello everyone don't mean to cut in your thread I just was reading all of your messages you all are so encouraging and strong. It's nice to know its people out here that you can relate to that has experience what you have. I lost my baby boy Janurary 3, 2007 I was twenty weeks this would of been the month I would of had him. I think about it but it happen for what ever reason that I'm not questioning. I know we all will be blessed with healthy babies sooner than we think.Faith is what keeping me going knowing it will happen and when it do I will be so happy.
sorry for cutting in on your thread I just needed someone to talk to.
thanks

[sandielreese]

Hi everyone. My name is Sandie, and I found on Mother's Day that I was unexpectedly pregnant with baby #4. Unfortunately it ended just 2 weeks later in early miscarriage. I won't even try to put into words the hurt, anger and loss I am feeling right now.
I am hoping and praying like crazy, that we will manage to get pregnant again right away. I actually run a website for women who suffer from infertility after it took us 5 years and several miscarriages to get pregnant with baby #3. I'm posting here though because I am finding it difficult to express my feelings with the women on my website because they are just to close to my heart.
Anywho, I'm sorry I didn't mean to drag this all out.
I'm glad to have found all of you, and I am sending out lots of prayers and baby dust to all of you. I hope we all get a nice BFP soon!

[Bun]

Morning girls,

Nikilove - so sorry to hear about your baby boy. It must be so hard thinking what would have been this month. . Feel free to post in here anytime you want. We are all here for you.

Salt - sorry to hear that you are feeling down. This process really is such a rollercoaster. I think it's good that you have a plan to see Mike if you don't conceive in the next couple of months. I am sure he will be able to help you if it comes to that. I get v jealous of women who have trouble-free pregnancies too, and don't even realise how lucky they are.

Nicole - happy birthday! I think it's good that you are quite casual about the whole TTC process. The trouble with trying to get in tune with your body is that you constantly look for signs or symptoms and drive yourself crazy!! I'm glad all your test results came back normal. Sometimes it seems hard to believe that 2 losses in a row can just be bad luck, but it can be and is in both our cases. With clomid, my clinic makes me have a BT on day 2 of my cycle to check that my hormones are at baseline levels before they will let me start taking it. Do you have someone you can call and ask?

shellbell - it really is awful how some people treat it like it's not a real loss. They have absolutely no idea what they are talking about. My FIL told me that in their day, they would not even have known about a pregnancy when I lost mine, I'm like - and what difference does that make? And anyway, he has no idea what he is talking about!! I got really angry because my first loss was a lot later and there is no way you would not know what was going on if you saw what I saw, but the second loss, although I was only 5w 3d and wasn't as traumatic physically, it still hurt just as much. I know it sounds awful, but sometimes I wish the people who make these comments would go through this too just so they would know how awful it really is and to get them to stop making such horrible comments ever again.

Lee - a skin breakout can definitely be a symptom due to all the hormones running around. I just never know when I am looking too much into things! Good luck!

satya - have you tested yet??

pash - it can be soooo hard not to test!! My attitude seems to change daily. I am quite happy and calm atm, but it could change in 5 mins. I try and remind myself of the good things of not being pg, like eating and drinking what you like, having more money, etc, it doesn't make it ok, but I like to try and concentrate on these things if I can. And I also think that it will happen eventually, we just have no control over when. I can't believe you are late and still haven't tested!

claireabel - have you tested yet? Your chart looks fantastic! I reckon you are pg.

Hi to everyone I have missed.

I have decided I am not going to get the BT done tomorrow. I will have to ph the clinic and tell them (or they ph and hassle me when the results don't come in when expected), and I am sure they will tell me off, but I don't care. It is difficult to know when AF is due, as clomid can change your LP, but I don't want to be testing until at least 15DPO, actually I would rather wait til 19DPO, but I will see how I go. I am quite happy to just wait. We have finally decided that after our holiday in Spain we will spend the last 5 days in Paris before coming home. I can't wait! We are also going to go to Eurodisney. I figure if I am not pg, I will be able to go on more rides and eat and drink to my hearts content, so what does it matter if I am pg or not? Both are good, and if I'm not, then we just try again next month.

[Sequoia]

Shoegal - What are you upto? I like the quality not quantity explanation BTW. Will have to tell DH about needing fresh spermies!

Hi Pash, I am going much better, thanks for asking. 2 weeks yesterday since I MC'd and I am 100% positive I O'd yesterday. We are not going to try until next cycle so that must mean AF is about 2 weeks away.

When it first happened I was desperate to try again but now realise that this time has been good to reflect and allow my body to regenerate. I am trying to be positve and hope we will be blessed very soon.

Bah!! I just want to join this thread again and have something to contribute! ATM, I am hanging out in the Waiting for AF after MC thread...

Good luck with a hun!!

[Sequoia]

Thanks Salty, hugs to you hun.

xo

[claireabel]

Hi girls

I still haven't tested and am astounded i've held off - i'm normally the most impatient girl in the world. then again, DH hid the HPTs! i went to woolies tonight and picked up a couple of digital tests, so am set for the morning. god, i wish i could have a drink so i sleep well. my temp went up quite a lot this morning and the temp pattern is very similar to the cycle i fell pg last time, so fingers crossed.

Satya - good luck testing tomorrow! Hope the cold gets better too. my temps don't seem to be too badly affected by colds etc so i think you're still in with an excellent chance. good luck!

Shellbell - hearing you about the 2WW! i was v lucky this time, spent more than half the wait over in NZ visiting MIL, so the time went quickly. hopefully it'll be time for you to test in no time.

TimNik - i love this place too, reading up on everyone else makes me realise i'm not the only one in this horrible boat. good luck with the clomid, i have never taken it myself but have heard lots of success stories. Happy birthday too!

Niki - i'm sorry about your little boy. you sound very strong, good luck with your ttc journey.

Salt, you're not being negative, i think we all feel that way, it's only natural. i've felt myself wanting to go and tell pg women they don't know how lucky they are, but as a friend pointed out, they may have had miscarriages and/or trouble conceiving too, there are a lot of heartbreaking stories out there - and thank god also happy endings!

I too have lost a couple of friends due to their comments after our m/c. one compared it to her abortion and another who pretty much dismissed it and then carried on about how her househunting was the most stressful thing in the world to go through. i found myself wishing that she'd experience miscarriage too so she can see just how hurtful her comments were. god, can't believe i admitted that, but it's true.

Sandie, sorry for your loss. i can't imagine having to experience the double-whammy of infertility and miscarriage. i hope your family grows bigger soon.

Bun - thanks for your optimism!!! hopefully i'll prove you right tomorrow. Do you know what DPO you are now? your trip to europe sounds fab, v jealous! my best friend is over in paris on her honeymoon at the moment and little brother has just moved to spain. canberra feels very boring by comparison.

Shoegal - good news about ovulating! i was really pleased when i ovulated after my m/c (it took four weeks) as i just felt my body knew what to do to get back to normal. hope the 2ww goes quickly for you.

Better go and help DH with dinner. i'll try to post before work with the HPT results.

[Lee]

Hey Satya - best of luck for a positive result in the morning, it's still early-ish, but I pray you will be pregnant!!!!! Hope I wake up to good news from a few of you lovely ladies tomorrow morning!!

No great news from me tonight. 8dpo.....................

Have been feeling surprising high on energy and clear headed - not at all how I usually feel with AF due in a few days time. Not that I'm reading anything into that!!!!!!!! The bottom line is I just don't know, so no point sweating over it. Actually, if I'm not pg this cycle, I just know I'm very close to being bored with being obsessed, and will let it go a bit..... just a bit...

Yep, I just love the 2WW!!!!

Hugs to all,

Lee xoxo

[pash]

Nicole - HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope you enjoy your birthday. Even though what you're feeling is natural, you're not a failure. I'm sure you done loads of stuff that you never planned to do by 30. Maybe try to appreciate those things and all the people who love you.

But I know its easier said than done. I turned 30 last month, and felt like this was the first big thing I'd failed at (except for English in year 7!).

Satya & Claireabel - Belated good luck for the tests. How'd you go?!?!
Shellbell & Lee - Wish I could speed up you TWWs
Nikilove - it must be a tough month for you. Have you passed the EDD? please feel free to express your feelings here. You'll get loads of support and no judgement whatsoever.
Welcome Sandie. I'm sorry for your loss. Feel free to express your feelings & vent here. Everyone here is lovely, and you can take all the time & space you need here.
Shoegal - LOL! You can post here even if you're not ttc yet. No one's going to dob you in to your doc. I'm glad you're in a better place though. The first few weeks are really hard. But it does get easier, and I admire your braveness.

Salt - sweetheart I hate to see you down. I know exactly what you mean though. I have images that flash before me that torture me. Immeasurably happy ones and inexpressibly miserable ones. You're right its not fair. Don't you just sometimes want to drop to the floor and chuck a tantrum?

But I know its going to work out for you. I do hope you start feeling more positive. Has AF stopped for you yet?

Bun - Thanks for the advice (re reminding yourself of the positives of not being pg). That really helped me today. I was convinced AF was coming cos I had a headache & cramps.

Wow a holiday in Spain & Paris sounds like a great positive! Hey, you're going to be in my neck of the woods, are you coming to London at all?

"maybe your baby will be conceived in the city of love?". And if its a girl, you can call her Paris! Oh wait, you probably don't want to be mum to a slapper

Me? I've given way to peer pressure and am going to test either tonight or tomorrow morning. Either way it will be good news. If its a BFP, obviously I'll be ecsatic (and I'll be going home). If its a BFN, I am going to open the giant cider in the fride, make a brie, tomato & basil salad and eat an entire jar of potted meat. Then I will plan something that pg ppl cannot do like skydiving (though knowing me, it'll be to do with eating).